RAR Match update: Exclusive Interview with RookSacrifice Part 2!

As you all know, I am pretty lazy, so I will take what my (former) editor wrote in Part 1 of this blog and put it right here. 

What was said earlier:

[Picture taken from somewhere online. Who knows where. Search up "RookSacrifice" in Google and look in the images, and you will find it. But that's besides the point. At least I think so. Sorry, I shouldn't be hogging all the attention, and instead I will let my boss, Joseph_Truelson, post his amazing content] -editor

 Hello everybuddy! The RAR match is on, and today we will be sharing information about RookSacrifice. This includes information about his life, done in an interview online on the 21st, the darkest day of the year. Not surprisingly, the interview was also quite dark. We also hope to have an interview with Samuel Deng, but that will have to be done in person, since when he is on the computer he is RookSacrifice. 

Initially, RookSacrifice was not ready for an interview. He was too scared of the mass media coverage, and disguised this by saying that he didn't want an interview unless I didn't edit it. So I had to do the thing I dreaded most, agree not to edit what he said, except for slight grammatical errors. Terrible, isn't it! Either way, I won't let us spoil the fun. Each one of the questions will have two answers: What he actually said, and what he wanted to say.

Ok then, here is part 2 of the exclusive interview! We won't stop until all the questions have been answered!

(By the way, Part 1 of the interview can be viewed here ) 

Question #16: What type of chess do you view yourself as worse than Joseph at?

RookSacrifice: RAR Chess (editor's note - this means causing opponents to play bad moves, supposedly and truthfully by intimidation) Also, Daniel (real name has been hidden for security and privacy purposes) said it best: "for some reason, Joseph's opponents always trade into pawn endgames when they are down a pawn. (Me: What's wrong with that?)

What he meant to say: So are you actually talking about strictly the game of chess, and pure skill? Well, I am much better than him at all areas of chess. For one thing, I am 10 times smarter than that loser. I also study 10 times more. That means that I am 100 times better than him at chess, at all types, all forms, all lifes, well you better get the message. And Joseph loser, do you want to know what's wrong with your opponents trading down into a pawn endgame when they are down a pawn? Well, they are playing you, the biggest loser ever, and instead you play them. It's not fair that you play your opponents, it would be better for our tournaments, our country, and most importantly, me, if your opponents played you and beat you.

Question #17: What time control chess are you best at?

RookSacrifice: I like all time controls lower than 5 minutes and more than Game in 90.

What he meant to say: Yes, that is what I like. But that isn't answering the question! My best time control chess is when I am given time odds, preferably 1 second to 1 hour, with no delay or increment. That is the time control that I am best at.

Question #18: What is your favorite chess variant?

RookSacrifice: My favorite chess variant is Chess 960

What he meant to say: Actually, it's not. 960 different ways for the game isn't good, because I rely heavily on opening prep. My favorite chess variant is Chess 4, because there are only two different possible positions, because only the king and queen can switch places. That way my opening preparation is useful.

Here RookSacrifice didn't realize how I would frame him, and as a result complained:

RookSacrifice: We need more funny questions. 

I hate appeasing RookSacrifice, but if I didn't, then he wouldn't agree to sign the 832 page document which in page 500 gave me to right to do what I am doing write now, saying what he would actually mean to say. So I reluctantly asked what he perceived to be "funny" questions. 

Question #19: What is the meaning of life? and Chess?

RookSacrifice: Look it up in the dictionary.

What he meant to say: The last source that you can trust is the dictionary, and the only source that you can trust, is of course me. The meaning of life is to gain rating, to be a world champion, and to never think about what follows life. The meaning of chess, of course, is the same. To get a good rating and be a world champion. Only a few dozen people in this world of billions have accomplished the meaning of life.

Question #20: What do you hate eating pizza?

RookSacrifice: I like pizza!

What he meant to say: I am a gluten free person, and all pizza has gluten. Also, it has cheese in it, and since I am a vegetarian, I can not eat cheese (it comes from milk, which comes from a cow, and die-hard vegetarians don't support drinking milk. I am die-hard). That makes pizza double evil!

Question #21: Why do you hate drinking steak?

RookSacrifice: I detect cheating.

What he meant to say: As usual, my low attention span allows me to make the craziest and most irrelevant answers. I hate drinking steak because once when I did it I almost choked and died. Since I'm not supposed to die until I complete the meaning of life I do not like drinking steak.

Question #22: What is wrong with cheating?

RookSacrifice: I am bad at it!

What he meant to say: I am a person with no morals. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with cheating. Next question!

Question #23: Is everything that you are bad at not a good thing?

RookSacrifice: Not that

What he meant to say: Once again I don't make any sense. I am good at everything, but I suppose in the unlikely chance that I am bad at something, it must be a bad thing.

Question #24: What is our worst chess book?

RookSacrifice: Some old book.

What he meant to say: My worst chess books are as follows, I will create a long list. I am sorry but I hate a lot of chess books, of the 6849 that I have read, here are the 11 that are tied for last.

