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This place is to discuss/theorize storyline for EVERY SINGLE KOTL. This is also a place to wonder why KOTL storyline exists, because I am 100% sure everybody was drunk while making their stories! CANON IN THE BIG KOTL MULTIVERSE- Kotl: The Original [Vessels: Canon] King of the Ladder: The Flipside [Vessels: Canon] Kind of the Ladder: Season 2, the rise of Harold The Bad KOTL Virtual Reality Battle Arena! [Vessels: Canon] King of the Noobs (King of the Ladder by Nubby)

big head ugly head stupid head big head lettuce head severed head horse head braindead head 5head forehead bald head thank you for coming to my head talk

Rules and Information Rules Dictionary Clubs Team 1 Club Team 2 Club Seasons Season 1

The Thirst Games By: @ChessNerd1320 Prologue It was a solemn day in Paradise, which is rather abnormal for a place that is usually so vibrant and happy. Today was the day of the reaping, where twenty people would be selected for the Thirst Games, an event in which those twenty will fight for their lives. Only one will survive. Now, usually, death is not possible in Paradise, but for the twenty unlucky citizens, that will change. For some, today is a day to rejoice, because they have gotten tired of the same things happening every day in this peaceful place. The Thirst Games provides a look back into what the real world is like, the land of KOTL. Today is not a day of peace, but a day of war. Chapter One - Oof The people of Paradise began the walk over to the city square, where the twenty contestants would be chosen. A young man named Oof, a player from KOTL that was recently killed in "The Bad KOTL" and came to Paradise, was one of them. This would be his first Thirst Games, and he wasn't happy about it. "Knowing my luck, I'll be the first one chosen," Oof thought, sighing loudly. He arrives quickly at the center of Cloud City, where the Mayor will RNG the tributes. There was already a large crowd at the city square, so he had to push his way toward the front. "Out of the way, you dunce!" "Clot, move to the side or I'll gouge out your eyes with a stick." At the front of the square stands the Mayor on a large podium, with a list of names in one hand. "ATTENTION, EVERYONE! QUIET DOWN." The crowd quiets to a hush and looks toward the Mayor, waiting in anticipation. "Today is the day of the 69th Thirst Games. Those of you who are chosen will bring honor to yourselves fighting against the others," the Mayor says. "I will now read out the names of the tributes." Oof starts walking toward the podium, sighing. "Oof. Toxic. Tomato. Pin. CN. Nubby. Type. Quach. Togepi. Auk. Austin. Oka. Eryxc. Felis. Ethan. Hip. Rick. Angel. Jeb. Oromis. That is all." The twenty of them reach the podium, some groaning, some crying, and others smiling wide. The one called 'Tomato' sips tea from a small teacup. Oof just sighs again, knowing that this had been his fate all along. To die in the arena. The Mayor waves her arms and the twenty contestants disappear. Chapter Two - Togepi The twenty tributes materialize on small platforms positioned in a large circle, the same as every year. In the middle of the platforms sits a large, gold goose statue with all sorts of weapons, armor, and survival supplies sitting around it. Above the statue was a hologram with the number '60' shown to everyone. As they watched, it ticked down to 59. Then 58. Togepi looked around, surveying the competition. On his left was Eryxc, someone that Togepi knew would be defeated early on. On the right was a more difficult opponent, Auk. "I should avoid him, he's one of the most dangerous people out here. Maybe I should run away? Depends on what is behind me, I guess," Togepi thinks. Quickly turning around, he sees a forest that encircles this entire area, making it the only place to run other than the statue. The timer ticks down to 20 as all the tributes continue to glance around them. At 10, Togepi made up his mind. He would run for the left toward the forest, getting far away from the others. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... A loud voice cries out from a speaker, "GO! Let the 69th Thirst Games begin!" Togepi darts to the left towards the forest, but Eryxc steps in his way. Togepi groans, "Please step aside, I'd rather not hurt you." "Hurt ME?" Eryxc laughs. "I've been trained in twenty-seven different martial arts, achieving the highest rank in all of them, fought two hundred and thirty martial arts experts and defeated them all, I've saved the world fourteen times with my amazing fighting skills. I can make bombs out of household items, guns out of-" "Shut up." Togepi leans forward and snaps eryxc's neck, then runs off to the forest. Chapter Three - Hip "GO!" Hip, one of the more aggressive tributes for this year's Thirst Games, immediately took off for the statue and the loot surrounding it. Around half of the contestants were charging at the statue, but not all of them would live. After a short run, he reached the statue first and quickly searched for weapons that he could use. "I must find the most obscure and random weapon in this pile," he mutters. "Sword, no. Ax, no. Spear, maybe. Seriously, where are all the pole weapons in this place?" By now, everyone else has reached the statue and most have grabbed some sort of weapon. Hip yelled in frustration, then quickly grabbed a spear. The closest tribute was Toxic, one of the most pacifist tributes there was, and he was facing away from Hip. "The perfect opportunity to show off my skill with pole weapons," Hip thought, with a wide grin on his face. He quietly moved toward Toxic, who grabbed a sword and what looked to be a loaf of bread. Knowing that victory was near, Hip lunged forward, attempting to stab Toxic in the heart after doing a few loops and turns with his spear (to show off his pole weapon skills, obviously). Toxic was caught off guard and couldn't do a thing. He fell to the ground, gasping for breath, but there was nothing he could do to save himself. Breathing quickly, Toxic spoke his final words. "I should've said LFA......." Hip raised his spear in triumph and looked around at the other tributes. "JOIN MY KOTL, OR YOU'RE NEXT!" Most of the tributes nodded, or said, "I will." However, there were two that remained defiant. Ethan and CN. Hip yelled, "So, you have chosen death?" Both Ethan and CN loudly shout and charge toward Hip, swords pointed at his heart. Chapter Four - CN CN runs toward Hip, sword drawn and pointed at his heart. By his side was Ethan, the other player that did not submit to Hip. As they got closer, Hip lunged at Ethan, attempting to stab him in the leg. Ethan quickly stepped to the side, and CN took the opportunity to slice at Hip. "You fools, you can never defeat me and my trusty polearm!" shouts Hip. "Although, I wish I had a better weapon. A bardiche would be nice." Hip raises his arm in the air to block the sword, knowing that his arm is too strong to be damaged by something as measly as a sword! Sadly, this sword was made out of metal, which meant it chopped his arm clean off. CN chuckled and sliced again, this time aiming for the neck. Hip, who looked somewhat worried for the first time, stepped back. "I'll give you one last chance to join my KOTL, otherwise I'll have to kill you." said Hip. CN laughed again and retorted, "You and what army?" He then settled into a fighting stance and ran toward Hip once again. At this point, Ethan had rejoined the fight and was moving toward Hip. Hip, being the great fighter he was, threw his only weapon at Ethan's heart. Surprisingly, this actually caught Ethan off-guard and worked. Ethan fell to the ground as CN unleashed a flurry of slashes at Hip in a fit of rage. "I have one last thing to say to you, Hip. !yfyab." Hip, having no weapon and only one arm, was completely overwhelmed by the attacks. He died a bloody death, and his last words were: "Hey, nice job killing me. I think you're the perfect candidate to join my KOTL. Check it out at MKOTL on the chess.com forums. You heard me, that's MKOTL. We have guns with tons of attachments, all sorts of weapons, and much, much more! Join now at MKOTL." By the time Hip had died, another tribute, HTP, had pulled the spear out of Ethan's heart to use for himself. Ethan held on a bit longer, but also quickly died. Spears to the heart usually do that. Four cannon shots sounded, signaling that there were only 16 contestants left. Only three people were left at the cornucopia, those being CN, HTP, and Quach. They stared each other down, none wanting to be the one to make the first move. Suddenly, CN fell forward onto the ground, an arrow sticking out of the back of his neck. He unleashed a string of curses, including a rant about how LFA was a terrible mechanic before dying. HTP and Quach looked in horror, then looked into the forest to see Auk holding a bow in his hand. Chapter Five - Tomato It was night now, and no more deaths had occurred. Tomato had ran deep into the forest, stumbling upon a large tree that he had quickly climbed up. From the statue, he had only been able to grab a dagger and one bottle of water (reusable, of course). He sipped from the bottle of the water and looked around him. As far as he could see, there was nothing but trees, trees, and look over there! More trees! "I guess I'll stay here for the night. Those fools, those absolute buffoons, they can never find me here!" Tomato thought to himself. At that moment, there was some rustling in the bushes off to the left. He slowly turned toward the bushes but saw nothing. The second he looked away, more rustling. Tomato decided to climb down and investigate, since having a fellow tribute nearby would not be very cool. As he walked over, something darted out of the bush and ran straight at him, yelling something that sounded suspiciously like "HEHE!" Tomato stepped back in surprise, then settled into a fighting stance. The figure ran closer, and at this distance it became apparent that the attacker was none other than Oka. "I've got you now! Hehe!" said Oka, who then tried to decapitate Tomato with a small hand axe. "This is so sad," Tomato whispered as he jumped backward. "You're no match for me, fool." He then rushed forward, pretending to throw his dagger but actually stabbing Oka in the head. Oka attempted to block, but couldn't block the full attack and ended up getting sliced in the face. Looking afraid, Oka dropped his axe and ran off into the forest, away from Tomato. Tomato was about to chase after him, but was startled by a cannon shot. In the sky was the face of eryxc. "What's going on? This isn't normal," muttered Tomato. Another cannon shot sounded, and Toxic's face appeared. Three more cannons fired in quick succession, showing the faces of Hip, Ethan, and CN. The voice that announced the start of the games spoke again. "Five down. Fourteen to go. Only one will stand at the end of the... THIRST GAMES!" Chapter Six - Oka Oka sprinted away from Tomato, his face bleeding from the large cut given to him by Tomato's dagger. After a short while, he slowed down, not hearing any footsteps chasing after him. Looking around him, Oka noticed that he had reached the edge of the forest. In front of him was a small river, with surprisingly still water. Nobody seemed to be in the area, so he walked over to the river. However, before he could reach it, there was a shout from behind him. Oof was sprinting toward him with a shield in one hand and a sword in the other. Oka, who was weaponless, started to run away toward the river, hoping to cross it before Oof could catch him. Sadly, as soon as he reached the river, it started flowing quickly, making it impossible to cross. "There's nowhere to hide, you dunce," Oof said in a very evil tone. "Why would I need to hide from a fool like you? Hehe," retorted Oka. "Well.... YOUR FACE!" Oof walked over to Oka and slashed at his head. Oka swiftly ducked, then tried to kick him in the knee. He blocked with his shield, but was knocked backward. Not wanting to give him a chance to recover, Oka leaped forward and tackled Oof, throwing him to the ground. When they landed, Oka pummeled Oof in the face. "You're done for, weakling. Hehe!" Oof did his best to block all the shots with his shield, but he got hit quite a few times before heaving Oka off of him with his legs. "That was nothing, you clot. I'm not even trying yet," Oof said. Oof threw his sword at Oka's heart, hoping to end the fight right then and there. Oka sidestepped, then ran over to grab the sword. While he was distracted, Oof rammed into Oka with his shield, but that knocked him even closer to the sword. "HAHA! Take that, fool!" Oka grabbed the sword and shakily stood up, then walked over to Oof. "I'm not done yet," whispered Oka. He lunged forward and stabbed Oof in the stomach with all of his might. Oof moved his shield to block the attack, but he was too slow. The sword drove into his stomach, with some very tasty blood and guts flying everywhere. Oof fell backward onto the ground, not moving. "Even with a sword and a shield, you couldn't beat me! Hehe!" yelled Oka, confident in his victory. He turned around and started walking back to the forest, cleaning off the sword. Right before he reached it, Oka felt his neck being snapped from behind. He died on the spot. His last words were, "Hehe!" Oof grabbed his sword back in triumph and walked away, but turned around and said, "You should've aimed for the head." Chapter Seven - Oof 2: electric boogaloo Oof was dying. It was a slow process, but he was definitely dying. The stab wound in his stomach was causing him to bleed everywhere, Oof wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer. He sat down and closed his eyes, content with what he had done. THUMP Cautiously, Oof opened his eyes. In front of him was a bagel attached to a white parachute, presumably sent by a sponsor because of how well he had done. It was probably Squarespace, they love doing stuff like that. Or was it NordVPN? Anyway, Oof grabbed the bagel and whispered, "Could this be... is this a BAGEL OF REJUVENATION?" "Yes, fool, now eat it," said the voices in his head. Oof stuffed the bagel in his mouth and swallowed it whole. Instantly, he felt better than he ever had before. All of his injuries were gone, and at the moment he felt almost... invincible. "YES, FOOLS! I'M STILL ALIVE! YOU CLOTS ARE ALL GONNA DIE PAINFUL DEATHS WHEN I FIND YOU!" shouted Oof to nobody in particular. Oof looked around him, to see if there were any victims nearby. Hmm, some forest over there, more forest, a volcano rising out of the ground, more forest- "Wait... What's that?" "Tributes, if you look to the east, you might notice a volcano rising out of the ground. This volcano is going to KILL most of you, which is very sad," announced that annoying voice that kept speaking. Oof screamed, "HSUDHOUIASYUWIHENWUIODBNOHSD!" Chapter Eight - Quach Quach watched in silence from atop a tree as the volcano rose near the other side of the forest. It was a small volcano, but nothing to be trifled with. "Volcanos, so loud and annoying. I'd prefer something more... subtle, like some acid rain," commented Quach. "This would be the perfect time for a nice, calm game of Gomoku, but that Mayor wouldn't let me bring it. Dreadful person, she is." Almost finished rising, the volcano began to puff out steam, ready to erupt. From his perch in the tree, Quach observed other tributes running away, some yelling, some screaming. He calmly pulled out his bow, then shot three arrows, at Oromis, Austin, and Felis. All three arrows hit their mark, and within a matter of seconds the number of tributes had gone from 14 to 11. In the distance, the volcano spewed lava over the entire area nearby, frying several tributes. Angel, Jeb, and Type were all burnt to a crisp before they could even move. Quach slowly climbed down out of his tree, as lava seeped closer. Thinking to himself, he jogged away from the lava, not seeming to even notice it. "What is this, amateur hour? I would never get caught by something as simple as that. I am an intellectual, at least give me a challenge." The lava seemed to stop in a place after a while, then slowly disappeared. As far as he could tell, nobody else had died. A voice shouted from above him, "In only one hour, six more tributes have been eliminated! How exciting! For all the viewers at home, here are the final eight. Oof. Pin. Auk. Nubby. Tomato. Quach. Togepi. Rick. That's it, folks!" Quach smiled. "Victory is near, and so is my Gomoku set." To be continued

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U0TkJ88f4TFNM1uuEgZrKXLPGoKOqbDDhqi3yq-yJXM/edit?usp=sharing

KOTL Directory Rules | Game Archive | Dictionary | Tricks | Discussion | Advertisements | @HorribleTomato | 6 Based on PPD | Tier List | What is a KOTL? | History | Every KOTL in 1 Sentence | Starting your Own KOTL | @hitthepin | 6 Chess Arenas | Remove LFA | PB: Nubby | @ChessNerd1320 | 2 Addiction | Time Zones | Interviews | @thegreatauk | 3 Anthem | Timeline | @Jebediah_Mushroom | 2 17 threads total Games  FORMAT: Rank (Posts). Thread Name (Posts | MM/DD/YY of Creation) @Creator 1. Kotl: The Original (118.5k | 9/22/18) @HorribleTomato 2. King of the Ladder: The Flipside (15.2k | 3/22/19) @hitthepin 3. The Bad KOTL (13.1k | 4/16/20) @ChessNerd1320 4. Kind of the Ladder: Season 2, the rise of Harold (10.7k | 12/8/18) @rychessmaster1 5. KOTL: the sky battlefield (9.2k | 4/16/20) @toxicnessmain 6. King of the Ladder run by Angel9505 (6.9k | 2/22/19) @Angel9505 7. Virtual Reality Battle Arena! (4.2k | 1/18/19) @HolographWars 8. MOAR 2: Electric boogaloo! (2.9k | 4/6/20) @AustinXJet 9. King Of The Ladder- A Mystic Land (2.7k | 5/14/20) @Jebediah_mushroom 10. KOTL: Music Madness: The Story (2.5k | 2/3/19) @thegreatauk 11. King of the Noobs (King of the Ladder by Nubby) (2.5k | 5/19/20) @NubbyCheeseking 12. KOTL: The Unoriginal (926 | 5/18/20) @MrOOF600 13. The Awesome KOTL (596 | 6/13/20) @rickzhang1977 14. KOTL of Death (481 | 4/13/20) @Chessnerd1320  15. KTOL (420 | 5/23/20) @Lightning148 16. Modern KOTL (412 | 5/5/20) @chessiship 17. extremedragons KOTL (310 | 11/3/19) @ExtremeDragon2 18. The Nerdy KOTL (241 | 5/26/20) @Morgoth6 19. Journey to the West KOTL (228 | 5/22/20) @Chinese_Person 20. King of the Ladder: The Shattered Dimension (by Leo) (209 | 5/19/19) @Hawaiian_King 21. Kotl BUT run by moi! (203 | 12/9/18) @eryxc 22. The Dead KOTL (196 | 6/18/20) @ExtremeDragon2 23. KOTL-Life in a nutshell (158 | 5/6/20) @Jebediah_mushroom 24. Woof's KOTL (143 | 11/11/19) @woofydog105 25. Monarch of a rock (MOAR) (131 | 3/25/19) @AustinXJet 26. KOTL: The Battle Frontier (115 | 6/8/20) @togepi2468 27. KOTL : Yandere Version (109 | 6/11/20) @x_KaraAyaka_x 28. Crazy kotl (102 | 5/19/20) @ExtremeDragon2 29. KOTL: Alliance Edition (59 | 5/19/20) @Felis_Domesticus  30. The stupid KOTL (39 | 4/24/20) @Duolingo_is_under_u 31. KOTL: The Horror (35 | 6/20/20) @Felis_Domesticus 32. †ØXIC BREACH- Game of Toxics and Breaches (32 | 5/26/20) @FIRESTORMTHIEF 33. KOTL: zombie apocolypse, run my mr_alex_pims (22 | 3/6/19) @Mr_Alex_Pims 34. Crazy KOTL V2 (19 | 5/26/20) @ExtremeDragon2 35. Kotl: The Alpha and The Omega (18 | 4/16/20) @Usad_Ormad 36. The oofy kotl (18 | 5/12/20) @MrOOF600 37. KOTL: The Variables (16 | 5/25/20) @MrOOF600 38. Be the last person standing KOTL (16 | 6/4/20) @MrOOF600 39. KOTL A special KOTL (16 | 5/17/20) @The_Chess_Winner_Boy 40. KOTT: the actual (12 | 6/11/20) @tourlDchess10kp 41. the satisfaction kotl (10 | 6/14/20) @tourlDchess10kp 42. KOTL- The KOTL (6 | 6/20/20) @1Nc31-0 43. KOTL:The Island (2 | 6/14/20) @Bangledashcricket [Around 192.6k Posts Total] Related Games FORMAT: Rank (Posts). Thread Name (Posts | MM/DD/YY of creation) @Creator 1. Deathmatch Central (3.2k | 4/15/19) @hitthepin 2. KOTL Battle Royale (2.6k | 1/11/19) @HorribleTomato 3. Murdery Mystery (5+ players) (1.2k | 11/7/18) @aidanB1 4. Love Cookies the game (ONE PLAYER AT A TIME!!) (1.2k | 9/18/18) @eryxc 5. Marvel KOTL Deathmatch (661 | 5/19/19) @balashukla0761 6. The Story of Us (588 | 12/30/18) @hitthepin  7. Multi-Player Love Cookies (294 | 1/2/19) @eryxc 8. MM V something.0 (cluedo version) (205 | 1/12/19) @thegreatauk 9. My KOTL MM (not normal MM) (83 | 2/23/19) @EliteTurtle123 10. KOTL: The PVP Arena (53 | 5/23/20) @MrOOF600 11. Survive the Nights (game by Hitthepin, inspired by FNaF) (17 | 6/14/20) @AustinXJet [Around 10k Posts Total] Special Games FORMAT: Thread Name (MM/DD/YY of creation) @Creator All Stars (5/1/20) @HorribleTomato Survivor (5/21/20) @ChessNerd1320 Gameshow (5/25/20) @HorribleTomato Escape the Night | Season 1 (6/14/20) @NubbyCheeseking Not a KOTL FORMAT: Thread Name (MM/DD/YY of creation) @Creator Murder Mystery Games (6/1/20) @Angel9505 Hunger Games Simulations (5/31/20) @ChessNerd1320 Clubs FORMAT: Rank (Members). Club Name (Members | MM/DD/YY of Creation) @Founder 1. King of the Ladder Official Club (81 | 11/3/18) @HorribleTomato 2. Virtual Reality Battle Arena (24 | 1/26/19) @HolographWars 3. The 'Good' KOTL Club (9 | 4/7/19) @Winston_Weng 4. KOTL run by Angel9505 (9 | 3/30/19) @Angel9505 5. KOTL- King of the Lands (5 | 5/27/20) @FIRESTORMTHIEF Storyline KOTL Storyline | Missing People [I] | Storyline Theorizing 2.0 [I] | Storyline Theorizing [I] @HorribleTomato | @hitthepin | @aidanB1 | @HorribleTomato 4 threads | [I] means inactive Stats+Info Counting only sections that count posts, KOTL has amassed 202.6k posts total. There are 79 threads and 5 clubs listed in the directory. Kotl: The Original makes up around 61.5% of the posts in the games section, even though it's ~3% of the amount of threads. There might be mistakes in this list. Please do your duty to tell me. Creation dates have a 1 day margin of error. Last Updated: 6/14/2020 6:30 AM EST

