Doing Questionable Things with Martin
Chess bots have been on chess.com for years. Out of the tens of hundreds of obscure bots like the Xqc bot and the Botez bots, one bot stands out. Its name is Martin. The Bot is very skilled, boasting a sub-300 rating. I knew he would be very challenging, so I decided to have an odds match with Martin.
GAME 1 - 4 Move Checkmate:
After much deliberation (5 minutes) with myself, I decided I should first beat Martin in only four moves. All I had to do was play e5, Bc5, Qf6, and Qf2#, right? Well, it turned out that Martin almost always played Nf3 at some point and stopped my entire idea. I played around 10 games until I finally hit gold.
SUCCESS
This is just the first level though. The 4 move checkmate is just too strong and Martin was obviously going easy on me.
Game 2 - 2 Rooks
After even more thinking in Period 3, as my Spanish teacher was babbling about conjugations, I decided my next challenge would be to beat Martin with only my rooks. Of course, I would have to first play a5 and h5 to be able to move my rooks, but besides that, I would only be able to move my rooks. It took me around 2 attempts to get this gem of a game.
SUCCESS
Ok, I'll confess, I have actually been using anal beads the entire time, with fat fritz as my engine of choice.
Game 3 - Queen
Obviously, after 2 rooks, I would have to use one queen to checkmate the GOAT Martin-BOT. For this, I could only move a pawn once to open up my queen. I hit this first try, so I obviously had the beads at max vibrations.
SUCCESS
Martin is just being so nice! I wonder if he will walk into checkmate again! (a prime example of foreshadowing)
Game 4 - 8 pawns
The rules are simple, you can only move your pawns and you can use the piece it promotes to. Going into this game, I was very scared. This was going to be the biggest game of my career, against one of the biggest men on earth (pause).
SUCCESS
I am quite satisfied with my performance, but Martin was obviously playing fetch with his children who commonly beat him in chess, so it wasn't very significant for me.
Finale - 2 Bishops
The final match against the GOAT himself! The rules for this was that I could on move two pawns once to open up the bishops and the rest of the game would only involve my bishops. This match would decide if I have a PIPI, if I use anal beads, and if my dad will find the milk.
LOST
So uhh... although the server said that I won, everyone knows that I lost since I had to move the pawns a second time. This means that I in fact have no PIPI in my pampers and my dad has yet to find the milk. After the game, Martin decided to send me a very insulting message
. Here's the message:
. Here's the message:Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "a"keras"over"lingas is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Roger Shi ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Martin is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
So yeah... I was very offended by his comments and I am not like a girl crying .
.Final Thoughts
MARTIN IS VERY RUDE!11!
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