End Of An Amazing Week | April 13th, 2025
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End Of An Amazing Week | April 13th, 2025

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I die a little bit inside every time I lose an endgame or go into a tilt. That is completely normal, we all experience some forms of tilt, and we react differently: some rage, some cry, some shrug it off, and some just swallow the pain. But even then, it's really hard to smile when your brain is tilted: it just needs a break.

This is basically what my brain feels after an entire day full of chess. 13 rapid games, 7 wins, 6 losses, 2006 to 2019. I ended the day with three stupid, debatably idiotic losses, where I was completely ran over by a car repeatedly with absolutely no room to breath: I did not gain any significant advantage. It wasn't like the games where I got a significant advantage and choke it all: I didn't even have a chance to begin with.

In the antepenultimate game, my opponent did make a mistake: but nothing particularly bad: no blunders or anything, and I didn't manage to find the correct move. Then, I proceeded to blunder twice in a row, failing to notice the blatantly obvious tactic my opponent could've set, and eventually after they got it, I had no chance of comeback. At this stage, mistakes are very less forgiven, one mistake and you can basically resign.

In the penultimate game, my opponent basically played a flawless game, I mean, when you looked at the eval bar progression, I did not have a single chance of advantage. I quite literally committed seven mistakes in a rapid game: seven mistakes! You would think people in this level blunder thrice, maybe four times at most... but seven times! I did not stood a chance. I was absolutely outprepped playing against the London, I think I should learn something to play against it, perhaps an anti-london like 2.c5.

And finally, the final game... this was probably one of the most hurtful games I've ever played this week. This is the entire reason why I gave myself an endgame study plan, and I was so complaining about endgames, because it's absolutely horrendous. This endgame, I had absolutely no plan, no attack, no fights, no nothing. It was an endgame where I was up two pawns, but I had a rook, my opponent had two minor pieces that are very coordinated, and a very well-protected king: it was a fortress. Let's just say after this my brain was very tilted, and I decided that was probably enough for the day after it coined my three game losing streak.

That's all. Overall I'm super satisfied with how this week turned out: I had way more wins than losses, I got all my stats back to 2000, I had a new blitz peak today (2108), and I really felt like my chess was reassessed. Hopefully, and this is a very ambitious goal, by the end of this month, I will get all my time controls to 2050.

🍮

I call myself a degenerate because well... I am. But at least I know chess, so hey.
I document my chess journey here, in a (hopefully) daily manner. If my diary helps anybody, that's good enough for me.