How to beat GM Magnus Carlson. Complete guide

This is a complete guide of how to beat Gm Magnus Carlson. First, go to your kitchen, then get a cutting board. Then go to where ever you’re meeting Magnus, then make sure you play on a solid wooden board. The cutting board is a backup. Then when you lose to 2400 rated Magnus… fling off all the pieces… and bash him on the head. Not to hard though, unless you want to give him a concussion. There! How to beat Magnus Carlson!