It's named this so we don't rip off smash bros. Anyways, I guess we're doing this as a side project, so I created a thread in the club for it. FORMAT: Name of Thread [Month/Day/Year] (Comment if Necessary) Characters Character List [5/7/20] Tier List v1 [5/5/20] Rating Rating System [5/7/20] Ratings [5/9/20] Tournaments 1st Ever Tournament [5/6/20] (U | Single Elimination | 8 Players) 1st Ever Championship Tournament [5/15/20] (R | Double Elimination | 16 players) Games To search for a game, go to Opponent Search. chessiship vs ChessPro1233 Game 2 [5/17/20] (R | Unfinished) chessiship vs ChessPro1233 [5/17/20] (R | 1-0) ChessPro1233 vs Typewriter44 [5/13/20] (R | 0-1) okc0 vs ChessPro1233 [5/9/29] (R | 0-1) ChessNerd1320 vs AustinXJet [5/9/20] (R | 1-0) HorribleTomato vs NubbyCheeseking [5/5/20] (U | 0-1 | Start on this thread) hitthepin vs ChessNerd1320 [4/12/20] (U | Unfinished | Start on this thread) U = Unrated, R = Rated

Just... discuss here. About the club, about KOTL, be off topic, whatever. RULES This is KOTL, not a blog for you. Please do not create forums that are not related to KOTL. Threads that cannot be directly related to KOTL will be removed. Do not create forums based on advertising your KOTL. Threads that advertise will be removed. If you want to advertise, make a post on club notes or post it (here). Do not spam or curse. First cases will likely get you muted for a while, with punishments after that rising in severity. KOTL is about fun. To be fun, you need to be fair. Evidence of cheating in a KOTL, such as saying you have alts, will get you banned. TO BECOME A COORDINATOR Participate in KOTL quite a bit Have a 1k+ post KOTL Have a good track record (Lying/cheating/using alt accounts in a harmful manner are examples of a bad track record) Get support from community Get approval from at least 1 admin TO BECOME AN ADMIN Participate in KOTL actively Have a 2k+ post KOTL Have a good track record (Lying/cheating/using alt accounts in a harmful manner are examples of a bad track record) Get support from community Get approval from at least 1 SA TO BECOME A SUPER ADMIN Participate in KOTL very actively Have a 10k+ post KOTL Have a good track record (Lying/cheating/using alt accounts in a harmful manner are examples of a bad track record) Get lots of support from community Get approval from all SAs

