How To Lose At Chess

Welcome To "How To Lose At Chess"

Losing at chess will be quite easy after following this quick and easy tutorial. I am Lobster_Chess4 and I will be taking you through how to lose at chess today. But first of all, About Me; I am a world renown endgame bottler (subject to change) and have lost over 400 rapid elo so far (applause). I enjoy many things including lobster, chess and the number 4. Finally if any of you have watched Wrestlemania over the weekend, remember "Betray Your Friends And Suck Doing So". Now onto the tutorial.

Step One: Whilst Registering for a Chess.com account make sure to say that you're the best even if you deserve to be -22 elo

Step Two: Queue up a 10min game

Step Three: Slowly but surely sacrifice many pieces in honour of Genghis Khan and O.J. Simpson

Step Four: Fire your queen like Alan Sugar

Step Five: Move your king to a corner with none of your pieces within 5 squares and none of them can stop the ensuing checkmate

Step Six: Lose. i.e. get checkmated

Step Seven: Hammer a nail into your screen whilst playing Hammer Time by MC Hammer

Step Eight: Go play golf and slice the ball like Gordan Ramsay