I changed my perspective on chess and now I can't stop winning

The other day I found myself frustrated. I had played 5-6 rapid games (a combination of 10+0 and 15+5) and lost nearly all of them. Despite studying for hours, consuming chess content on YouTube and Chess.com, it felt like my progress was stagnant. I made a comment on my club, Beginners and Masters, stating it felt like I was "platueing"; a dreaded phrase among chess players.

After a particularly upsetting Blitz loss, I closed (read: slammed) my laptop shut and stood up from my desk. Agh! I said, letting out an agonizing groan to my ceiling. It felt like my 100th straight loss of the day. My rating was dropping faster than the stock market.

Then, all of a sudden, I had a weird thought. Screw it! I said, to the ceiling that was definitely not listening. I'm tired of playing scared!

You see, to me, chess is not something I started when I was a little kid. In fact, my first ever chess game was at around 12-years old; a far cry from many who start shortly after they take their first step. Not to mention, despite playing a few fun games with my siblings, I never really played chess until picking it up again in college. By then, I was behind the curve. Everyone I played had such an advanced understanding of openings, tactics, and end-game strategies that I felt lost. I felt like chess was too complicated for someone like me to ever be good at it.

As I played game after game on chess.com, I carried this mindset with me. Each game I felt there was some advanced, "pro" strategy I needed to implement. I watched the chess greats like Hikaru and Magnus Carlsen completely dominant at such a high level. It only cemented what I thought before: chess is hard.

Fast-forward to yesterday, when I slammed my laptop closed and started yelling at my ceiling. I was feeling the full agony of chess.

Then, I had an epiphany. I didn't want to play scared. But what did that mean?

To me, that meant playing chess like a kid again.

When I see young kids playing in the park or at their local chess club, I hardly see them sitting their with their lips parsed or scratching their heads, strategizing, or determining the advantage of a position. Instead, I see them smiling, laughing, and slamming the pieces on the board with glee as they yell out "check!" with a child-like arrogance. The adults on the other side of the room are quiet, lips parsed, and hyper-focused. 

Sure, chess at the high level demands a level of focus and strategy that goes far beyond that of a child-like approach to the game. But I realized what I had been missing was I never approached chess like a kid's game in the first place.

For me, chess has always been complicated. My true introduction to chess was in college, around adults, consuming chess media from adult players like GothamChess analyzing other adult players and grandmasters. To me, chess was an adult's game.

Yet, in reality, chess is a kid's game. And those kids who giggle and slam pieces will often whoop adults who take it so seriously with their books, drills, and coaches. All so effortlessly. Because they are playing to win. The kids are not playing to "gain an advantage", or to implement a certain strategy. The kids play to win. By any means necessary.

After all, chess is a game. Right?! Don't we play chess for fun?!

Yet, after thousands of game, I couldn't really recall a time where I truly had "fun". Instead, the game felt intellectual. Smart. Sharp. Much like studying in college or taking an exam, or engaging in a classroom discussion, chess was an intellectual outlet for me. And that's okay ... chess can be consumed in many different ways that benefit people from all different backgrounds. Yet, I realized I was missing out on the most beautiful aspect of chess: it is a game.

I reopened my computer and started up a blitz game. I decided I was going to play like a kid. Arrogant, perhaps even foolish. I would make moves that I thought a kid would, not an adult player. You attack me? I'm attacking you back! I want to checkmate you! I don't want to draw out some long position from some advanced opening. I want to bring my pieces out and checkmate you, so I can yell "checkmate!" so everyone in the room can hear I WON!

The very next game I played with this mindset resulted in one of the most decisive, overwhelming victories I've ever had in any chess game, let alone blitz. In just 33 moves, I had checkmated my opponent. (I am playing as Black)

Winning such a decisive game after changing my mindset so drastically -- from completely cementing the notion that chess is "intellectual" and "advanced" to believing it to be a kid's game and fully playing like a kid -- inspired me. I didn't bother with theory, or accepted practices. You want to attack me? I'm going to attack you back! Go ahead and take my piece, I'll double my pawns, who cares, I want to checkmate you! I don't want this to go to an end-game! Want to take my piece? I'm going to take yours! During the game, I turned to my girlfriend who was in the kitchen cooking dinner and said: "I feel like a kid again!". I really did. She quipped back: "Well, it is a kid's game, after all." It felt like approaching chess like a kid again made my time in the game timeless; I could, effectively, stop my own aging by playing chess. This was a gift to realize. Okay, sorry to get philosophical.

The race was on. I continued with the next game with the same mindest. Each move I made, I was hesitant to play like a fierce kid with nothing to lose. I wanted to play it safe, I wanted to play it smart. Screw it! I had to tell myself. Attack! Check!

The next game was even better. Beautiful, even. In 28 moves, I had checkmated my opponent in decisive fashion. 

Now, it's important to note checkmating for me is something that ... doesn't really happen all that much. Especially in blitz. I often find myself relying on the time to flag my opponent. Something I'm not proud of, but hey, I'm honest. But here's the thing: With this new mindset, I've started checkmating my opponents constantly. I'd easily say my ability to checkmate has improved by 10, if not more.

I don't post these games to brag about how good of a player I am. After all, I'm just a measly, "advanced-beginner" at the 1100-1200 range. The reason I wanted to post this is to help other player's who may find themselves in my shoes. Frustrated. Feeling like the game of chess isn't for them. Wondering how they're ever going to learn everything they need to learn in order to be a "good" chess player.

I implore you to look inwards at yourself as a child. Perhaps you never had the opportunity to play chess when you were younger, like I didn't. Perhaps you did play as a child, but have forgotten what it's like to play fearlessly, or without that "maturity" we develop as adults. 

I would go as far as to say maturity is poison to a chess player. 

So much media portrays chess players as mature, sharp ... adults. Heck, maybe they are. I don't personally know any chess masters. But, if I really think about it, players like Hikaru or Magnus Carlsen ... they seem like funny, laid back guys. How many videos are there of them on the internet just goofing off, having fun, and playing the game like a kid? Maybe they never lost it. Maybe that is why they are so dang good. Maybe if we all approached chess as a kid's game, rather than some psuedo-intellectual pursuit, we'd not only be better players, but more importantly: we'd enjoy it more!

There is a place for chess theory and study in the game, of course. But maybe first start enjoying the game as a kid would, and you might just find you want to study to get better, to win more rather than to simply "be good". I think that is the secret to good chess.

This game is timeless. It keeps us young. Don't lose that for some artificial number next to your name. It doesn't matter if you're a kid, an adult, or elderly; through chess, we can all stay young.