Heyo, guys. Sorry I've been absent lately. Life's been a bit crazy, and I've been a bit out of the loop. Anyways, I'm still writing fanfics. Here I go, trying and failing to bring dead things back to life. Please enjoy. Chapter 1 It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming. A young fellow who only went by the name of the “Parkour Master” strolled through a field. Apparently, him and his “universe” had been deemed popular enough to allow him to join the wider “multiverse”. He didn’t even know what a universe was, let alone a multiverse, but he was pretty happy to go to a new place and meet new people, so off he went. Up ahead in the distance was a large, grand white building. He’d been informed that such a building was the place to go, and so the Parkour Master quickened his pace. He entered through the double glass doors, and the wonderful feeling of an air-conditioned room immediately putting him at ease. The inside of the place was well-furnished and had an air of comfort. Like a luxurious hotel lobby, of a sort. There was a large fountain, a chandelier, bright lighting everywhere and couches all over to lounge at. There was also a receptionist’s desk, where a receptionist sat. She grinned upon seeing the Parkour Master walk in. “Welcome! You must be the Parkour Master, sir.” “Yeah… that’s me.” “Wonderful!” the woman gushed. It seemed as though her sole purpose in life was to great people enthusiastically. “And I presume that you’re here for the gathering of all the important people!” The important people? That sounded… well, important, the Parkour Master thought to himself. “Yes, of course. I was directed here. Could you help point me in the right direction?” he asked politely. “That’s my job. I’d assume that your vessel is of the modern stock, and you have no need for food or drink, correct?” “What’s food? And what’s drink?” Such odd-sounding words to the Parkour Master. “I’m very glad to hear that. With that settled, right this way.” The receptionist got up and gestured to the Parkour Master to follow. He’d only taken a few steps before he felt something brush against his ankles. A pit of dread settled in his stomach. He’d heard stories of this, heard stories of a monster too quick to catch. A monster so impossibly powerful and strong that he could kill anyone before they even had a chance to fight back. They called it, “the Goose”. Another strange word. The Parkour Master had laughed at that. He’d never seen the Goose, after all. Nobody he knew had died to this Goose. What did he have to fear from it? But now, it was here. It must be. That was the only thing that could have brushed up against him. The woman’s eyes widened, as though she too realized that something was seriously wrong. The Parkour Master locked eyes with her. Before anyone could do anything about the situation, though, the woman dropped to the floor like a stone. A red line across her neck leaked blood. Two more flashes, and several goose feathers had buried themselves in her chest. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. The Parkour Master had no time to react to this. Before the nausea of seeing such an terrible sight hit him, a blur of white was speeding directly towards his face, screaming something high-pitched and awful. Everything went black. Chapter 2 “Hey. Hey. Wake up.” The Parkour Master had no intention of doing so. He felt awful. He felt like he’d been rolled down a giant mountain. Every part of his body screamed in pain, every nerve felt as though it had been set on fire. “It doesn’t seem like he’s waking up,” a small and more juvenile-sounding voice pointed out. “Thank you, Captain Obvious,” the first voice snarked back. But not in a mean way. More like a fatherly way. “Here, I can handle this.” A gigantic wall of sound suddenly hit the Parkour Master, adding to his pain. And it hit him, hit him with a real, physical force, hitting him so hard that it pushed him back several feet. This was enough to snap him out of it. The Parkour Master cracked open his broken eyes to see the blurry outline of a very odd-looking fellow. He forced his eyes open a little bit more, and forced himself to give this new person a good look. He was still strange-looking, dressed in a ratty flannel shirt and jeans that looked like they’d taken a few scrapes. A bit of stubble crossed the guy’s chin. He looked to be in his 30s or something. “He IS alive! You’re alive!” the man shouted joyously. “Right now, I’m regretting it pretty horribly,” the Parkour Master said, closing his eyes again. “Here. Eat this.” The man pushed something into his hands, and barely able to even comprehend what his limbs were doing, the Parkour Master ate it. Instantly, he felt better, better than he’d ever felt in his entire life. It was as though he had been going through existence in a daze, half-asleep, and only now was he truly awake. He felt like he could run a marathon with a ten-pound weight on his shoulders. The wonderful sensation quickly passed, but the Parkour Master no longer felt like he was on death’s door. He felt healed inside. He looked down at what his hand was holding to see a soft, odd-looking round thing with a hole in the center. “What… is this?” “It’s a bagel. It’s a type of food, which is something you eat.” “Bagel. Food. Eating. What is eating?” The Parkour Master smacked his lips together. His throat felt a little dry. “Well, you should know, my friend. You just did it.” The man looked at the Parkour Master, then turned away, chuckling. “Hey, hey. What’s your name?” “People call me Music Man. That’s the name I was given,” the man replied. The Parkour Master recalled the loud blast of sound that had initially woken him up. “Some music that you’re writing.” “Thank you,” Music Man replied unironically. “So. What am I doing here? Where am I?” The Parkour Master finally looked around, and wasn’t very happy with where he found himself. All around him was snow, ice, and tons of other cold stuff. He wasn’t exactly used to this sort of weather, and he shivered a bit. “Good question. You’re here because you survived the Goose.” Music Man replied gravely. The Parkour Master stood up. “The Goose? So it’s real, then.” “Yes, most certainly. Out of the millions of people who it’s attacked and killed, you’re the only survivor.” Millions. The Parkour Master shook his head. Such a large number. “These are difficult and trying times across the entire multiverse.” Music Man was still talking. “I’m trying to gather a group of people who can stick together and fight against the forces of evil which are besieging us.” “Eh… ok.” This was certainly a strange turn of events, but the Parkour Master did not see any other option except to be swept up in it all. “And who have you gathered thus far?” Music Man pointed, and there was a cute little six-year-old girl, bundled up in winter clothing and making snow angels. “You’re joking.” The Parkour Master remembered the Goose, now. It was a fleeting memory of a fleeting sight, but he still remembered. The legends about the thing were not false. He was helpless against it. And this strange, grungy guy wanted to get a tiny child to fight it. The tiny child in question hopped up out of the snow and happily waved at the Parkour Master. “Hi! I’m Natalie.” “You’re joking,” the Parkour Master repeated again. Music Man shook his head. “I daresay that she could easily kill me in any sort of fight. Don’t underestimate her.” “Are you a friend? I can’t wait to be friends.” The little girl - Natalie - ran up to the Parkour Master and wrapped her arms around one of his legs. His heart melted. He still didn’t have a clue what was going on, but it seemed that love was something that was constant across the multiverse, whatever the heck that thing was. Surely, that counted for something. “Ok. I guess I’ll join you guys, then,” the Parkour Master acquiesced. “Where are we going next?” Music Man looked off into what seemed like a random direction. “We’re going to see, ah, a former employer of mine. He might be able to help us.” Music Man trotted off through the snow, Natalie running quickly on her short legs to keep up with him. “MIGHT be able to help us?” The Parkour Master ran and caught up. “Might?” “Yes. He might help us. He also might stab us, starve us, shoot us, imprison us, torture us, or force us to play chess.” The Parkour Master’s teeth began to chatter, a combination of the cold and the fear. “Let’s go.” The trio marched off through the winter. A fight to save the multiverse was about to begin. Chapter 3 “How far away is your employer?” The Parkour Master had not thought to bring his watch, and it had felt like an age since they’d begun travelling. In all directions, snow, snow, and more snow. It felt like they were not making progress, as though they were walking on a treadmill that was pushing them backwards at the exact rate they were moving forwards. “It shouldn’t be long, now,” Music Man mentioned. “See! Look up ahead.” The Parkour Master did so. The gigantic shadow of a palace loomed before him, slender and elegant. And enormous. And ominous. As they drew closer, the Parkour Master began to pick out more specific details about the place. The color scheme of bright reds and browns and other hues stood out in contrast to the white snow everywhere. It was like a combination between a castle, a palace, and a mansion. All three, rolled into one big thing. And as the party drew closer, it became quite clear just how big the thing actually was. It was another half hour before they finally reached the front gates. Two menacing-looking fellows approached, giant men with giant beards and giant guns to match. Their hard faces contorted into ones of shock and fear upon seeing Music Man. “Ah… sir. Welcome. You, your companions. Please, inside.” Music Man gave them a grateful smile, and in they marched. The place they entered was absolutely enormous. A giant red carpet stretched from one side of the room to the other. The ceiling was so high above that the Parkour Master was confident not even he could reach it. Elegant pillars and architecture abounded everywhere. At the far end of the room, hundreds of feet away sat a man. An ordinary vessel would have no hope of noticing any of his features from such a far distance, but none of the three people observing him were in possession of ordinary vessels. The man was rather old, sitting on his ordinary chair with a stooped and unhealthy posture. His hair, however, had yet to turn grey, and his giant mustache was certainly something to be proud of. His eyes glinted with what seemed to be a combination of both intelligence and killer intent. The man got up out of his seat and began to stride menacingly to the Parkour Master, Natalie, and Music Man. However, he was still that same ridiculous distance away, meaning that it was taking him many minutes to approach the team’s position. “Er, before he reaches us, do you mind telling me some stuff about him?” the Parkour Master whispered to Music Man. He didn’t understand why, but he felt this great need and urge to whisper. “No, I will not. I will allow his identity to remain a secret to you for as long as possible, in order to build up suspense and intensity,” Music Man whispered back. “But wouldn't providing me this information give our group a tactical advantage?” the Parkour Master continued to whisper. “That’s true, but that’s also against common courtesy. Fighting has etiquette, you see, and what you’re suggesting is a severe breach of it. I don’t judge you for it, seeing as you’re new to this, but it’s my obligation to inform you of the rules.” The Parkour Master had no response to this, so they waited as the man approached them. Finally, he got within around twenty feet of them before stopping. His lips curved into a grin that didn’t look friendly. “Welcome! Welcome back, you two. I see that you’ve brought somebody new with you. Does this young fellow have a name?” “I’m the Parkour Master,” said the Parkour Master. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” the mystery man replied, bowing respectfully. “Stalin, we’re here because we need your help,” Music Man interjected. The man, Stalin, shook his head with seeming disgust. “And what, you’ve brought Natalie here to appeal to my humanity? You of all people should know that I have none of that left.” Music Man said nothing, so the Parkour Master said nothing, and Stalin said nothing, and everybody said nothing for a solid ten seconds while tension built in the air. “You should not have come back,” Stalin finally mentioned, a clear undertone of a threat in his voice. “You’re powerful. We need you. So we came here,” Music Man replied. Stalin sighed. “You know the ritual. A fight. Winner takes what they want from the loser.” “Hey, Parkour Master.” Music Man continued staring down Stalin. “You any good in a fight?” “Yes.” “Alright, Stalin.” Out of seemingly nowhere, Music Man pulled out his boom box. “Then let’s dance.” Chapter 4 Music Man swung his boom box towards Stalin and opened fire, letting loose a giant soundwave. Stalin in turn pulled out a golden hammer and sickle and pointed back at Music Man. A large beam of golden light ensued from it. The soundwaves met in the middle with golden light, and it seemed like both were equally powerful. Soundwaves crumpled and light died as both men poured more and more power into their attacks. Suddenly, off to Music Man’s right, something happened. Natalie began floating in the air. The Parkour Master turned. This was certainly an unprecedented development. The Parkour Master knew a thing or two about magic, but this sensation he was experiencing… this was more raw, unfiltered power than Music Man and Stalin combined. A gigantic chestplate suddenly appeared around Natalie. It looked ridiculous and comical, like it was meant for a person three times her height. She literally fit inside of it, for goodness’ sake. The whole rest of a gigantic armor set continued to appear. Gauntlets and gloves, leggings and boots, a gigantic, menacing-looking helmet. By the time the process was complete, Natalie was gone. In her place was a faceless, fifteen-foot tall killing machine, complete with a wicked-looking jumbo-sized chainsaw-like thing. “Ah, there’s the Knight that I know,” Stalin muttered through gritted teeth. The Parkour Master turned back to the scene of the fight and dropped two heavy stone blocks on top of Stalin, things that would have easily crushed every bone in a normal person’s body. The first stone block hit Stalin and instantly shattered into pebbles, followed by the second doing the same. Stalin seemed barely hurt by this. The Knight - for that was what Stalin had called her - pointed the Saw at Stalin and fired one of the weapon’s blades. It screamed towards Stalin, accelerating at a great speed towards his neck. Stalin stopped fighting Music Man and rolled out of the way, dodging both the Saw’s blade and Music Man’s sound attack at the same time. The column of sound continued forward unimpeded, knocking over Stalin’s chair at the far end of the room, while the blade boomeranged around and slotted itself neatly back in the Saw. The Parkour Master made a temporary wall appear, and Stalin rolled directly into it, banging himself up pretty hard. Angered, he threw his sickle in return, forcing the Parkour Master to duck under it. The Knight charged forward at Stalin on the ground. Or, well, tried to. Each one of the Knight’s steps felt like it was taking an aggravatingly long time. Stalin quickly got back on his feet. Music Man blasted a wave of sound towards his ally, propelling the Knight forwards to Stalin at a much faster speed. The Knight raised the Saw over Stalin and brought it down. Stalin made a Saw of his own appear and blocked the Knight’s, Saw on Saw. It was extremely evident, however, that the Knight was stronger. Stalin dropped to one knee, sweating copiously. The Parkour Master ran to one side and made several steel poles appear, attempting to impale Stalin, while Music Man ran to the other side and blasted another wave of sound. Stalin took one hand off of his Saw, brought out his hammer, and slammed it against the ground violently, causing a shockwave to enmate from it. The Parkour Master jumped and summoned a pole out of the ground at the same time, propelling him up high enough in the air to dodge the shockwave. Music Man blasted some sound at the ground, and that apparently had enough force to raise him up into the sky, too. The Knight however, was clearly not mobile enough to dodge this attack and was forced to absorb it, stumbling backwards as several parts of the white armor cracked. Creating several platforms in tandem, the Parkour Master was able to come down from his height easily. He began to simply create large objects and smash them up against Stalin. While they didn’t seem to do much damage, they were certainly enough to prevent him from fighting back. Meanwhile, Music Man was standing off to the side and adding his sound waves in specific locations, assisting the Parkour Master and adding increased force and velocity to his attacks. Stalin barely pulled out his hammer and sickle and waved them in a circle. A giant golden shield appeared around him, and the Parkour Master’s attacks could not penetrate them. The man closed his eyes, pointed his weapons, and blasted a beam at the Parkour Master. This one was red, and it was clearly a lot more powerful. The very foundations of the room trembled and dust from the ceiling hit the floor as Stalin continued to put strength behind his attack. The Parkour Master threw up walls in the way, but the beam blasted right through them. He used his parkour skills to dodge it as best he could, vaulting and diving and leaping and running, but the beam was large and fast. At one point, it barely touched his arm. It hurt as badly as putting bare skin up against an iron, perhaps worse. The skin of his arm turned black and flaked away, and he screamed. He had to scream. Finally, though, Stalin stopped. It seemed as though he had completely exhausted himself with his final attack. Music Man blasted him with sound, and Stalin stood there and took it. The Parkour Master used the last of his strength to stab a tungsten beam straight through Stalin’s heart, and finally the Knight came and brutalized the poor fellow with a direct Saw slash. Stalin flew backwards violently from the attack, having been tossed thirty feet in the air. He hit the ground hard, and did not get back up. Music Man tossed the Parkour Master a bagel without even looking at him before running up to Stalin. The Parkour Master hastily devoured it, and his skin began to sew itself back up. He carefully approached Stalin. Across the way, the Knight’s armor pieces began to vanish again, until it was just cute little Natalie again. “Not… fair…” Stalin muttered to Music Man. “Three against one… never fair.” “You know the rules, and so do I,” Music Man replied. “Now, are you coming with us?” “I don’t have much of a choice, now, do I?” Stalin replied. He smiled a bit. And so, the team picked up another new member. Stalin. The murderous dictator, the chainsaw-wielding boss, the leader of a superpower. When the fate of the multiverse rests on people such as these, there’s a pretty serious problem afoot, that’s for certain. Chapter 5 Fully healed, the team - which now comprised four people - marched through the hallways of Stalin’s Russian palace. “So, where are we off to now?” the Parkour Master questioned. “We’re off to see one of my former associates,” Music Man replied. “He’s got a pretty big brain up there in his head. I’m sure that he’ll be able to assist us.” “You’re SURE.” “Yes. I’m sure.” “So, is he in this palace at the moment or something?” “No.” Stalin cut in. The Parkour Master still wasn’t used to this whole defeat-means-friendship thing, but apparently that was how things worked around here, so he was rolling with it. “The door that we’re going to is a portal that will take us across space and time. It will deliver us to the location of our ally with great speed.” A few more minutes of walking about endless opulent hallways, and the door in question came into view. It was a plain, ordinary-looking thing, much like the numerous other doors that had been passed. Stalin opened the door, revealing a blank, white expanse. He marched through without a fear in the world, with Music Man and Natalie quickly following. The Parkour Master looked at the strange white expanse. Everyone had just vanished the instant they set foot in it. How did he know that this thing wouldn’t just kill him or something? He shook his head, quenched his fears, and stepped through. Out the other end was another generic field. Far off in the distance, what appeared to be a military bunker of some sort stood, grey and dull. Unfortunately for whoever was inside of it, the place was being absolutely besieged by a horde of monstrosities. Four-foot tall humanoids dressed in robes appeared to be punching and kicking the building from all sides, trying to knock it over. One of them was nearby and came charging at the group, giving them a better look at the thing. It truly was a hideous thing. Its head was too big, its features lopsided and asymmetrical. It’s limbs looked far too thin, its body far too fat. The elegant black robe that it wore wasn’t enough to cover all of its deformities. The thing, chanting something unintelligible under its breath, marched up to Stalin and punched at him. Its fist gathered dark energy around it as the blow arced towards the communist. Stalin pulled out his hammer and quickly summoned a golden shield. The punch dissipated against it, and the creature groped its hand in seeming pain. The golden sickle flashed, and the thing’s head fell off. The limp body collapsed to the ground, very clearly dead. “Let me guess. The person we need to talk to is in that building that’s being attacked by hundreds of hostile enemies,” the Parkour Master deadpanned. Stalin laughed. “Do you see how easily I murdered that guy? They’re weak.” “He’s got a point,” Music Man added. Emboldened by this, the Parkour Master charged forth into the battle, and his three companions scrambled to catch up. Before anybody else was even close to them, Music Man pulled out his boom box and fired soundwaves everywhere around the building. Wherever the sound touched, the creatures dropped to the ground, completely incapactied if not outright killed. “You never save any for me,” Natalie whined, tugging on Music Man’s sleeve. “I’m sure there will be plenty more for you later, miss.” The group circled the building to the other side, where an imposing metal door sat. The large, tough-looking one that looked like you couldn’t get through it without driving a tank through it. Music Man grasped the handle of the door, turned it, opened the door, and casually walked inside. The interior of the building proved to be less of a military base and more of a mad scientist’s laboratory. Beakers and test tubes of all different shapes filled with all sorts of substances bubbled and hissed. Bunsen burners burned, pills dissolved in solutions, substances lay bare beneath microscopes. At the center of this whirlwind of action was a rather short, stooped person in a dirty white lab coat. Thick, black glasses adorned his somewhat pudgy face as he muttered to himself, moving about an operating table. Upon the operating table rested a creature, with a whole plethora of scientific tools stabbing it, probing it, and observing it. The hideous thing twitched, shuddered, and screamed, very clearly undergoing torturous pain. “Hello, Doctor!” Music Man cheerfully greeted. The Doctor turned around and adjusted his glasses. “Hello, Music Man. Stalin. Knight. And you’re the Parkour Master, right?” “Er, yes. That’s me.” How did the Doctor know his name? “I’ve got a case file on you, just like I do with everyone,” the Doctor explained. He tapped some sort of device on his wrist, and a hologram filled with information appeared. The Parkour Master spotted a picture of himself in the middle of it all. “I keep track of everybody important across the multiverse. It’s kind of my job.” “Dear Doctor, we need your help,” Music Man requested diplomatically. The Doctor adjusted his glasses again and closed the hologram. “Why do you need me? I gave up fighting a very long time ago. I live for the pursuit of knowledge, now.” “Doctor, it’s more like you need us,” Stalin cut in. “Did you not notice the massive army trying to break in here?” The Doctor blinked in confusion. “No?” “A bunch of those guys,” the Parkour Master mentioned, pointing at the one in question, still writhing on the table. “Ah, yes.” The Doctor examined the thing almost lovingly. “I’ve decided to call them ‘Fins’ based on… well…” “Fin. Fin. Fin.” the thing muttered. “So. Are you coming?” Music Man asked. The Doctor debilitated. “I suppose that it’s been a while since I’ve gone outside. How long has it been, exactly?” “Ages,” Stalin said solemnly. “Ages.” “Alright, fine. You’ve convinced me. I’ll come,” the Doctor finally said. “It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do. But just so you all know: I’m not a fighter any more. Don’t expect me to get my hands dirty.” “We wouldn’t dream of it,” Music Man said sincerely. The Doctor activated another piece of technology on his wrist, creating a portal, and the ever-growing band of people marched through. Chapter 6 “So. Who are we looking to see now?” the Parkour Master questioned. They were back in the cold, harsh winter of Stalin’s Russia, walking in a now-different direction. “Or am I not allowed to know that information?” he added sarcastically. “We’re going to see another old employee of mine,” Stalin flatly replied as everyone continued to march. “She’s a bit… arrogant at times. But she’s powerful. She’ll be a great asset.” “Is there another palace that we’re visiting?” “Not exactly… oh, she must be off in the distance over there.” Indeed, off in the distance, the sounds of what could only be a massive battle could be heard. The battle cry of what sounded like an entire army could be heard from miles off. “We should probably quicken our pace,” the Doctor said. His teeth were chattering together. It was quite evident that he hadn’t signed up for a winter hike. Alas, it was not to be. Twenty cold, shivering minutes later, the group of five finally came upon the battle. An entire army of katana-wielding attackers wearing dark cloaks were apparently charging towards a single person. With a sword as sharp as something sharp and speed faster than something fast, she disarmed, slashed, and stabbed through her opponents, one after the other, without suffering a single scratch. “That’s the person we’re looking for?” the Parkour Master asked. “Yes,” Music Man replied. “I do want to warn you that she’s a bit… difficult. She’s difficult to work with.” “Terrific. Why can’t we ever pick up someone who just works with us?” “Am I a joke to you?” The Doctor appeared to be genuinely sad to hear this statement. “Except for you,” the Parkour Master admitted. “Let’s just get on with this,” Stalin muttered. And so, they did. Music Man made a dramatic entrance by literally using his soundwaves to fly, catapulting onto the battlefield and slamming his boom box into the ground. The ensuing shockwaves sent dozens of foes flying away. The Parkour Master did not have such a dramatic entrance, huffing and puffing as he ran. He summoned a giant stone and smashed it against three enemies. Now fully encased in armor, the Knight pulled out the Saw and started swinging, wading a path through foes. Well-placed katana strikes simply bounced off of armor as the Knight went back and forth, destroying several enemies with each strike. “It’s not as though I needed your help,” the woman said, just loudly enough for the Parkour Master to hear. He instantly understood what Music Man had meant. “Er, who are you?” he asked diplomatically as he summoned a sharpened pole and shish-kebabed four people. “Cookie.” Her katana flashed, and two enemies fell. “You’re stealing my kills.” “Stealing… your…? What?” “I’m offended!” The woman - Cookie - turned to look at him while still decapitating enemies. “I’ve studied the martial arts of every universe at every point in time. My weapon has been powered up by every known way across the multiverse. My vessel is of the highest quality. A standard IQ test once listed me at 552. I’m not even close to using 1% of my power at the moment. Who are you to even stand next to me?” “Er…” “Cookie.” Music Man landed, placing himself in between the poor Parkour Master and Cookie. “Would you mind knocking it off?” “Music Man.” Cookie’s voice was just as filled with disdain and dismissiveness. Was this how she talked to everyone? “I should have known you would be here.” “We’re here because we need your help.” The Parkour Master had no idea how Music Man could be so patient. “Of course you do. But why should I? My power level is far, far higher than yours. The troubles you’re experiencing are irrelevant?” Cookie threw her sword and killed eight attackers before recalling it to her hand. Music Man blasted his music, and a dozen people charging towards him dropped to the ground. “Remember what happened last time we sparred, darling?” Cookie growled. “Fine. Prove your worth. There’s somebody over there.” She pointed her katana off in the distance. At least a thousand more enemies stood between them and the point she was pointing at. “The person in control of all your clones.” The Parkour Master looked, and indeed, the attackers bore an identical resemblance to Cookie herself. “You want us to take them out.” “Why, of course.” The Parkour Master began to head off in that direction. “Don’t worry,” Music Man said. He sounded so relaxed and calm, like he was in gigantic battles every other day. Perhaps he was. “Stalin and the Doctor can likely handle them. And if not, the Knight can provide some backup.” The Parkour Master halted, and summoned a wall. Thirty people sprinted straight into it. “Alright, then.” OOO “I immensely regret this,” Stalin muttered, breaking the skull of a nearby enemy with his hammer. “You regret what, now?” the Doctor said, looking somewhat anxious at all the hostile people about. True to his word, he was doing absolutely nothing to help with the fight. “You know, trying to build an army of Cookie clones. Really, really not a good idea.” The Doctor opened his hologram. “I believe the one controlling all of these clones is right up ahead,” he reported clinically. “It appears to be the Octoling Shopkeeper.” “Really?” Stalin scoffed. “I’ll bet a bottle of vodka and two cigarrettes that she couldn’t even beat you at your weakest.” “You may be right. But something’s definitely wrong. I’m getting dark energy levels off the charts here. Proceed with caution,” the Doctor advised. Stalin rolled his eyes before Sawing off five heads. He marched forward, his boots stomping into the snow as he faced his enemy. The Octoling Shopkeeper most certainly looked… off. Definitely off. Her smile seemed to be stuck on her face. And about three inches to the left of where it should be. One of her legs looked backwards. Her arm seemed to randomly disconnect from her body, only to reconnect. She barely seemed to hang together, glitching all over the place. “Well, that certainly isn’t normal,” Stalin commented. “How do I fix it?” “Conveniently, all you have to do is dish out enough damage. According to what this data is telling me, that’ll bring her back to normal.” “That’s something I’m good at.” Stalin grinned. The Shopkeeper raised her gun and shot a blast of ink at Stalin. However, it seemed to disappear, glitching out of existence before even reaching him. “What? Ha!” Stalin laughed. “Are you serious?” The shot of ink reappeared directly in front of him, giving him no time to react as it splattered all over his face. “What? Gah! Trickery! It’s getting in my moOFa!” The Doctor calmly grabbed a capsule out of his lab coat and tossed it over Stalin. The solution cleansed away the ink until he was back to normal. “You know, I never understood why they never targeted you. You’re so useful,” Stalin commented as soon as his mouth was free of ink. “Well, according to the Geneva Conventions, the targeting of medics on the battlefield is strictly prohibited,” the Doctor replied robotically. “What’s the Geneva Conventions?” “It’s just something that’s partially incorporated into the multiversal ‘code of honor’ system.” “Whatever.” Stalin pulled out his hammer and sickle. The Shopkeeper grinned wider, far too wide, and began to shoot ink in all directions. Each blast disappeared as it went. Stalin summoned a bubble around him, golden energy pulsating and protecting him. He yelled and charged forward. The ink reappeared, all targeted straight towards him. The golden bubble began to weaken, but it did not break as Stalin reached the Octoling and brought his sickle down. She pulled out an inky katana of her own and stopped it in its tracks. Sickle on sword, the two stood in a deadlock as more blasts of ink wore down Stalin’s defenses. Stalin swung his hammer around, attempting to hit the Shopkeeper in the side. She pressed forward with her katana and forced him to stumble backwards, preventing him from this attack. His shield finally broke, and several ink blasts landed on Stalin. He screamed, complained, and swung randomly at the air while the Octoling easily cut him with her katana. The force of the blow was enough to send Stalin pinwheeling backwards into the snow. He landed in it face-first, groaning. The Doctor tossed another cleansing capsule, and the ink washed away. Stalin stood up and pulled his Saw out of hammerspace. Aiming it directly at the Octoling, he fired all of its blades at once. Six enormous, fast projectiles whizzed directly towards her. She calmly pulled out her gun and shot each blade in turn, covering them with ink. By the time they finally reached her, they passed right through, not having any effect at all. Stalin used this opportunity. After she fired the sixth shot, the Shopkeeper was surprised to see Stalin bearing down on her. She had no time to react as he first chopped with his sickle, then slammed down violently with his hammer. The Octoling Shopkeeper stumbled backwards, clearly beaten. Quickly, the various glitched parts of her appearance corrected themselves until she was back to normal. The Cookie Clones, evidently sensing that their leader had been defeated, turned and fled in all directions. Literally hundreds of them were killed by the remaining members of the team as they offered no resistance. “Hey, and that’s how you fight a battle. Ey? Ey?” Stalin put away his weapons and spread his arms out wide to an invisible audience, grinning. The Doctor just sighed as put his face in his hands. This was going to be a long adventure. Chapter 7 “Could you describe exactly what happened, please?” The Octoling Shopkeeper awoke to see the Doctor standing over her, looking at her as though she were a science experiment. She pushed herself up to see a skilled parkourist, a middle-aged person heaving a gigantic boom box, a communist, an energetic six-year-old, and an athletic-looking woman with a wickedly sharp katana all looking back. “What?” “I said, could you describe exactly what happened, please? Your recent behavior of commanding dark armies seems quite out of place for you.” The Octoling pushed herself up out of the snow. “Commanding dark armies? What are you talking about.” “Ah. It seems to be a classical case of plot-induced amnesia intended to build tension. Say no more, darling.” Satisfied, the Doctor brushed off his lab coat. The Parkour Master offered the girl a hand. She accepted it, standing on her own two feet. “Hey, you wanna come with us?” Music Man asked. He made it sound so natural. So friendly. “These are pretty dangerous times for a kid to be wandering around alone.” “I’m not a kid,” the Shopkeeper pouted. “And I was always told not to trust strangers.” “We’ve got candy,” Stalin offered. “It’s OUR candy. If you come with us, you might get to have some of it.” “Ok!” This apparently seemed to convince her, as she became as bouncing, bright, and joyful as Natalie. “That’s the spirit!” Music Man smiled before looking oddly at Stalin, who did not return his gaze. “So, where are we off to now?” the Parkour Master asked. The Doctor used that handy technology on his wrist to summon a portal. “Per Music Man’s recommendation, we’re gathering more allies.” “Tell me why you need so many people, again?” Cookie asked. “Dark times are upon -” “Save me the theatrics. Why do you need all of us?” “Have you heard of the Goose, madam?” This, apparently, was enough to shake Cookie. The woman on the high pedestal turned visibly pale at the mere sound of the name of the demon. “Well- well, of course you’d need me, then.” And there she was, right back to normal again. “None of you would stand a chance against it without the power I bring to the table.” Everyone just ignored her and walked through the Doctor’s portal. “Seriously? As the most powerful one here, I deserve the most respect, and I really think we ought to - screw it.” She followed everyone in, grumbling the whole way. They popped out the other side to see a sizable group of Fins besieging a poor fellow. Toting an ancient sword and a musket that looked like it came from centuries ago, he stabbed and shot his foes in equal measure. The straight-forward tactic of the Fins - charging forward - seemed only to play into this man’s strengths. “Well, he’s fighting our enemies. That means he’s on our side, right?” Stalin put a hand up to his mustache and stroked it cautiously. “Francis Scott Key.” The Doctor had apparently pulled up a case file on him, and was speed-reading information on the hologram. It really did seem like the man knew everyone. “Classic offensive/support hybrid.” “I thought that was supposed to be me,” Music Man mentioned. “You have stronger defensive capabilities, he has stronger support abilities,” “Why are we standing here and talking? Aren’t we supposed to be helping him?” interjected Cookie. The Parkour Master watched the man shoot a musket ball into the head of a Fin, point-blank. “He seems to be doing alright.” A Fin punched Francis from behind, sending the man spinning. “Ok, maybe not. Let’s go.” Cookie ran ahead of the group, faster than any human would be able to. Right next to her was Music Man, ejecting concentrated sound waves behind him which propelled him forward. The attacking speed of Cookie was unprecedented. With a flash of her katana, she managed to cut down three Fins in the blink of an eye. “I have three more than you,” she said smugly. Music Man blasted five foes, shattering their skulls instantly. “And now you’re down by two,” he retorted. “Hey, Francis!” the Parkour Master shouted. “Jump!” Francis did so, and the Parkour Master placed a tall object underneath him. The Fins could not fly, and so none of them could reach him. The Parkour Master created more objects about and quickly parkoured his way up to the top to greet Francis. “Thank you, my boy.” Francis pulled out an American flag out of hammerspace and planted it firmly into the block. “You’re of great help.” In the presence of the flag, the team began to fight harder. It wasn’t a whole lot of time before the last Fin was dead, crushed under the Knight’s boot. The Parkour Master slowly made the object shrink in size, then vanish until he and Francis Scott Key were standing on the same level as everyone else. “Mr. Key!” Music Man set down his boom box and walked towards the man. “It’s a true pleasure to finally meet you.” Francis extended his hand, and Music Man accepted it. “The pleasure