How to Reassess your Chess by Silman

The Ideas Behind the Chess Openings by Fine

The Art of the Attack in Chess by Vukovic

Play Winning Chess by Seirawan

My System by Nimzovich

The Complete's Idiot's Guide to Chess by Wolff

How to Beat Your Dad at Chess by Chandler

Logical Chess, Move by Move by Chernev

Chess Openings for White, Explained by GM Dzindzichashvili

The Amateur's Mind by Silman

The Most Instructive Games of Chess Ever Played by Chernev

Question #25: Is it still better than our favorite non-chess book?

RookSacrifice: No

What he meant to say: Yes

Question #26: What is your favorite novel?

RookSacrifice: None

What he meant to say: I have read all the works of Nunn (None), but they are not my favorite novels. Actually though, I have never read a novel, so I can't have a favorite novel. Of course, my reading level is much MUCH better than everyone else.

Question #27: Do you like chess books or normal books more?

RookSacrifice: I like normal chess books.

What he meant to say: Without a doubt chess books. After all, I have read more chess books than normal books by a 10:1 ratio, and they are all much more interesting. The worst chess book is much better than the best "normal" book.

Question #28: Who is your favorite chess author?

RookSacrifice: Books, I like Silman and Avrukh. Articles, I like Joseph_Truelson (Joseph_Truelson: Good)

What he meant to say: My favorite chess author is me, by far. My blogs are the best literature in the world.

Question #29: Who writes the best blogs on chess.com?

RookSacrifice: The He brothers have the best blog.

What he meant to say: How can 2 people have the best blog, if they write them independently of one another? You are assuming that they are the same person! Twinist! In reality, it is, of course (bows) me.

Question #30: What is our favorite chess book?

RookSacrifice: I don't know, it's hard.

What he meant to say: I do know, it's easy (Notice the similarities to the above books-me):

How to Regress your Chess by Sillyman

The Hallucinations Behind the Chess Openings by Not Very Fine

The Art of the Blunder in Chess by Losekovic

Play Losing Chess by Saywhat 

Not My System by Nimblewitch

The Really Complete's Idiot's Guide to Chess by Dog 

How to Beat Your Dog at Chess by Challenger

Illogical Chess, Move by Move by Churnof

Chess Openings for White, Unexplained by GM Unprnounceablevili

The Stoner's Mind by (once-again) Sillyman

The Least Instructive Games of Chess Ever Played by Churnof

Question #31: How good do you hope to get at chess? (Do not say better than me)

RookSacrifice: To be a national master (a Not Master, in other words then)

What he meant to say: I already told you, and why do I have to keep repeating myself: The World Champion! Why else would I be playing chess?!

Question #32: What is your username RookSacrifice if you hate tactics?

RookSacrifice: I don't hate tactics!

What he meant to say: I love tactics! But the stupid and "real" me keeps changing his opinion on whether he hates tactics or not! Crazy!

Question #33: Why don't you like the Seattle Chess Club

RookSacrifice: I like some events, but I like to avoid crowds, and I don't want to play too much.

What he meant to say: Does it involve chess? Then I love the Seattle Chess Club! I love crowds, because then I am the center of attention. Also, I hope that I play too much. Why does the real me keep lying? At least this interview is almost over...

Question #34: Are chess tournaments only fun when I come?

RookSacrifice: The Oregon Open was fun, and you weren't there.

What he meant to say: I hate to admit the truth, but yes, chess tournaments are only fun when you come, dear Joseph. When you didn't come to the Oregon Open, (which by the way was the reason I did so well) I was devastated and had one of the worst times in my life. Please never abandon me like that ever, ever again!

Question #35: How many chess books do you have?

RookSacrifice: Around 30

What he meant to say: I have 1,304 chess books. However, I don't want you to realize that I am really obsessed with chess, so I only say that I have 30, just to make me seem normal.

Question #36: How many questions was this interview so far?

RookSacrifice: Around 20.

What he meant to say: 37. Unfortunately you had to take out one of the questions, how dare you!

Question #37: What blitz time control do you have the best chances against Joseph?

RookSacrifice: We need better questions.

What he meant to say: All of them. I have better chances against him in 4 minutes than 3 minutes, and also in 3 minutes than 4.

Question #38: Why does Joseph have a 142 (now 144) -71 record against you on chess.com?

RookSacrifice: We need better questions.

What he meant to say: Because he cheats. It's as simple as that! He cheated 145 times, and he won 142 times! 3 times I beat his engine because my computer is better than his.

As RookSacrifice said "we need better questions" for two consecutive questions, I decided it was best to end the interview, lest he use his computer hacking skills to force an end to not just the interview, but my computer as well.

So there ends an amazing and enlightening interview with RookSacrifice. Thanks for being part of the interview RookSacrifice, and I hope to play you in the RAR Match later this month, or if we are unlucky, in 2018!