is all mine, sir,” Key responded. “The tales of your strength and power were certainly not exaggerations.” “Uh, I killed two more people than he did,” Cookie interjected. “You missed the patch of seven that I took out partway through.” “That’s nonsense. They’d already run into one of the Parkour Master’s attacks. Those don’t count for you.” “Ah, but the three who had been already cut up by the Knight count for you?” Music Man was still warmly shaking Francis’ hand through this exchange, and showed no signs of stopping. “You’re just trying to compensate for the fact that you suck at fighting,” Cookie pouted. “There’s no need to toss insults, madam.” “Ok, ok guys.” The Parkour Master was quite fed up. “We’re already going through enough of a warzone already. We don’t need you two making another one.” “He started it,” Cookie childishly complained under her breath. Music Man finally let go of Francis Scott Key. “Sir, we’d be honored if you joined us. We’re on an adventure to save the multiverse.” “But of course!” Francis replied excitedly, dramatically raising his sword. “I could never shirk my duty and honor. I shall join you promptly!” “Why are you guys so weird?” the Octoling Shopkeeper asked. Stalin pulled out a piece of candy from his pocket and put a finger to his lips, effectively silencing her. “I believe that there’s two other notable entities in this universe that we should seek to align ourselves with,” the Doctor said, still looking at his holographic notes. “Mr. Key, would you know anything about their whereabouts?” “You must be referring to King Harold and Chuck Norriss. Of course I know them! Excellent company, mind you. I’m sure they can assist us. Let us go.” And so, off they went. It would only be a few short minutes until two figures appeared on the horizon. One of them was a tomato with a crown on its head, and the other was an insanely strong, tough-looking human. “King Harold,” the Doctor reported. “Powerful with both ranged and melee attacks. Pretty squishy, though.” “And, of course, Chuck Norris. Very fast, very strong, very tough. Not much else going for him.” “Sir, have any here ever told you how useful you are?” Francis asked. Before the Doctor could proudly reply that yes, someone had said that he was useful before, King Harold and Chuck Norris both stopped dead in their tracks. Protruding from both of their chests were several white goose feathers. The tomato monarch and the unstoppable human both collapsed to the ground on their knees, their eyes blank. Behind them was the goose, a malevolent glare in its eye. “Crap.” Chapter 8 In a blur of white, the goose charged forward, sending dozens of feathers flying towards each member of the party. Just in time, Francis Scott Key managed to slam his American flag into the ground, creating a temporary shield. Stalin added to it, reinforcing the thing with golden light, and Music Man added a protective layer of soundwaves as the Parkour Master threw up several walls. Even still, it was incredibly obvious that this would not be enough. These barricades would crumble within mere seconds. “Quick!” The Doctor passed out a pair of goggles to everybody. “These will help speed up your perception and reflexes to match the Goose. We might stand a chance with them.” “How is a pair of goggles supposed to make me move faster?” Cookie asked suspiciously. “Look, just take them!” the Doctor wailed as the shields shattered. Cookie did not, and thus she got stabbed through with feathers in several places before the Parkour Master threw up a wall to defend her. Stalin and the Knight charged forward and swung dual Saws at the Goose. The beast hopped and dodged around them with incredible leisure before moving and landing hundreds of pecks on the Knight in a single second. This failed. The Knight’s heavy armor held strong even before she even realized what was happening. The Goose ran back over to Stalin, but he had already summoned a shield. Francis Scott Key loaded his musket and fired. The Goose dodged the bullet as though it were moving at a snail’s pace, then ran up to him and pecked. Francis did not react in time as he began to copiously bleed, unconsciously dropping to the ground in mere seconds. Cookie had staggered back to her feet and was shouting something. The Goose threw a feather straight into her mouth, where it came out clean the other side. More blood began to flow as Cookie made a guttural sound of pain. Music Man had summoned a gigantic bullet hell of soundwaves. Sound bounced off of sound, sound looped around in circles, and sound accelerated of its own violation as the grungy man attempted to incapacitate the Goose. The terrible monster was certainly fast, but it was not fast enough. One of Music Man’s giant soundwaves completely engulfed it. Blows like these had been sufficient to kill a dozen Fins, easily. The Goose charged through it and pecked ferociously at Music Man. He desperately blocked with his boom box, but he could not match the speed of the bird as it pecked his neck. Music Man dropped to the floor. The Octoling Shopkeeper nimbly jumped up on top of the Knight and shot ink at the Goose. Her protector swung the Saw back and forth, back and forth, giving no opening. The Goose easily evaded these attacks, occasionally sending back counterattacks of feathers which forced the Knight to awkwardly stumble away. In a completely unprecedented move, the Goose turned and ran directly to the Doctor. He yelped in fear and tried to flee. The Parkour Master created another defensive wall, but the Goose simply ran around it and pecked the poor man until he was down on the ground, not moving. “Hey, wait a second! Aren’t you supposed to not do that sort of thing?” Stalin protested. The Goose responded to this by racing towards the man. However, Stalin was not a person to be caught unprepared. He had a plan. He always had a plan. He put away the heavy Saw, drew his hammer and sickle, and waited. As the Goose began to chip away at his defenses quickly, he slammed his hammer and slashed with his sickle. He moved quickly, almost as quickly as Cookie, creating non-stop shockwaves and a golden death all about him. The Knight marched over and the Shopkeeper shot her goop, but it was too little, too late. The Goose was an absolute savage, jumping, ducking, and weaving past all of Stalin’s attacks perfectly. With a final, triumphant peck, the Goose shattered Stalin’s shield. A few dozen more pecks - which likely took about a millisecond - was all that it took to bring the man down. The Goose seemed to be getting angry. Unbelievably, it was somehow speeding up as it raced over to the Knight through the tiniest of openings. It climbed the armor, knocked the Octoling on top right off, and attempted to peck at her. Unfortunately, he had knocked her right into one of her own puddles of ink, which she quickly used as an escape route. She reappeared twenty feet away in a different puddle, and as the Goose dashed over to her, she dissolved into it and reappeared with yet another. It was quite evident to the poor Shopkeeper that she could not defeat the Goose by herself. It was all she could do to keep disappearing and reappearing in ink piles, barely staying ahead of the foul beast attacking her. She didn’t even have the time to shoot at it. The Knight tried to help, but it was much, much too slow. Eventually, all the ink dried up. The Octoling Shopkeeper tried to dissolve into the only remaining puddle, only to discover that there was nothing left. The goose stabbed her through with feathers, and the Parkour Master could not defend in time. The Shopkeeper fell. The Parkour Master created an enormous, multi-level maze, summoning dozens of platforms to parkour across. The Goose did not care, sprinting up walls and flying through the air, throwing feathers and piercing the poor fellow yet again before pecking him a dozen times. Now, only the Knight was left. The Goose studied the Knight, and the Knight studied the Goose. It was readily apparent to both that the Knight was nowhere near fast enough to catch the Goose. However, the Goose could not seem to penetrate the Knight’s armor. Or so it had seemed. The Goose squawked, aimed its beak at the Knight, and shot forward like a missile. The Knight stumbled away, but it was not enough. The Goose slammed through the Knight’s chestplate and came out clean the other side. The Knight dropped to her knees, not moving. The Goose quickly ran away, and in two-tenths of a second, he was gone. The job was done. Chapter 9 The Parkour Master awoke once again. He’d done this before. The terrible amount of pain was like a familiar friend. “Ugh…” Somebody groaned. The Parkour Master was not alone. He felt a familiar something being pushed into his hand. A bagel. Had this happened before? Moving seemingly of its own violation, the Parkour Master brought it up to his mouth and took a bite. Immediately, he felt reinvigorated. Brought back from death’s door, he jumped to his feet and examined his surroundings. He was in another snowy environment, but it was entirely different from Stalin’s Russia. It felt nice. Peaceful. Inviting. A little trail cut its way through a quaint little forest of pine trees. All around him were the forms of his allies, clearly battered, bruised, and beaten, but not dead. Music Man was slowly going around, feeding each of them those healing bagels. “What… what happened?” the Parkour Master asked. His words were a little slurred. His body might be in perfect condition, but his mind was still working a tad slowly. Music Man simply put a finger to his lips as he bent down to give a bagel to Stalin. “Eh, Music Man? Are you OK?” “Yes, I’m alright.” The Parkour Master could clearly see that the poor fellow was limping heavily, was as pale as a ghost, and barely able to stand. “Dude. Eat one of the bagels for yourself.” Music Man took a tiny nibble of one before continuing to give them to everyone. Once he’d gone around and finally pushed on into Stalin’s hands, he fell to the ground and went straight to sleep. The Doctor stirred. “What… is this hell?” “It doesn’t seem to be so.” Cookie sprang to her feet, slashing her katana through empty air while screaming at the top of her lungs. “Cookie. Could you please calm down?” Music Man mumbled. “What? What is it? What just happened?” Cookie asked. Before anybody could reply, Stalin also jumped to his feet, swinging his sickle in all directions around him while also screaming at the top of his lungs. “Why are you all so weird?” the Octoling Shopkeeper asked. Stalin and Cookie very nearly turned upon each other before both coming to their senses and realizing that nothing was wrong. They both settled down a bit. “Are we… alive?” Natalie asked. “So it would appear,” the Parkour Master replied, patting himself to make sure that he was alive. “But how? How did we survive this?” questioned Stalin. Everybody turned to the Doctor, who was desperately wiping his glasses free of snow. He looked up to see everyone looking at him, then shrugged. “Well, people. What shall we do now? What can we do in the face of this monster?” Francis asked. “You’re all idiots!” Everybody spun around to locate the source of the new voice, only to see nobody at all standing there. Further investigation revealed a small golden flower planted in the ground, a smiling face seemingly drawn on it. “A flower. Really?” Stalin asked. “Yes, really!” the flower said back, causing the man to scream like a frightened girl and jump away. “And that’s FLOWEY the flower to you.” “Flowey. Flowey the flower,” the Doctor reported. “Classical weak ranged attacker with a minor amount of reality warping in base form.” “Weak? Minor? Who do you think you’re talking to?” Flowey screeched. The Doctor continually speed-read his case file on Flowey before responding, “I’m speaking to the weed fleeing from the skeleton.” One of Flowey’s eyes twitched, but that eerie smile never left his face. “I could take him any day of the week!” he shouted, almost as though he was trying to reassure himself. “He’s even more corrupt than usual, need I remind you. Did your fancy little hologram thing tell you that? Huh?” “Yes, it did, actually,” the Doctor replied. “Here, Flowey. We can lend a hand,” Music Man offered diplomatically. “Join us, and we can work together? How’s that sound?” “Why would I work with YOU?!” Flowey shouted. “You’re a bunch of incompetent fools who just plopped down in my universe, and now you want my help? Are you joking? When the Goose comes for you guys again, I’m staying in the ground, you hear?” “Flowey, please-” The flower burrowed his way underground without waiting for Music Man to finish. “Hanging out with you guys is certainly an experience,” the Parkour Master mentioned. “That’s a talking flower,” Stalin panted. “That’s unnatural.” Francis walked up to Stalin and put a friendly hand on his shoulder. “Sir. Stalin. I do have your name correct, right? I apologize if this is anything less than gentle, but I do beg of you to observe the company that you keep.” Cookie stepped forward and opened her mouth - never a good sign. “What’s our next plan of action? Because that Goose thoroughly beat you guys.” “Beat us? I remember you dying first, thanks to your stupidity.” Nobody had ever seen Music Man be anything but calm and patient, but here he was, flying off the handle. “It was a tactical maneuver!” “A tactical maneuver!” Music Man threw his hands into the air. “A tactical maneuver? Are you joking? You’re the least helpful person in this entire group! Why don’t you get out of there and crawl back into the test tube you came from?” “That’s low,” Cookie hissed. “Besides, who made you the leader of this team? Don’t order me around.” “Er.” Music Man and Cookie swung around the Doctor, standing there awkwardly. “I have a plan of action.” The musician and the swordswoman stared each other down for just a few more moments before committing full attention to the Doctor. “It appears as though Flowey won’t be helping us. That leaves exactly one entity of note in this universe who’s capable of helping us.” “That skeleton he referred to, right?” the Parkour Master asked. “That’s correct. Corrupted Sans. Rapid damage-dealer and status effect inflicter. Only issue is that recent reports suggest that he’s been a bit… chaotic, lately. Corrupted. More so than usual, of course.” “So to get him on our side, all we should have to do is whack some sense into him!” Stalin declared. “Just like last time, with the Shopkeeper.” “That’s correct. Here, let me see if this works.” The Doctor’s device sputtered and moaned, but eventually it flared to life, creating another portal. “Let’s go.” Music Man and Cookie both tried to enter first, bumped into each other, and nearly got into a fight before the Parkour Master calmed them both down and entered the portal first. The Doctor entered last, the portal in Snowdin disappeared, and it was off to the next fight. Chapter 10 The Doctor landed on the other side of the portal, the handy plot-necessary device vanishing behind him as he examined his surroundings. The sound of his feet hitting the floor echoed up and down the hallway, bouncing off the walls and pillars. Orange light shone through the windows, casting shadows on the ground where it could not reach. All was still and silent. At peace. As though this room had stood for a thousand years, and would continue to stand there, forever. “This is far too peaceful,” Stalin nearly shouted, shattering the pregnant moment. “I have this terrible feeling,” Francis muttered. “A feeling that something truly repugnant and terrible is about to befall us.” Right as Francis said the word, “befall”, a figure appeared in one of the shadows of the pillars. “Heya.” Everybody turned and looked at the thing. “What a group you are. What a squad. Have you come here to be judged? That’s my job, y’know.” Music Man’s hand trembled as he held his boom box, Cookie held her katana high, Stalin and the Knight had their Saws out, the Shopkeeper and Francis were aiming their guns, and the Parkour Master was about prepared to summon a dozen objects. Yet none of them did a thing. An unbearable amount of tension and power filled the air as the skeleton took his sweet time looking at all of them. “David Harpsch,” Corrupted Sans finally said. Music Man’s eyes widened. “In one alternate universe, you’re a robot. In another, you’re an actual hero. In yet another, you’re dead. Here, you’re a complete nobody. A failure.” “Jennfier Brown.” It was Cookie’s turn to look surprised. “You’re the sad product of a failed experiment. Born of pain to create more of it. Your kill count is in the tens of thousands.” “Joseph Stalin.” Stalin didn’t react. “The father of communism. You betrayed the man you were meant to serve. You committed one of the worst genocides on your own people.” “Natalie Bishop.” No response could be seen from inside the Knight’s mask. “The picture of innocence, turned into a killing machine. Under Stalin, you have killed more by your own hand than anyone else gathered here.” “The squid.” The Octoling Shopkeeper made an unintelligible noise as a reply. “A spin-off idea, coming from a prompt on tumblr. How ridiculous you are. You don’t belong here. You don’t even belong in your own world.” “Francis Scott Key. You defended slavery in courts, and owned them yourself. Would it kill you to know that they don’t even use three-fourths of your beloved anthem?” Francis winced as though he was in actual pain. “Doctor Endino.” The Doctor tore one of his entire fingernails off in anxiety. Another instantly grew in its place. “A drug addict. A quivering coward. And not even the smartest one in the room.” “And you.” Corrupted Sans faced the Parkour Master. “I don’t recognize you. Who are you?” “I’m the Parkour Master,” said the Parkour Master. “Did you ever officially get inducted into the multiverse?” “Er, no, I don’t believe so.” The memory of the receptionist flooded back into his head. He couldn’t save her. How was he so inadequate? “You see, there was this Goose. It kind of disrupted things. If you could-” “Ha. Ha. You’re just as much a fool as your friends,” Corrupted Sans interrupted rudely. “Do you think the Goose is the thing you have to worry about? What do you think corrupted me a second time? Gave me all this power?” Nobody else replied, so the Parkour Master spoke up. His voice was hoarse. “I honestly have no idea what corrupted you even the first time, let alone the second time.” Corrupted Sans shook his head. His skull? “Guilty. The lot of you are guilty. I hereby sentence you to e̷̖̹͓̤͇͇̠̋̏̾̒́̌͛͝ͅx̴̨̺̱͉̦͎͚̼͈̭̭̫̰̖̞̑͆̎͌̐͛͂͂͊̊̕͝͝e̸̗̳̭̰̦̪͔̳͐̈́̕ć̷̨̣͕̗͉͎̝̱̳̱̒̒̎͊̕͜ǘ̴̙̞̩̜̈̂̅t̷̨̧͍͙̭̱͙̬̘͙́̑͒͊͊̽͛́̋͊͒̾̚͜͠i̷̧͍̤̙̊̀̂̍̎o̵̢̨̹͚̟͎̦̯̊̂̀̈́̓n̶̳̆̈̒̓.” Corrupted Sans’ smile seemed to widen. He summoned a wave of sharpened bones, one for each person before throwing them, laughing. Everybody else seemed to react slowly, except for the Parkour Master. He summoned a temporary wall wide enough to cover the entire hallway, and the bones embedded themselves in it, getting stuck. Corrupted Sans summoned a large, corrupted Gasterblaster and fired it, shredding the wall to pieces, but by now everyone had recovered enough to avoid being hit by the attack. Except for the Knight, of course. The energy went straight through the white armor, and the Knight collapsed, turning red. “Ah, that’s his corruption, which accompanies each one of Corrupted Sans’ attacks,” said the Doctor, who had flattened his body against the ground in order to avoid being hit. He adjusted his glasses, which had gone askew when he dropped to the floor. “Eventually, the amount of health the Knight has will ‘enter the negatives’. At this point, she will turn against us.” “Are you sure that you don’t have any more fighting capabilities?” Corrupted Sans had trained a corrupted blaster on him, and he was barely blocking it. “We could certainly use it.” “No,” the Doctor replied unhelpfully. The words the skeleton had spoken were having a very pronounced effect. Everyone was moving slowly and weakly, and therefore there was nobody to help the Knight as she turned completely red. Silently, the Knight pulled out the Saw and slashed into Music Man with one swipe. He screamed as the blade cut through him, and he became corrupted as well. Corrupted Sans continued to laugh ominously as he threw piles of bones at Cookie. She was barely able to deflect the first few with her katana, but a surprise bone protruding from the ground stabbed into her. She gave up the fight as more bones landed, becoming corrupted as well. The Corrupted Music Man and the Corrupted Cookie both turned on the Octoling Shopkeeper. The Parkour Master tried to create objects to defend her, and she even managed to return fire at her foes, but it was no use. One of Music Man’s stray soundwaves hit her, and she fell to the floor as she became corrupted as well. Corrupted Sans laughed and stopped attacking, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He didn’t even look at them, instead choosing to admire the architecture of the walls. The Parkour Master created a long pole and sent it straight towards Corrupted Sans. He moved out of the way at lightning speed, without even having seen the attack. “I perfected that technique from a quirky little species known as ‘Endermen’,” Sans gloated. “Like it?” “Quick! Everyone! Huddle together!” the Parkour Master called out. Francis Scott Key, Stalin, and the Doctor followed his order as all of the corrupted foes attempted to escape the piles of ink the Shopkeeper had left. Corrupted Music Man recovered first and shot a large column of soundwaves at the group. The Parkour Master created a wall to block it, but this version of Music Man felt stronger. A lot stronger. The Parkour Master reinforced the wall, but it felt increasingly like a losing battle. Stalin summoned a wide golden shield, helping the Parkour Master, while Francis Scott Key planted his flag in the ground to create another one. Then Cookie showed up, slashing at the defenses with excessive flair, and then the Knight rose and began slamming the shields with the Saw, and then the Octoling Shopkeeper began to shoot ink and corrode the defenses, and all the while, Corrupted Sans laughed his ugly laugh. “He automatically dodges all ranged attacks with no loss of energy,” the Doctor noted. “To defeat him, he must be hit with a melee attack.” “Thank you kindly, Doctor,” Stalin grunted, sweating copiously from the amount of power he was putting into his shields. The golden defenses flashed yellow. Francis dropped to one knee after a particularly brutal attack from the Knight, barely still keeping a hand on the flag. Corrupted Sans summoned a gigantic blaster, one that covered the entire width of the hallway. The thing opened its maw as energy charged up. There was certainly no blocking or dodging this. Is this the end? Should I just give up? The Parkour Master wasn’t usually one for giving up, but this certainly looked dire. An instant before the Gasterblaster fired, Corrupted Sans stopped. He slid to the side to dodge an unseeable attack, and his blaster only ended up firing into the wall as he turned to face his new opponent. Flowey the Flower was there, staring at him defiantly as he readied another wave of attacks. Before the flower could do anything, Corrupted Sans raised his hand and telekinetically tore him straight out of the ground. Flowey screeched and squealed as his friendliness pellets hit the floor uselessly. The people Sans had corrupted simply watched as though entertained, while Stalin and Francis collapsed to the ground, exhausted. I can’t let him kill Flowey. The Parkour Master summoned a small object, dove forward, sprung up out of it, and landed. Drawing strength from the object, he performed a Parkour Boost, and lunging forward at top speed, he struck the skeleton with his fist. Corrupted Sans made a sound as though he were choking, dropping Flowey and stumbling out of the shadows. Finally, everyone could get a good look at him. He was certainly a sight, to be sure. Not just because of the odd red color scheme that made him look strange, but also due to the fact that he looked sickly. Wrong. His glowing eye flickered unhealthily. His skull was cracked in several impossible places that should have meant it would fall apart. Corrupted Sans fell to the floor. Rather than turning to dust, he began to change, looking less sick and glitched. His eye stabilized and his skull mostly knitted itself back together and he lay there. Music Man, Cookie, the Knight, and the Octoling all began to turn back to normal, released from corruption. It was over, and they were alive. Chapter 11 The Parkour Master, Music Man, the Knight, Stalin, the Doctor, Cookie, Francis Scott Key, the Octoling Shopkeeper, and now Corrupted Sans and Flowey. That made ten. “So, Music Man. What’s our plan of action, now?” the Parkour Master asked. The Doctor cleared his throat. He’d made a synthetic flower pot for Flowey. Healthy soil seemed to have the same effect on him as bagels did on everyone else. “Our dear Doctor will be explaining the plan this time, I believe,” Music Man said humbly. “Indeed I will,” the Doctor said. “We need to stop messing around.” “I’m not messing around!” Cookie interrupted. “While you guys were getting your asses killed, I was-” She was silenced by a bone pressing very gently into the back of her neck. “Shut up,” Corrupted Sans muttered, and so she did, because that’s what you do when a bone is being pressed into your neck. “Ah, Mr. Skeleton, sir. Sans, if I’m not mistaken,” Francis spoke. “There truly isn’t any need for that. We’re all working together here, as friends.” “I’m not your friend,” Corrupted Sans spat. “And just because I’m helping you out doesn’t mean that we’re ‘working together’. I’m only here because I have to be.” “And why do you have to be here, Sans?” the Doctor asked. Corrupted Sans opened his mouth, but no words came forth, so he closed it. “In any case, before you all rudely interrupted me. There’s an… entity that we should meet. He goes by ‘the Principal’, and he’s the most powerful non-deity in all the multiverse.” “Is he a good guy?” the Octoling Shopkeeper asked. “He’s more of a lawful neutral than anything else. He lives to keep order for orders sake. In this case, I’m sure that he would help us.” “So what’s the problem, then?” Flowey screeched. “The problem, Flowey, is that the universe he’s from - the original universe that all of ours stem from - has dark energy levels off the charts. Literally off the charts.” “Really?” Stalin scoffed. “You mean those Fins again? They might as well not even be there, they’re so weak.” “The energy signatures I’m detecting are far stronger than ordinary Fins. We should be cautious,” the Doctor advised. “Don’t worry, Doctor. We can handle the fighting,” the Parkour Master said bravely. “Please, open the portal when you’re ready.” The Doctor did so, and everybody stepped through, ready for whatever was awaiting them. OOO A giant golden palace loomed, far away in the distance. This place felt more vibrant. The colors felt sharper and more vivid, the air more crisp, the bugs nearby more alive. The place felt developed. Fleshed-out, almost, and made with a loving, caring hand. Of course, nobody noticed that, thanks to all of the creatures running around causing havoc. Strange-looking Fins of all shapes and sizes battled against tall, strong warriors in golden armor. “The Royal Army.” The Doctor, usually one prone to robotic, bored tones, held a note of reverence and awe in his voice. “Trained since prior to birth to serve the King of the Ladder themselves. Probably the strongest warriors out there, save for Stalin’s Red Army.” Stalin grinned. Unfortunately, it was abundantly clear that the Royal Army was outnumbered horrendously. Though each man fought valiantly, attacking with sword and spear and bow and axe and rope and gun and chainsaw and bomb and shield and magic and their own bare hands, bringing down hundreds of enemies before they succumbed, it seemed to be a losing battle. The Fins were just that numerous. Each time one was killed, a dozen took its place. A giant Fin standing at least twenty feet high marched over to the group. The titanic monster charged up an attack, a huge cloud of dark energy surrounding its hand as it punched. Its fist was so large that it could certainly hit every member of the party. Stalin threw his sickle into the things heart, and the Fin’s punch stopped as the thing collapsed. Stalin recalled the sickle quickly, bringing the weapon back to his hand. “Ah, I do love me a good fight.” “I’d recommend a dramatic frontal charge,” the Doctor suggested. “We need to get to that palace, after all.” Since everybody trusted the Doctor, everybody went forth. All manner of Fins rose up in attempts to stop them. Three Fins armed with sharp swords waddled forward, and Francis Scott Key rose up to engage them, executing complicated swordplay while also blowing their heads off with his musket. A quartet of Fins toting assault rifles arrived and started blasting. The Octoling Shopkeeper shot ink all over the place and began to play a game of peek-a-boo with them, firing and dodging and firing. A wave of Fins moving at a high speed charged. Flowey grasped them all with vines, freezing them in place and leaving Cookie free to go to work on them. A single flying Fin with a cape dramatically landed in front of the party. Lasers ensued from its eyes at it tried to burn everybody alive. The Knight stepped forward and tanked the hit, the armor creaking and groaning, but still intact. Corrupted Sans grabbed him and slammed him against the ground about twenty times or so, and it stopped being such a bother. The group continued forward, battering away their foes as they went. The entrance to the palace was unguarded, and so the ten adventurers strolled in. The interior of the place looked nearly like the double of Stalin’s. Of course, the place was absolutely filled to brim with gold. Gold walls, gold floors, gold ceiling, golden staircase, golden doors, golden furniture, and a crystal made of… glass. (What? You thought I was going to say gold, didn’t you?) Rather than the simple chair that Stalin had fashioned for himself in his throne room, this one had the most repledesent thing imaginable, covered with gold, gems, jewels, and all manner of expensive artifacts. On it sat a man in a set of gold armor about as large as the Knight’s. Upon their entry, the man got off his throne and began to slowly stride towards them. However, the hall was obviously hundreds of feet long, just like Stalin’s, and the man wasn’t moving at super-speed or anything. “I feel like we’ve done this before,” the Parkour Master whispered. “We have,” Music Man replied. “Hey, Doctor. Can we get some data on this guy?” “The King of the Ladder. Or the King, for short. Obsessed with gold, in case you couldn’t tell. He’s got a hammer like Stalin’s, armor like the Knight’s, and a rather unhelpful ranged attack that’s all his own.” “Etiquette,” Music Man hissed. “The King is not one of our enemies, therefore it is not a breach of etiquette to speak of him,” the Doctor parried. “What about all the other times you-” “Adventurers!” the King bellowed. “State your case.” Music Man stepped forward, clearing his throat. “My noble King,” he began. “We come to you soliciting help. Obviously, the multiverse has fallen into a state of severe disarray and chaos. Me and this company intend to remedy this, and humbly request your assistance.” “What would my assistance entail?” “We require two things. The first is the location of the Principal. The second is any amount of powerful allies that could help us on our odyssey.” The King pursed his lips. “Let’s begin with your second request. Follow me, please.” The King opened up a secret hatch in the ground leading to a dungeon and treaded down it without looking back at the party. Everyone else looked at one another, shrugged, and followed. The sounds of the mad fighting faded away as everyone went way, way deeper down. Eventually, the group made their way to two small cells, where two voices could be heard from inside. “Well, it looks like this is the end. Goodbye, old friend,” the voice from the left cell said. “Hats off to you, comrade. Ha!” the voice from the right cell called out. “What? What is this?” the King said, sounding alarmed. “What’s going on?” “The darkness is coming. I believe you folk standing outside know what I’m talking about?” the voice on the left said. “You’re running out of time,” the one of the right called out in a sing-song voice. “The hat’s about to fall. You can only save one of us. The other’s going straight to a very bad place.” “Ah… ah…” the King said, fumbling with his keys. Chapter 12 Music Man, the Knight, and the Doctor all watched the door on the right anxiously, seeming to know exactly what lay behind it. The King, however, didn’t seem to oblige with what they wanted, finally figuring out the correct key and opening the door on the left. The inside of the cell was much, much larger than it appeared to be on the outside, was dark, and cloaked with all sorts of colorful dark cloth. It almost looked like the inside of a circus tent. Dead center was a man in purple with a jester’s hat, absolutely laughing his head off. The darkness of the room seemed to be attracted to him, literally entering him and causing him to laugh harder. His appearance warped and changed, contorting horribly into that of a monster. “How do we stop this?” the King cried out in anguish. “Hit him a lot,” Stalin suggested. The King went forward and pulled out an enormous hammer not unlike Stalin’s, smashing it against the figure on the ground. Stalin went forward and did the same, and soon everyone was joining in. “Ouch! Ouch! Alright, alright, that’s enough,” the man said, and so everybody stopped beating him up. “Jester! Thank goodness-” the King began. A giant explosion exploded, tearing the cell door off its hinges as a figure strode in. “W… what?” the King spluttered. “I had those doors magically reinforced five hundred times!” “Why did you have those doors magically reinforced five hundred times?” the Octoling Shopkeeper questioned quietly. “None of your defenses could hope to hold me,” the figure spat. The man standing before the group was certainly a sight. He was dressed in an incredibly formal-looking white outfit that, for some reason, was streaked with soot, dirt, and grime. The three white, spiked hats that sat on his head seemed to be glitching out of existence, sometimes there, sometimes not, sometimes floating. His face was twisted in a horrible, terrifying grimace, almost angry. “The Mad Hatter,” Music Man intoned. “The Mad Hatter!” the Knight squeaked. “The Mad Hatter?” the Doctor questioned fearfully. “The Mad Hatter.” the Mad Hatter hatefully confirmed. Despite the fact that the man was going up against twelve people by himself, he did not hesitate. He made spiked hats appear in both hands and began to throw them about like a machine gun, never once stopping or flagging. They began to bounce about the room all over the place, the spikes aimed at the team members. The Knight got his with two dozen of them in an instant, so many that it completely covered them. The spikes did not penetrate the armor deep enough, however, and so the Knight marched forward to the Mad Hatter and swung the Saw. The Mad Hatter agily slid under it before chucking a c4 hat up to the Knight, creating an explosion that knocked the Knight away. Cookie dashed forward quickly, slashing through hats with her katana at lightning speed and charging while everyone else was still occupied. “And now, it’s time for my latest trick!” the Mad Hatter said, emptying his head of hats before placing a pale one with the emblem of a katana on it upon his temples. A katana appeared in his hands, and right as Cookie struck, he blocked. Suddenly, it was him on the aggressive, slashing and stabbing, and Cookie desperately backed away as she parried and dodged. A rouge hat randomly bumped into her ankle, making her stumble, and the Mad Hatter used the opportunity to cut off her legs. She screamed in pain as he chucked three more hats into her, then savagely kicked her aside. In the mouth, of course, shattering a few teeth in the process. The Parkour Master moved forward, summoning several javelin-like objects at once and throwing them at the Mad Hatter. His foe created an enormous hat that blocked them all easily, and the Parkour Master was forced to scramble to the side to dodge the thing. The King began to throw a huge amount of coins at the Mad Hatter. It seemed as though he had an endless supply. The Mad Hatter effortlessly cut through each one like butter with his katana. The Octoling Shopkeeper shot at him with ink. He cut it with his katana. Flowey threw friendliness pellets at him. Somehow, the Mad Hatter cut them with the katana. Francis shot at him. Somehow, the Mad Hatter cut through that with his katana, too. Suddenly, the Mad Hatter took off his current hat and replaced it with a normal one. He rolled to the side, dodging a barrage of attacks as his katana disappeared. Before he came out of it, he threw the hat at Stalin, who was still hammering other hats nearby him. The hat landed on Stalin’s unprotected head, and Stalin suddenly stood rigid while the Mad Hatter disappeared. “Now listen here,” he said in a strange voice not like him. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long, long time. And now, what? You can’t hurt me without hurting your own ally.” “You have to bang him up a bit,” the Doctor suggested. “Just not too much.” “Stalin” growled and raised his hammer at the poor Doctor, but suddenly, there was the King, also raising his hammer and swinging it. The two hammers met in a giant amount of force, creating an expanding shockwave strong enough to even knock the Knight away. Corrupted Sans dodged it and threw some corrupt bones into Stalin’s side. It didn’t seem to do a lot of damage, but it was enough to distract him and let the King slam his hammer into Stalin’s side. The Mad Hatter literally went flying out of Stalin, as the communist sat down hard on the floor, apparently asleep. The insane well-dressed man did not halt for an instant. He placed a yellow construction worker’s hat on his head, and all of a sudden he was creating objects and parkouring about them, all the while throwing hats while staying out of range. The Parkour Master responded in kind, and he and the Mad Hatter met one another at the very top of the room. “Why? Why are you doing this? Why are you hurting us?” the Parkour Master pleaded. “It’s fun! What’s it even matter, anyway. You’re nothing but cheap entertainment.” “What?” The Mad Hatter switched his construction worker’s hat out for a black one with a skull. A skull with a red glowing eye. As the objects he created vanished, he grabbed the Parkour Master telekinetically and slammed him against the wall before teleporting down to the floor safely. A giant, corrupted Gasterblaster appeared in the room, not under the skeleton’s control. He growled and summoned one of his own, but it was too late. The thing was already firing at Stalin. The King stepped forward and summoned a giant coin, larger than even he was in his armor. It held strong under the blast from the beam, not yielding. Corrupted Sans’ beam fired, and it hit the Mad Hatter in the side. He winced in pain and stopped attacking, letting his own blaster die. The hat switched again, changing to become one with Splatoon’s emblem. Ink gun in hand, he began to splash the entire room with a strange, glitched-out ink. The Parkour Master groaned and tried to move out of the way. His bones screamed in pain as they scraped against each other in ways that bones are not supposed to scrape. Something was definitely broken on the inside, and he could do nothing as a tsunami of ink crashed over him. It hurt. It hurt like hell. It felt acidic, burning hot but also icy cold. It practically felt alive, trying to hurt him consciously. He resigned himself to the pain, resigned himself to the fact that he was now out of the fight. The Octoling Shopkeeper, who had used her own ink to deflect her foe’s, spat some at the Mad Hatter, who was still dizzy from spinning around everywhere. It stuck to his feet, and he discovered that he could not escape it by simply pulling his feet out. He growled in frustration. The Jester, who had mostly been standing to the side this entire fight, finally decided to do something, quickly moving up to the Mad Hatter and slashing him with his scythe. The Mad Hatter accepted the hit as he tore him straight out of the goop and lifted him into freedom. So what if he was bleeding, now? He was bleeding, now. “All of that for a drop of blood,” he chuckled, looking at Stalin snoozing, the Parkour Master dying, Cookie still screaming, and the Knight seemingly knocked out from his earlier explosion. “Why don’t you all just give up already?” “**** you,” Corrupted Sans replied. The Mad Hatter began to point with his fingers and wave them around the room. Everywhere he pointed, more hats appeared and began flying about at random, creating chaos. Some of the hats were on fire, and left puddles of lava in their wake. Others were clearly armed with explosives. Still others seemed to make people slow down when they got near them, and yet others were hats that split into more hats. The Jester turned himself into a ten-ton weight to avoid being damaged, while Music Man blasted soundwaves below him, causing him to float in the air above most of the tumult. The Doctor was hanging onto the cloth on the wall, screaming for dear life and crying for his mother, while the King desperately hammered at the attacks that came near, tanking explosions and spikes when need be. The Mad Hatter continued to wave his hands and gathered his hats together, making them form the shape of a hammer so large that it dwarfed Stain’s or the King’s, so large that it practically filled the room. “Saya-nora, old boss,” he said with relish while he smashed it down own Stalin’s still-sleeping form. The King kicked him out of the way and took the attack for himself. Giant explosions recursively set off more explosions, causing pounds of shrapnel to penetrate his armor. A thousand spikes cut into him. All he could see was more and more hats, all he could feel was more and more pain. By the time the last spiked hat had sliced him and moved on, the King was on the ground, not moving. The Mad Hatter laughed at this, apparently finding it hilarious. He summoned still more hats and increased the chaos of the room. This chaos was where the Jester lived. Basically jumping from hat to hat now - the floor was covered with them - he changed his scythe into a Saw and brought it down on the Mad hatter. The Mad Hatter saw this coming a mile away, switched out his hat for a purple Jester’s, and met the Saw with his own scythe. The two stood in a deadlock for about two-tenths of a second before the hat that the Jester was standing on slid away. The Jester tripped and fell over, getting buried in a sea of hats. Music Man’s eyes widened as he surveyed the carnage. His allies were dropping out of the fight left and right. If this kept up, they would lose. For real, this time. Everything that he’d worked forward would perish. He took a deep breath. The technique he was about to use was untested. He’d worked with the Doctor to create it. It was the most powerful attack that he’d ever heard of, so powerful that it might rip him to shreds if he tried it. But he had to tried it. Music Man channeled his power, channeled almost all his strength into the boom box (a small amount of it had to be kept below him to keep flying). He built up more, and more, and even more, so much that he though both he and his boom box were going to explode, and still he built up more, all while the Mad Hatter laughed and randomly threw hats about. Finally, when he felt as though he could not hold it any more, Music Man let forth his attack. The most powerful soundwave he’d ever let loose screamed out of the of the boom box straight into the Mad Hatter, too large for him to possibly dodge. The Mad Hatter placed scores of metal hats in the way. They evaporated within the soundwave. He tried to counter by throwing offensive hats. They fell apart instantly as Music Man threw all of himself into the attack. Eventually, it ended, and the two Quartet members both looked dead on their feet. The Mad Hatter vaguely gestured, and the remaining hats in the room converged upon Music Man, too tired to dodge. Stalin, having finally awoken, marched up to the Mad Hatter and slammed him with a bone-crunching attack. Again, and again, and again, until the darkness had been beaten out of him, until the fight was over. Chapter 13 “Music Man.” The Parkour Master stumbled over to where the man lay, covered in hats. Unfortunately, there was barely even a body left to converse with. His head lay detached from his body, his right arm seemed to be entirely missing, and his boom box had blown apart under the strain of the attack. The Mad Hatter burst into actual tears upon seeing what he had done. The Jester sorrowfully took off his hat and placed it over his heart while the Doctor stepped forward. “He’s dead,” he pronounced. “I can see that!” the Parkour Master shouted, tears stinging at his eyes. Everybody stood respectfully silent over Music Man as the Parkour Master grieved. Even Cookie. Even Corrupted Sans. Sadly, it could not last. “He was a warrior,” the King said. “He deserves a full soldier's funeral. But we must continue with what he would have wanted us to do.” “Where the hell is the Principal guy,” Corrupted Sans muttered. He wiped some sweat off his brow. “You see, that is the problem,” the King admitted. “The Principal has become corrupt. Dark. He’s mad with power. His headquarters are protected by numerous shields and unimaginably vast armies. Not even all twelve of us working together would even get close.” “I have an unimaginably vast army,” Stalin mentioned. “If you’ve got an efficient portal system, I can bring them in.” “I can rally some patriots to the cause,” Francis Scott Key offered. “It would be no trouble for me to summon a joint force, what between my troops and the late King Harold’s.” “With all of us working together, we might stand a chance,” the King said. “But first, we need some rest. The Jester will escort you to your quarters. Stalin, Francis, Doctor, with me. We have a war to fight.” OOO Day became night became day, and the team of twelve - having added the Jester, the Mad Hatter, and the King, but having lost Music Man - gathered together in the King of the Ladder’s throne room. “According to my estimates, the enemy outnumbers our coalition’s forces thirty-two thousand six hundred seventy-eight point six six six seven one to one,” the Doctor reported. “So we cannot let them bring their full might against us. Yet, we must also go on the attack. What a dilemma,” the King said, rubbing his temples. “Fortunately, all of our troops are far superior to theirs in a man-to-man matchup,” Stalin said proudly. “So we are implementing a very straight-forward plan of attack. Literally.” “We shall have our allied armies surround us. Rings upon rings,” Francis intoned. “We will then drive ourselves straight into their forces, moving forward until we reach the Principal. We establish control of the building, then fight to control the doors and bottleneck our foes until we bring him to our side.” “Is this plan clear to everyone?” the King asked. Everyone nodded their heads, some more reluctantly than others. “Then let’s do this.” OOO The King’s Army had driven back the variety of Fins a few miles, giving everyone the space necessary to set up. The dozen fighters had gathered themselves together in a field while the golden army of the King, the frosty Red Army under Stalin, and the rag-tag American patriots with Francis all gathered around. Soon enough, the amount of troops were so numerous that they stretched onto the horizon. Literally miles upon miles of bodies, soldiers all ready to fight to the death. “With all of this, how could we lose?” the Octoling Shopkeeper asked in wonder. Stalin gave her a grave look before continuing to examine his forces. “It’s not enough. It’s still not enough.” Natalie, outside of her armor, went over to the Parkour Master and leaned on him. “I miss him.” Those words broke the Parkour Master’s heart clean in two once again. Music Man was dead. He had ceased living. He had left. What was he even doing? How had he gotten caught up in this? What were these enemies he was fighting? The people all around him almost felt like gods, they were so powerful. Who was he to even be here? “Hey.” The Parkour Master turned to see Cookie of all people approaching him. “What?” “I… I just want to say that I’m sorry.” Now this was certainly strange. Cookie apologizing for anything at all was much out of character for her. “What are you sorry for?” “I was a jerk.” Now this was truly strange. “And now, I’ll never get to make up for it.” The Parkour Master put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re alright, Cookie. You know that?” She returned to him a small smile before the King pulled out a golden bullhorn. “Attention, everyone! We begin our assault in five minutes! Make your final preparations!” The Parkour Master stretched a bit, making sure he was ready. He’d been in some fights before, but certainly nothing compared to this. This was a full-scale war that he was taking part in. Eventually, the time came. Somebody sounded a horn, and then the Parkour Master was sprinting, sprinting to keep up with everyone. The sound of thousands of feet pounding the ground boomed as the armies moved forward. For the first few hours of the journey, not a whole lot seemed to happen, at least from the perspective of the group in the center. Those lucky enough to have extremely long-ranged attacks did their part. The Mad Hatter must have chucked thousands of hats at this point, while the Jester mentally cajoled his scythe this way and that, tearing his way through enemies that nobody could see. Corrupted Sans and Flowey threw some bones and pellets, respectively, but that was mostly it. As the party made it halfway to the Principal, according to Stalin, something seriously bad began to occur. The dark form of Fins could be seen on the horizon, brawling with the soldiers on the outskirts of the formation, pressing in on all sides. “That… is really bad,” the King admitted. “What does that mean?” the Octoling Shopkeeper asked. “If they’re in sight, that means three-quarters of our number has already perished,” Francis said gravely as he loaded his musket and fired. The attack managed to find a mark miles away, causing a single Fin to collapse. With this grave revelation in mind, the group carried forward. They had no choice but to do so, now being surrounded on all sides. The forces of good fought, constantly pushing away the enemy, but it still seemed hopeless. The Fins approached, closer and closer, and not enough progress was being made. Stalin began to fire his beams, the Octoling Shopkeeper shot her ink, and it even got to the point where the Parkour Master could create objects and the Knight was firing sawblades, helping to slow the tide. Finally, finally, the thing that must have been the location of the Principal appeared. It was a simple, storybook school. Two stories, a whole bunch of old windows, architecture that looked kinda old. It was only a mile away now, and getting closer all the time. Unfortunately, what had once been a giant army had now been reduced to a mere one thousand men. One thousand desperate, fighting men, fighting for their lives, fighting for every inch they could muster. It was now the Fins who stretched to the horizon, an endless, undulated mass, the crude but effective war machine taking its toll. Hundreds of men dropped. Losses that could not be recovered from occured, but with the last couple dozen troops, the group reached the front doors of the Principal’s abode. The Knight kicked the entrance open, and everybody quickly filed in, grateful that there was no surprise force of Fins waiting on the other side. It felt like every last one of them across the multiverse had been summoned to attack. “Assemble defensive formation!” the King called out. Stalin’s troops pulled out their heavy-duty shields and stood, three per row, while the remaining members of the King’s army and American patriots threw all the ranged attacks they could muster at the encroaching horde. “Not one step backward,” Stalin growled, and the defensive formation stabilized. They were holding. Breathless at the fact they had gotten this far, everyone finally looked around to examine their surroundings. The halls of this place were pretty bland. To the left, right, and center were hallways leading to… somewhere. Everyone’s attention, though, was on the man standing before them in the center hallway. He was dressed in a sweater and jeans - a lot more casual than what you’d expect from the head of all faculty at a school. He was tall - not tall like the King, tall like a normal human being might be. What didn’t escape notice, though, was the fact that it looked like an axe had went through his head and split it. Dried, crusted blood could be seen around what appeared to be an open wound. The Principal still smiled warmly, despite this, as though there was nothing greater he could be doing. “I’ve been waiting for you all,” he said. “I have so much to say. The hours you took to approach me gave me a very long time to write a speech, you know. *Ahem*.” Before the corrupted Principal could begin with his speech, Corrupted Sans abruptly threw a bone at him, and the fight began early. Chapter 14 The Principal teleported out of the way of the bone, and it harmlessly flew by as it smashed through the door behind him. All the lights in the place suddenly shut off. Stalin summoned some energy to try and light things up, but visibility only extended to about three feet. “Don’t you know that interrupting people is rude?” The Principal’s voice was condescending, as though he were talking to a group of children in trouble, and it seemed to come from every direction at once.” “Stick together!” Cookie called out, and everyone vaguely formed a loose circle. “Well, I’ll have you know that I won’t stand for this! I’ll recite my speech to you anyway,” the Principal declared. “Er, Jester, haven’t you beaten the Principal before?” the Doctor asked hesitantly. “Beat the Principal? Sir, I’m supposed to be the crazy one around here, not you,” the Jester replied. The sound of something charging up could be heard from the right hallway very obviously. A slow, weak-looking energy blast ensued from there, and everyone easily dodged out of the way. “Show yourself, you coward!” Flowey cried out. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about things,” the Principal shouted, apparently beginning his speech. The man suddenly appeared out of nowhere, grinning maniacally like a serial killer as he rapidly threw a punch at the Knight. Before he could, though, Corrupted Sans had telekinetically grabbed him. The skeleton shoved the man into the wall, just in time for the Octoling Shopkeeper to fire an Octoshot and bury him in acidic ink. The mass of liquid did not move. “Did… did we win?” the Parkour Master asked, afraid that he would jinx it. Sure enough, an energy blast fired from the hallway, engulfing everyone in it. The very essence of their beings began to degrade as the beam shredded at who they were. “Scatter!” the King cried out. “I thought that was what we were not instructed to do!” Francis Scott Key cried out, trying to summon a shield with his flag and failing. “We have to play his game,” the Jester said regretfully, stepping out of the beam. “It’s rigged against us, yes, but that’s what we must do.” Everybody ducked out of the way of the beam and was now stumbling about in darkness. Some, like the King and Cookie, had the very faint light of their weapons to go by, but mostly everyone was in trouble. “I’ve been here since the very beginning, let me tell you. Before all the bells and whistles were there, before I was even more than an idea, a concept. I precede the multiverse itself.” The Principal was apparently very intent on delivering his speech. The King ran smack into someone and nearly smashed them with his hammer before hearing the distinct sound of a scythe being drawn and bells ringing. “Jester. Thank goodness I found you,” the King sighed in relief. “You can never get rid of me, Sir King,” the Jester replied. He laughed. The King wished he could laugh. Suddenly, the two of them felt something brush against their ankles. In the darkness, both of their faces contorted into expressions of fear and dread. A pair of screams echoed throughout the darkened schoolhouse, which were very quickly silenced. Cookie sprinted quickly in a random direction, her feet barely even touching the ground as she dashed. She moved forward at great speeds for about two seconds before sensing a wall in front of her and halting quickly. She detected a presence behind her and spun around, holding her katana in a defensive position. It was just as well, for the Goose itself was coming and attacking her with a flap of its wings. Sharpened feathers came out of the darkness, aimed directly at her. With incredible speed and fortitude, Cookie sliced and dodged each projectile perfectly. The Goose itself came her legs, and she vaulted over the beast while slicing down at it. The Goose began to engage in melee combat with her, using its own limbs as weapons as it slashed and stabbed with lightning speed. Cookie sped up her perception and speed to an amount she’d never done before, desperately working to keep the fowl waterfowl at bay. A quick feint from the foe, and Cookie fell for it, blocking an attack that never came. The Goose triumphantly soared forward to peck her into oblivion. A thin stone wall appeared in the way, blocking the attack for just an instant and allowing Cookie to scramble back. The Goose smashed through it, but the Parkour Master was there, summoning more walls and continuously blocking it. “Thanks,” she gasped. “Don’t mention it.” Stalin, the Mad Hatter, and the Doctor all ran smack into each other in the middle of a hallway. Much groaning and rubbing of foreheads ensued. “Hey, Sans. Flowey. Get over here,” the Doctor spoke once he’d recovered. Sure enough, the skeleton was not too far away, holding the potted plant in his phalanges. He teleported his way over to the sound of the voice. “I’ve watched great empires rise and fall,” the Principal continued. “I’ve walked with gods, conversed with eldritch beings in their true form.” “Where the hell is that guy?” Corrupted Sans muttered. “I swear, I’m going to enjoy smashing his head into the ground.” Suddenly, a telekinetic force nearly smashed Sans’ head into the ground. He barely caught it with his power in time before hitting the floor much more gently than he originally would have. The Principal laughed hollowly, charging forward to swing an energy-charged punch. A puddle of ink suddenly surrounded him, the Octoling Shopkeeper shot bringing him to a stop. She swung in and joined the rest of the group. “I kept denying the truth of it. I kept futility trying to keep some semblance of order.” The Principal looked somber. The Shopkeeper gracefully leapt forward and cut the Principal’s head off in one strike with her ink katana. It landed in a corner as his body slumped over. The Principal’s voice was coming from behind them, now. “But I had to face the truth. There was no point. I could never defeat entropy.” A new Principal stepped out of the shadows. “Just look at you all. The very bane of everything I stood for. This is not order, this is not logic. You bring pain and destruction everywhere you go.” A new voice, a new Principal from a new direction. “And I thought I was a jerk sometimes,” Stalin deadpanned. “This is goodbye.” The Principals charged the group. More Principals appeared, firing lasers. The Mad Hatter created many metal hats to block the way while Stalin summoned his shields to block. A giant amount of shrapnel suddenly flew about, and Francis Scott Key strode his way in, adding in his shielding to the defensive efforts. This was very obviously not enough. The defenses fell in two seconds, and the core energy beams engulfed everyone. “And this concludes my speech. Say goodbye.” “How weak is this beam?” Corrupted Sans said, laughing. “It hasn’t even killed me yet.” “It seems as though these attacks work of off proportions rather than raw damage,” the Doctor reported. “After a certain amount of time, anyone in the beam will eventually perish.” “And what’s that time limit?” the Octoling Shopkeeper asked. “According to the intensity we’re being hit with at the moment, I’d say… eight seconds.” Stalin attempted to create another shield, only for it to shatter like glass before it had even formed. “Maddy.” The Doctor turned to where he figured his ally was. “You need to do it. The Principal with the majority of the power is located to your right.” The Mad Hatter took a deep breath before summoning a very special hat. Technically, it was black, but it wasn’t exactly that. It was almost the absence of color, a vacuum organized in the shape of the hat. It’s not like anybody could have seen it, but I, the author, feel obligated to describe it for dramatic effect. The Mad Hatter spun to the left 270 degrees and threw the hat. The death hat disassembled the air molecules that it came across, creating a recursive nuclear explosion each time it did so. Principal clones who got in the way were instantly turned into more fuel to the fire. Beams were fired at it. They had no effect as the hat continued unimpeded on its course. It eventually reached the Principal at the very end of the row, who summoned the entire strength of the Core itself to block it. And block it he did, as the combined energy of every universe and alternate universe was summoned to stop this madness. The hat flopped to the ground and vanished in a poof. Corrupted Sans made a bone pop out of the ground and stab him straight through. Evidently, the Principal was not expecting this as he collapsed to the ground. The darkness faded away and lights came back on to an un-corrupted Principal laying on the ground. “Thanks for that,” he managed to get out. “Here, hold on.” The Principal teleported away in a blink. OOO The Parkour Master and Cookie were losing. They were fighting harder than they’d ever had in their entire lives, and still, they were losing. The Goose was just too strong. The lights abruptly flicked on to the Goose flinging a storm of feathers down the hallway. The Parkour Master summoned an iron wall, but the feathers pierced through and kept going. The Principal suddenly appeared in between the Goose and it’s poor victims, holding up a hand. The feathers all stilled in the air, then dropped to the ground. In the next instant, the Principal was gripping the waterfowl by its long neck threateningly. “I hereby release you from your service. Take your revenge,” the Principal muttered in its ear. The Goose dashed away, leaving the school and leaving everyone be. For now. Chapter 15 September 22, 2018. Location unknown. The Goose popped into existence. The place it found itself in was a strange one. It had an indescribable quality to it, as though reality here was pliable and shifting. There was one constant to this place, though. It felt dark. Horrible, awful, sickening. It felt like death itself resided here. This wasn’t a place for any sort of being at all to exist in. But the Goose was nothing if not powerful. Auras such as these did not bother it as it stepped forward. A tall, shadowed figure stood by itself, facing away from the Goose. It was dressed in an elegant robe not unlike a Fin’s, and it was tall in the sense of a normal human: perhaps a little over six feet. He would’ve been dwarfed standing next to the King or the Knight. “Goose.” The single word spoken reverberated across the plane of reality. Matter and energy shrunk away from it as though it were toxic. “Have you done your job? Are they dead?” The Goose quacked defiantly. The subtitle underneath it popped up, reading, “I’m done working for you.” “Then so. Be. It.” Shockwaves that could have knocked over Stalin’s shields without any effort sped their way to the Goose, who was unaffected. “Your usefulness has run out.” The figure dropped into a fighting stance. The Goose began to flap its wings, floating and flying into the air. Its wings began to spread, the Goose levitating. The Goose grew and grew until its wingspan was twenty feet wide, until it had achieved its final form. Every feather on the Goose came to life, every one becoming a tool, a weapon. Thousands of them pointed to the figure in the cloak, who sat there, patiently waiting. The Goose let go. The thousands of feathers, each which could have sliced through the Knight’s armor, let loose towards the foe. Each time one left, a new one instantly replaced it, each feather firing thousands of times. Millions of feathers per second screamed to the enemy. The Goose did not cease. It kept pounding for minutes, which became hours. Billions of feathers were now scattering the ground, and still, the Goose did not stop, throwing all of its strength into the attack. The shadowy figure did not move, allowing themself to be hit. Eventually, finally, upon the throwing of the 999999999999th feather, the Goose had had enough. It fell to the ground, its power exhausted as it shrunk back into its normal form. The figure stepped out of the haze of the feathers, lightly dusting themself off. The Goose squawked in fear and disbelief. How was this even possible? Nothing could have survived that. Nothing! The figure strode forward and literally crushed helpless Goose underneath its foots, laughing an ugly laugh all the while. OOO “Alright, Principal. What are we meant to do?” the King asked. “The Multiverse is still in chaos, and I’m still detecting all manner of dark energy all about,” the Doctor reported. The Principal sighed. “The Goose sprinted off into another plane of existence, but I’m not sure which one. There’s only two entities I know of who have the power to do everything we’ve seen.” “Well? Who are they?” Flowey screeched. “We have the Mayor governing heaven, and the Devil residing in hell,” the Principal explained. “I just don’t understand. It’s not in either of their nature’s to cause all of this chaos.” “It’s not in the Devil’s nature to cause death and chaos? He’s literally the Devil,” the Parkour Master skeptically questioned. “No, it’s not, as a matter of fact,” the Principal countered. “The Devil does enjoy death, but not on the scale we’ve been seeing. Too much death means not enough living souls to corrupt, meaning there’s not enough potential evil in the world from which he gains power.” “But it has to be one of them,” Stalin mused. “Right?” “It’s the only thing I can think of,” the Principal admitted. “Well, can we get to them?” the Octoling Shopkeeper asked. “I can open a portal to either dimension.” “Well, who do you think it is then, Principal?” the Jester asked. Chapter 16 “We’ll go to talk with the Mayor,” the Principal decided. “Even if it’s not her fault that all this happened, she might be slightly more helpful than the Devil.” “Slightly?” the Parkour Master asked. “Yes. She might also-” “Ok, no. I don’t really want to hear what might happen to us. Let’s just do it.” “As you like it.” The Principal pinwheeled his arms about at random, and a portal appeared. Everyone dutifully filed through. OOO Paradise looked exactly how it sounded: paradise. The ground was literally made of clouds, the sky above an endless expanse of royal blue. Towers of bagels seemed to litter the place at random. The architecture of the buildings in the area looked graceful, elegant, and in some places outright impossible. “We need to go that way,” the Principal said, directing everyone’s attention to a very large, tall building that seemed to be the hub of activity. And so, they went. Citizens of the place cheerfully waved and smiled at them. Corrupted Sans would scowl angrily back at them, but they didn’t seem to mind too much. When the group finally reached the front gates, two towering people stood there at the sliding glass doors, one man and one woman. They were both dressed in armor that seemed to radiate light. “We’ve been expecting you. Enter quickly,” they said in synchronicity. “Take the elevator to the highest floor.” Everyone awkwardly trotted through the doors one by one, some acknowledging the guards, others ignoring them outright. The elevator seemed just spacious enough to give everyone the room that they wanted, and so everyone awkwardly stood about looking at each other for a minute, listening to easy music before the elevator hit the top. A woman dressed in white business attire sat there behind her desk, facing away from the elevator. She looked out the giant window, giving a magnificent view of Paradise. “So. You’ve arrived.” The Mayor dramatically spun about in her chair to face the party. She looked really, really tired. “Madame Mayor. What a pleasure to see you again,” the Principal greeted respectfully. “You can save it, Principal.” There was no malice, no edge to her voice. “We haven’t the time for pleasantries, in any case.” “Is it you?” The Parkour Master couldn’t really believe that the rather sad sight in front of him was capable of causing the destruction of all worlds, but he had to make sure. “No, Parkour Master.” The Mayor did not seem surprised at all by the line of questioning. “Why, it’s only been thanks to my own power that the fabric of all reality hasn’t collapsed. Why do you think I look as though I’ve been on a jaunt through hell?” “Because you’ve been destroying everything?” Corrupted Sans ventured. The Mayor shook her head. “No.” “Well, that confirms it!” the Jester concluded. “If it’s not the Mayor…” “It must the Devil,” the Mad Hatter finished. “So I’ve suspected.” The Mayor turned to look at an old-fashioned red telephone on her desk. “He hasn’t been answering any of my calls. Now that you all are here, it looks like we have to -” The telephone began to ring. Natalie and the Octoling Shopkeeper jumped in fright at the sudden sound before calming down. Tiredly, the Mayor picked it up while everyone watched. “Hey, Mayor.” The Devil’s voice could be heard loud and clear to everyone in the room. He sounded as exhausted as the Mayor looked. “Devil. Did you-” “Hell, no!” The Devil laughed demonically at his pun. “I haven’t caused any of this, trust me. In fact, it’s only been thanks to my own power that the fabric of all reality hasn’t collapsed.” “What happened to the Goose?” “Oh, I know what happened to the Goose. My intel tells me that the Goose is dead.” “The Goose is dead?” the Principal interjected. “Surely, Sir Devil, you’re joking. Or lying.” “None of the above, Principal,” the Devil growled back. “We’re dealing with a monster who’s capable of curb-stomping that ol’ bird.” “What is it?” the Mayor asked. “I dunno. But I can get us there.” “Can you come here, Devil?” “You’re inviting me into Paradise?” The Devil’s tone shifted slightly. One could almost call it “surprised”. The Mayor put down the phone and pointed at a random wall. A door that was literally on fire blazed into existence. The door opened, and in strode the Devil. He was a tall, furry, black creature, clutching a trident in his hand and sporting a malevolent grin on his face. Indeed, though, he was as tired as he’d sounded. Though his smile was spread as wide as it always was, he walked slowly into the room, slumped and leaning on his pitchfork. “Look at us. The two most powerful beings around, brought to their knees.” “Devil. You know what we have to do.” “Yes, I know. Save the multiverse, blah blah blah. Just because I know what we have to do doesn’t mean I’m excited to do it.” “And what about us?” the Mad Hatter asked. “Here, wait,” the Devil said. “There’s a guy in hell who I’m sure would like to meet up with you. He should be coming now.” The door that the Devil walked through opened again, and in walked the familiar grungy fellow, toting his enormous boom box in his hand and a relieved smile on his face. “Music Man!” Natalie cried out cheerfully, running forward and jumping into his waiting arms. “You got sent to hell?” the Parkour Master questioned while the two embraced. “Yes. They needed me for middle-management down there, apparently.” “Ok, that’s enough.” The Devil put a hand over his eyes and looked away. “I can’t stand that stuff.” “Sorry about that earlier,” the Mad Hatter said apologetically. “No hard feelings?” “No hard feelings.” “Alright, folks.” The Mayor clapped her hands together. She looked a little stronger. “Get ready. The true final battle is upon us.” Chapter 17 The Mayor and the Devil certainly knew some tricks, methods of granting power that not even the Principal had heard of. By the time they were through with everybody, each one of them had the equivalent of the power of the Core within them. The Parkour Master summoned a simple platform before him, testing his new strength. The material it was made of was shiny and extremely hard. “Carbon nanotubes,” the Doctor explained, walking over to examine the thing. He was now inside some strange sort of metallic suit. “The strongest non-magical material known to man.” “That’s certainly impressive.” “It certainly is.” The Mad Hatter, the Knight, and Music Man all stood about, seemingly discussing plans with each other, while the King and the Jester did the same. The Principal, meanwhile, was arguing with the Mayor and the Devil. “I am still the strongest of the group. I’ve held this power for the longest. Has it occurred to you that I’m the best asset we have?” he asked. “What are you proposing?” “That I stay behind with you two.” “Absolutely not,” the Devil rejected. “You’re needed on the front lines.” OOOAnd so it would be, that the Principal would join the party. A full set of fourteen people stood, ready to fight. The Mayor and the Devil worked together, summoning a dark, inky portal that looked like it led straight into oblivion and nothingness itself. Its yawning opening looked like it was trying to swallow everyone whole. Each and every single person stepped through it without a moment’s hesitation, their determination to save everything far outstripping any trace of fear they might have had. The other side of the portal was an extremely dark place. Extremely. Nothing at all could be seen. The Doctor turned on a high-powered flashlight. The light from it seemed to die two feet away. Nothing could be seen or heard. More portals opened behind the party, and out from them came the reinforcements. Angels dressed in shining armor stood next to snarling, burning demons. All the supernatural light that the armies of heaven and hell brought with them illuminated the place. Rather than the Fins that were to be expected, the party was met with quite a different sight. Themselves. Endless dark, corrupted copies of each character stretched onto seeming forever. All of them stood, facing the coalition of good with a death stare, not moving a muscle. “Oh… my…” the Octoling Shopkeeper whimpered. “Not to worry, these are only slightly buffed versions of each of us at base,” the Doctor said. His normally clinical voice wobbled slightly. “We are far stronger than they are.” “What is it they say here?” the Mad Hatter asked, still grinning cheerfully. “Avengers, assemble?” “Come at me, bro.” the Jester offered. “Burn in hell,” Corrupted Sans growled. Apparently annoyed by this, the corrupted army charged forward like a dark tidal wave. Millions of powered-up enemies silently crashed upon the fourteen. The Parkour Master ran forward, leading the charge, the rest of his allies following behind. Now this: this was the final battle. The Parkour Master sent a punch straight through the nearest foe, a corrupted version of Stalin. He collapsed to the ground, killed it in one hit. The Parkour Master parkoured over six shots from an enemy Octoling Shopkeeper, summoned a wall to block the musket fire of an attacking Francis Scott Key, and stabbed a pole through two Cookies and a Sans before they had any time to react. All the while, his friends were there, backing him up. The Knight was apparently surfing a wide hat tossed by the Mad Hatter, which did not buckle under the weight. Music Man hurriedly ran about, using his soundwaves to direct the Knight this way and that into enemies. Meanwhile, the King and the Jester fought back to back. The King swung his hammer this way and that, somehow causing coins to appear everywhere and disrupt foes, while the Jester laughed while somehow controlling twenty-eight Jester’s Scythes at once. Any time a ranged attack looked like it was going to hit them, the Principal was there, blocking it with Core Energy and counterattacking faster than the eye could see. This absurd amount of fighting continued. For each enemy that fell, hundreds more seemed to rise up to take its place. The first day of fighting ended, followed by a second, although there was no sun, and therefore no way to tell that this had happened. The sheer amount of killing and gore that was taking place would be sufficient to make any normal person clinically insane. But, of course, nobody present was a normal person. It seemed as though the Mayor and the Devil had done something to their minds in addition to amplifying their abilities. Every last one of them was an unstoppable killing machine, never allowing a single foe to hit them with a single attack. So, too, did the third and the fourth day conclude. On the dawn of the fifth day, the group drew near to a wide-open spot in the midst of the dark army. “What could that be?” Francis Scott Key asked, stabbing his American flag through an evil copy of himself. “My dark energy reader just short-circuited,” the Doctor reported. “The villain - they’re in there, in that circle.” Another hour of harsh fighting, and the fourteen made it into the center, into the eye of the hurricane. What lay before them was quite the sight. What appeared to be a six-foot-tall Fin was there, cloaked in its dark cloak. Archangels and demon lords charged at him with reckless abandon, but the figure did not allow them to land a single hit, dispatching them with magic-charged melee attacks so gracefully it appeared to be choreographed to showcase its skill. A dozen cherubim and false prophets attacked at the same time. The figure simply stood there, and suddenly they all collapsed, their attacks dissipating. The figure turned. The hood of the cloak obscured its face in shadow. “So.” The two-letter word carried enough force to push everyone back a dozen feet. “You finally came.” “What… are you?” the Doctor asked, almost out of wonder. The thing opened its cloak and pulled out the corpse of the Goose. “How about a duck hunter?” “Like, what’s your name, man?” Music Man asked. The figure drew itself up to full height. “My name is Finis. And now, I’m here to be your end.” “What the hell kind of name is that?” Corrupted Sans asked, preventing the dramatic end of the chapter. “Shut up,” Finis replied. “Let me get on with the crushing of you all.” “Bring it.”

If you have any ideas for Tricks, post them here and I might add them into the game! Tricks that passively boost you do NOT stack if you wear multiple. -TRICKERY TRICKS- Vessel Swap- Swaps places with any living player on the map. You and your chosen person retain all your stats/items. Always switches with actual player, even if tag is invisible. 1 use. Decoy Deploy- Deploys a fake clone of you. Weak in combat and has fake copies of items you have, but can't pick up/use items. Clone can switch identity with Masks. 1 use. Item Illusion- Creates a fake item anywhere on the map. The user can pretend to use these items, but if they touch an enemy the illusion dissipates. 3 uses. Invisibility Bubble- Turns you invisible/visible at will. Pops permanently once bubble is touched by anything, including person using bubble. People sense you when you're nearby. Liar's Mask- Can change your name to any player/hide your name. Protects face. Fake Danger- Summons a fake projectile to attack somebody. 5 uses. -WEAPON TRICKS- If a weapon trick is mimicked, it acts like its normal counterpart. Jester's Scythe- Scythe. Can mimic weapons you currently see. Travels back to you. Projectiles fired can't be grabbed. Breaks after too many usages. Life Leech Bow- Bow w/ 5 shots that recharge over time. Any person hit weakens and you heal+get stronger. Effects lessen over time and refresh instead of stack. Backstabber- Dagger that instant kills (even if invincible, has tough armor, etc.) if you stab their back. Unbreakable. Extending Spear- Spear that increases/decreases size at will. Unbreakable. Slammer Sledgehammer- Sledgehammer that sends shockwaves out whenever it hits something. Breaks after too many usages. Wind Staff- When staff is spun, it creates a gust of wind that blows projectiles/items away. Breaks after too many usages. -ATTACKING TRICKS- Power Totem- Immediately upgrades a non trick weapon for a short period of time. Boosted item looks normal. If a Jester's Scythe copies a boosted item, their item will be normal. 1 use. Horrible Tomato- Greatly boosts strength for a period of time. 1 use. Berserker Helmet- Consecutive hits become stronger. Hitting enemy items/weapons charges the BH, just not as much as a direct hit. Rage Bandana- Your strength/speed is boosted the more hurt you are. Striker Locket- You deal more damage to healthier people/objects with more durability. Hunter Boots- Speed greatly boosted when chasing a player. -SURVIVAL TRICKS- All Seeing Eye- You see everything around you, can be turned on/off. People know you have the All Seeing Eye if it's on. Breaks when you take damage/it's used too long. Cloud Cartridge- Creates a hard to see through cloud. User can see through the cloud/hide identity when in it. Throwable. 1 use. Time Freeze- Everybody in the radius goes FIT for a short period of time. They go unFIT if interacted with. User won't be frozen. Throwable. 1 use. Peace Blast- Everybody near user deals no damage for a period of time, including user. Effect wears off if a player is attacked w/ an attack that damages. Invincibility Vial- You are invincible for a short time, or until you interact with a player. 1 use. Runner's Shoes- You move much faster when running away from people. -HEALING/PROTECTIVE TRICKS- Force Shield- Protects you from attacks. Turned on/off at will. Depletes over time and can be broken with enough damage. Never repairs damage it takes. Bouncy Shield- Anything that hits this shield (items, projectiles, will bounce back to where it came from. Breaks if hit too much. Last Stand- Killing blow does no damage and offers a short invincibility timer which ends if you interact with another player. One 1. Regenerative Bracelet- Heals health over time. Bagel of Rejuvenation- Eating fully heals you. One 1. Mutual Mending Charm- You and any player close to you but not hostile will heal up over time. This healing effect increases for every non hostile player near you. -TRANSPORTATION TRICKS- Speed Pepper- Greatly boosts strength for a period of time. 1 use. Warp Orb- Throw this item to teleport wherever it lands. 1 use. Slip Away- Teleport from a location where you aren't seen to a location where you also aren't seen instantly. 1 use. Double Jump- Allows you to jump twice. Can be used consecutively. 8 uses. Instant Dash- Teleports you forward a short distance. Can be used consecutively. 2 uses. Shockwave Bomb- Bomb that sticks onto surfaces and has a short timer. Sends a powerful impulse in all directions, launching items/players away. Immunity while in the air/landing.

FIT- Frozen in Time- When you're offline, in live, or just not posting. This is when you're fighting/interacting with another player and you must go offline, so you get time to respond. You do not have to say you are FIT, it happens automatically. LFA- Look for Attacks- Look around to see if anybody is attacking you. Doing this makes you slower. Doing this in a fight makes your attacks less accurate/less powerful. LFAAU- Look for Attacks and Up- LFA, but it also involves looking up. Has the negatives of LFA but even more negative. CJD- Can't Jump/Duck- Too low to duck, too high to jump. A specification which makes attacks that can't be ducked or jumped over. Every other method still works, though. WFM- Wait for Mod- Wait for the mod's judgement. You can replace the M in wait for mod with the start of the mod's name (WFT- Wait for tomato, WFP- Wait for pin). MRA- Most recent action- When my response gets buried under other posts, I repost the action so you don't have to look for it. You can ask for MRA on certain players or everybody, and I will give a rundown on what has happened to those players (or everybody). AOOO- Actions out of Order- When you are waiting for a reply in a fight, you can make AOOOs. If you win/get out with no major changes to you or the terrain in the fight that affect your AOOOs, you shall do the AOOOs. Use sparingly due to AOOO's ability to mess up a timeline. OOA- Order of Actions- The sequence of events that happened in a certain situation. Used to determine the final result of an event, especially in a PvP battle. ETF- Estimated Time Finish- When the game is predicted to end.

Starting a new KOTL and want to spread the word? Have a new game coming up you want to advertise? Don't create a thread in the club for it. Just announce it here! Any thread created for the sole purpose of advertisement in this club will be deleted. You can still advertise in notes, chat, or other KOTLs (if they let you), but do not create threads in the club for it. Thank you for your cooperation in keeping the clutter out of our club!

THIS POST ARCHIVES RULES FOR GAMES OF KOTL. They are sorted by which KOTL they belong too, not by game type. KOTLs are ordered by posts. KOTL: The Original @HorribleTomato Kind of the Ladder @rychessmaster1 King of the Ladder: The Flipside @hitthepin King of the Ladder run by Angel9505 @Angel9505 The Bad KOTL @ChessNerd1320 MOAR 2: Electric Boogaloo! @AustinXJet

I'm bored and looking at some forums talking about their size, I look back at this club, and the account I had that was shadowbanned and I can only help but think to myself: "Damn. Those were some of the best days ever." I look at the creativity a lot of people had with the minigames, their actions, their "tricks", everything. It had so much time and effort intricated into it all and it was so captivating to be a part of. And the fact that I even was once a huge part of it (okay, not really, but noticable enough to be mentioned in a parody of We Didn't Start The Fire) just is so cool to look back on. But the more I look, the more I miss it too. I look at all the members who used to I assume mainly would log on and only dedicated their chess.com time to seeing if their sword attack landed or not, and I start wondering what everyone is doing with their lives now. For goodness sake, I did what I thought was impossible for me and I got a girlfriend. I move out of my house I grew up a staple of in a literal week. I've been slowly dedicating myself to the very board game I love and made an account on a website called chess.com for. I start life so soon. Tomato hasn't been online in years, what is he up to? Is he dating anyone, is he living on his own, is he dead? How's Hitthepin and ChessNerd doing with their lives? Hows AustinJetX and NubbyCheeseKIng? RyChessMaster is a national FIDE master, he could beat me 300 times over before I so as little put him in check. So many lives i've communicated with on the countless screens just now doing their own thing after the silly little forum game ended. So many times, and even last year I want and tried to revive this forum game in clubs (I actually got one working! not for long.) because I miss it, but now that I look back, maybe it's better off that way. I don't say that to be grim, but in retrospect I realize nothing, and I mean nothing, lasts forever. It can last 400 years or 20 minutes, everyone and everything will come and go. And it's beautiful. I love it so much. I remember this quote by I believe Doctor Seuss, I quote it all the time. It goes: "Don't be sad it's gone. Be happy it was here." It's probably not the exact quote, but it's something of the sort. Simply put, i'm no longer clinging onto the false hope I can see KOTL revive or the chance a member of the community comes back, i'm glad I was a part of it. And I just wanted to say thank you. All of you.  I don't care if anyone bothers to read the notification for this, but I just got bored and typed all of this. Also BTW this is @toxic_ness_main, the guy who like was obsessed with Nintendo shit and the sort when these were popular. It still kinda is like that, just it's died down a lot. I remember basing my games off of splatoon a lot, and if i'm being honest, had things kept going and i really wanted to, it would have been Fire Emblem I would have based it all on. Anyways I pray whoever reads this has a nice day. (PS: If anyone has like HorribleTomato's discord instagram anything i'd love to reach out)

I'm literally just going to make another one of these because I want to see how it goes when the mod is actually active. No trolling please. Murder Mystery: Murderer: Gains 5 points for every player they kill. 15 points for killing the survivor. 30 points for winning. -1 points every day. The murderer will get a 20% discount on all shops. Innocent: Gains 2 points for everyday survived. Loses 15 points for killing an innocent. 40 points are split among the innocents who helped kill the murderer, and 20 points are given to the innocent who does the final blow. Gains 10 points for surviving until the end. 15 points for killing the survivor. Survivor: 3 points every day survived. 50 points for surviving to the end. I will DM the survivor materials needed to make traps. (Only the survivor can make traps) Killing anyone will result in losing 3 points, but people being killed by traps will not lose the Survivor any points. Assassin: The Assassin has a certain target. Target can not be the survivor. If target dies by something other than the Assassin, Assassin loses 10 points. If target is killed by the Assasin, Assasin becomes a normal innocent and gains 20 points. Storyline: You wake up in your cabin with no memory, with nothing (except for clothes). For some reason, you have the sense that you don’t need food or drink (hint hint: You don’t.). Here's the map: In the middle, there will be a pavilion. Supply drops will spawn here when at least 3-4 players are active. To the north, there will be the cabins. You live here. There are two floors, the top one has a balcony. The bottom floor has a workspace that contains anything you need to build stuff. To the east, there will be an armory. Weapons spawn here, but you can only take what you can carry. To the south, there will be a shop. You can buy and sell things here for gold. To the west, there will be a warehouse, where you can find raw materials. To the northwest, there will be a forest. There are great hiding spaces here, but LFA does not work in the forest. To the northeast, there will be a lake. There is a ship in the middle of the lake. The lake has many water dwelling plants that will be hard to go past. To the southwest, there will be the desert. Sinkholes and caves and numerous here. Caves have a 10 percent chance to cave in each action made in a cave. Once a cave in happens, the person who the cave collapsed on will take 50 damage and will have to have a pickaxe or outside help to mine out. In caves, ores are numerous. Ores are essential to making more powerful weapons. For example, having 3 diamonds and going to the anvil in your house to add the diamonds to your iron dagger will make a diamond plated dagger. Higher level weapons will do more damage. Shops contain: Trick boxes (200 gold) Specific Tricks (250-400 gold, depends on how good the trick is. Food and Water packages (75 gold) Spears (50 gold) Swords (50 gold) Daggers (50 gold) Shields (50 gold) Bows (75 gold) 10 arrows (30 gold) There will be 1-2 Assassins based on the number of players, 1 Murderer, 1 Survivor, and all the rest will be innocents. The more the game progresses, the more dangerous it will get. For example, the chance of a cave in will increase from 10% to 15%, The chance for a dangerous event will increase, and the chance of a pavilion drop will increase. PM's are allowed. Dying on your own with no player involvement (Such as a cave in killing you) will lose you 10 points. More and more NPC's will be introduced as the game progresses. NPC's will get more dangerous over time. (Such as the water dwelling plants in the lake, they will get more and more dangerous.

You told us you would make a sequel before departing to heaven. Wake up Speak up if you are alive. I know your phone still has one bar left. Reply to my message

Wake up.

WWC: An UIKS This is WWC #1. WWC #2: When Worlds Collide 2 (KOTL) - Chess Forums - Chess.com Notice to readers: This story has no tie-ins with any other KOTL related stories. Color coding for items: Green: Common Yellow: Uncommon Orange: Rare Red: Very Rare Blue: Legendary Purple: Mythical Light Yellow: Exclusive ITEMS: Assass: bulletproof vest, semi-automatic pistol (ammo x20), Nightingale Charm, Dark energy vacuum, Sphinx Helmet, Combat Bot with Gauntlet, Fan of Spring, The Cobalt Comet CBC: Phoenyx Charm, Athena's Shield, Arcane Amulet, Totem of Power, Bow of Spring, Seahorse Totem, Anaklusmos, Moon Elf Rune Noobiest: Semi-automatic pistol (ammo x20), Ballistic Shield, Night Owl Charm, Ethereal Chains, Chalice of Blood, Upgrade Scroll, A-Feather Mattew: Semi-automatic pistol (ammo x20), Iron armor, S-Feather, Blood Moon Halberd Louis: No actions recorded yet Prologue: The End of the Beginning Adrien creeped down the corridor, breathing hard. His years of research were finally going to pay off. He had discovered how to cross dimensions, but he didn't know how dangerous it was... He arrived at his destination, a small room with an altar in the middle. Adrien tensed; he could sense an aura of darkness in the air. Nevertheless, he stepped forward, and began the ritual. Chapter 1: Introductions 12 years after Adrien unleashed the power of Zasrya and was killed, three children ran down the abandoned streets of their city. It, along with the entire world, had been consumed by another dimension, known as the Void. Dangerous monsters ran rampant everywhere, while skeleton warriors patrolled the streets, weeding out survivors. These three children were running to their stronghold, based in a library. They were no strangers to danger or combat. Why don't I introduce them? The oldest one went by the codename of Phoenyx. He wielded two long, sharp daggers that he concealed in his sleeves. The middle one had the codename of Nightingale. Her actual name was Avira, and she used a long spear as well as a shield that activated from her watch. Finally, the youngest one's codename was Night Owl. He had a grappling hook and a pair of binoculars, and his weapon of choice was a sword. These three children, although they didn't know it yet, were destined to remake or further break their dimension... Chapter 2: Operation Purge As soon as the children made it to the stronghold, they were greeted by the leader of the human survival group. "You've got to hear this," he said, holding up a radio. *Crackle* All monsters and skeleton *crackle* warriors of the void, prepare to do your worst. We will completely eradicate *crackle* the humans and claim this world for *crackle* our own!!!" "That doesn't bode well," Phoenyx said, surprised. "We should start preparing defenses." "We're already on it." The leader turned around and showed them their plan. Outside the stronghold, a massive trench had been dug and filled with electrically charged water, with a wall of spiked metal right in front of the base. On the walls were mounted crossbows and grenade launchers. The whole sight was majestic, but deep down all three children knew it wasn't enough. Just as this thought came into their minds, the leader spoke again. "Of course, we've got some new people on our side, too..." *If you want to be included in this story then now is your chance* Chapter 3: Under Siege Ok guys, this is your first KOTL minigame (perhaps invented by me just now) So far we have: Noobiest, Assassin, and CBC. Goal: Collectively complete 5 missions assigned to you by the three children or the leader. The missions will be taking place during the siege/attack on the library stronghold. MAP: North: Meeting room West: Storage East: Phoenyx's Room South: Avira's Room North-East: Night Owl's Room South-East: Mounted crossbow sniping terrace South-West: Lab North-West: Library Chapter 4: Revolt Led by the warriors CBC, Assassin, and Noobiest (who might be modkilled soon due to inactivity), the assault on the library stronghold was ultimately unsuccessful. Now, the humans are planning to launch an attack on the portal located in the hospital... After Phoenyx managed to get his hands on the floorplans of the enemy base, Nightingale and Night Owl tried to plant bombs there. However, they were both caught and were imprisoned in the hospital. Because of this, the Leader sent Phoenyx and you guys to save them both and to detonate the bombs. Can you do it? MISSION OVERVIEW: Goal: Save Nightingale and Night Owl & Detonate the bombs. Location: Hospital Allies: Phoenyx Enemies: Skeleton Warriors and Monsters from the Void MAP OF HOSPITAL: Floor 1 North: Pharmacy West: Patient rooms 1-10 inclusive East: Armory (heavily guarded) South: Bakery (used by visitors before the apocalypse) Floor 2 North: Prison room West: Patient rooms 11-20 inclusive East: Laboratory South: Veranda Chapter 5: Corruption (First Raid Boss fight) After Assassin "saved" Nightingale, it was clear that something wasn't right. Her eyes glowed red, and she looked more like a vampire than a human. It seems like she was corrupted by evil magic... Anyways, she's very evil now and much stronger. Now you people have to defeat her and *somehow* lock her somewhere. Pheonyx, Night Owl, CBC, Assassin, the Manticore, the Dragon, and the Leader of the Resistance will team up to fight this new terror. (Red names are NPC's) BOSS SUMMARY: Speed: 11/10 Strength: 10/10 Defense: 9/10 Weapons: Electric spear, shield Abilities: Summon skeleton warriors, blast shadow energy, teleport MISSION: Defeat boss and don't die NO PVP Chapter 6: The Calm Before the Storm (First preparation chapter) This chapter is for you to prepare for chapter 7. You will raid the town, level up, get new items, etc. NO PVP MAP: North: Town Hall (Statue of a manticore on top of the building, huh) West: Dragon's Den (It's a bar) East: Excelsior Monument South: Bakery Northwest: Rolling fields Southwest: Lake Northeast: Shrine of Sai7179 Southeast: Human base (where you are now) read the first post to see how items are classified. Chapter 7: A Traitor's Mind "Someone has been passing info to the other side..." The leader paced his study. "But who could it be..." Nightingale (still corrupted) struggles in her chains. "Free me!" "Not yet, we need a way to get the dark energy out of you..." (Hint, hint assass) "Anyways, we still need to figure out how to send the power of Zasrya back to its own dimension," Pheonyx said, entering the room. "I've done some spying," said Night Owl proudly. "I've identified the source in this dimension. *Boss fight incoming* You journey to the Excelsior Monument (Which actually held a LOT of upgrade scrolls in chapter 6 but nobody knew ) After arriving, a massive crimson cloud appears above in the sky... and a man descends from above. His skin is made of magma, his fangs sharp as steel. His eyes glow with a hungry light, and his weapons are devestatingly powerful. Good luck. BOSS INFO: Attack: 30/10 Defense: 30/10 Speed: 30/10 BOSS WAS KILLED BY CBC Chapter 8: A Traitor Revealed "The magma monster is down. We must resort to more brutal methods..." said the LEADER of the humans to the monster army. "I am spying for you, but where is the success that was promised?" "In due time," said the leader monster. "We will raze their civilization. As for you..." *Hangs up* The leader trembles in fear. At that moment the children break into his office. "We know it is you now," Nightingale said, drawing her spear. "You're going down, traitor," Phoenyx agreed, taking out his twin knives. "FOOLS! You cannot defeat me!" the leader said, disappearing in a puff of smoke. Now, CBC and Assassin, you will once again have the chance to farm items in this map. (You must find the leader and kill him along the way) MAP: (Different from last time Cuz this is where the leader is hiding) North: Park West: Forest South: Desert East: Human Base Northwest: The Pond of Crystal Clearness Northeast: Train Station Southwest: Apartment building Southeast: Shooting range Center: Combination Forge Chapter 9: Illusions and Trickery In the last chapter, the "Leader" CBC killed turned out to be a fake. The actual leader has been tracked down in a sprawling underground prison. This will be the hardest chapter (and perhaps the longest) chapter, perhaps for the whole game MAP OF PRISON: Furthest North: Entrance to the Prison (where you are) Further north: Prison cells 1-25 North: Prison cells 26-50 Center: Warden's Office and Guard Suites South: Prison Cells 51-75 Further South: Cells 76-100 Furthest South: Cafeteria West: Cells 101-125 Further West: Makeshift blockade Furthest West: Insane Asylum Section East: Cells 126-150 Further East: Cells 151-175 Furthest East: Cells 176-200 and Disciplinary Room MAP OF INSANE ASYLUM SECTION (Furthest west) East: Entrance Center: Treatment Section West: Cell 201 North: Cell 202 South: Disposing Dock Epilogue: The End of the Start CBC found the Leader (LEEDER), and killed him. In the prison was a portal, and CBC went through that portal. Now he's in the 2nd dimension, along with Mattew. Maybe others will join as well? Everyone lost their items going through the portal, and are now loot scattered across the 2nd dimension. Please comment where I should post When Worlds Collide #2. WWC 2: When Worlds Collide 2 (KOTL) - Chess Forums - Chess.com

I forgot what the original season one of KOTL was, so I'm going to do all of this starting with Season 2. Generation One: Beginning Storyline Theorizing The original storyline begins with Generation One, introducing our first characters like the devil, Tomato himself, and many others characters that disappeared later on during the theorizing of the storyline itself. Creation of the KOTL's KOTL games started to appear. The original one itself, the Bad KOTL, the Rise of Harold, and others greatly contributed to the lore. This led to a new engaging activity known as All Stars. KOTL's continue to be created to this day. During this time, players started to incorporate themselves into the storyline/timeline and add to the lore. @eryxc, known for loving cookies, was one of the first people as well as @NubbyCheeseKing, who was Nubby, and @thegreatauk, one of the foremost players of the games of KOTL. All Stars The beginning of the All Stars saga and competition created new excitement in the KOTL world. The forums started to introduce the All Star characters that carried on and reappeared again in @Hitthepin's fanfiction storyline. These characters had come from original games in the KOTL world. This included the infamous Goose, Cookie etc. Generation Two: Second Coming New Weird Stuff What can I say? CN hates LFA and wants it dead. Eryxc accuses one of being her alt (weirdest thing ever). NOW, onto the real part. There begins the second theorizing where ideals and characters are reintroduced by @aidanB1 like the notorious Nobody who later is revealed to be the weirdest heroic villain ever in Iterum. Nubby creates a game in which you have to escape the night (hence the name of the game). Chessiship discusses about modern KOTL's next weapon selection, discussing about kitchen knives, fighting knives, ritual knives, all using information from our #1 reliable source Wikipedia. Generation Three: Dark Ages FIRESTORMTHIEF's Coming @FIRESTORMTHIEF arrives and is (was, yes I can say I'm mature now, yes?) the most insolent person ever to be seen in the world of the KOTL. First, he began with the a random story called "The Legend of the Heir to the Charm," which I have no idea why the hell I wrote it in the first place. He began creating things that didn't even have any KOTL qualities, incredibly stupid at the time. Plagiarism Another thing that happened was terrible plagiarism from @ricechessmaster1, copying the entire narrating of the intro of Stick War Legacy! And it's basically a fanfic (said hitthepin), and nothing else was written about it. Amazingly horrifying event, yes? New Games Not necessarily KOTL's, but still playable. A new activity emerged in the KOTL, everything was about @FIRESTORMTHIEF this and that writing and spamming a new forum. New games were created, however, and this contributed to the storyline as well. New Stories More stories were created by @FIRESTORMTHIEF as he didn't think anything bad would happen, and he wanted people to read what he made. So desperate and fragile. End of FIRESTORMTHIEF He got banned. The End... or IS IT? Short Return Through alt accounts, @FIRESTORMTHIEF repeatedly came back until one day... he disappeared (for personal reasons). This is end of weird terror of @FIRESTORMTHIEF. The end was April 2021. Generation Four: Fall of the KOTL Crumbling Stuff At the year of 2021, KOTL was dying. People simply weren't active anymore. There were less than ten people active there. The new fresh ones were @chesswithgautham, @dragonlouis, and old KOTLers such as @coolboycombo, @I_The_Noobiest_Pro (banned by CN), and @ChessNerd1320 remained. @chesswithgautham was the main one who made KOTL's while @dragonlouis made a KOTL based off of the Dragonwatch book series. Generation Five: FIRESTORMTHIEF's Return Return @FIRESTORMTHIEF returned as @SpaceVoidSuperEvil and began a new era of writing, creating the Why hello there! series to entertain the remaining KOTLers. Gaining of Power @FIRESTORMTHIEF gained SA on the account of @SpaceVoidSuperEvil before closing it. However, his main account got unbanned by his alternate and now, he returns as this... me! The online account is @FIRESTORMTHIEF. Dying The club continues to be very inactive.

Okay guys here is the official list for all special items in the Mystic KOTL. Feel free to add to this list but no troll comments or else I will not not give you a trophy. Thanks- Jeb OFFICIAL LIST AIR CRYSTAL-Summons a 10m x 10m tornado for 20 seconds. The user is not affected by the tornado FIRE CRYSTAL- The fire crystal sets its surroundings of 5m on fire and gives fire resistance for 5 minutes WATER CRYSTAL- The water crystal floods the surrounding 5m and gives you water breathing and quickness for 5 minutes EARTH CRYSTAL- The earth crystal has 2 powers. It can either hurl a boulder up to 10 meters away or can cause an earthquake in the surrounding 20m which the user is not affected by LIGHTNING CRYSTAL- The lightning crystal summons a huge blast of lightning to an opponent in the surrounding 10m. The lightning is near lethal but has a 35% chance of striking the user.