02-25-12 - Praying Through Anger
http://godtalklouisvilleky.blogspot.com/2012/02/02-25-12-praying-through-anger.html
Ephesians 4:26-27 / 26Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27Neither give place to the devil.
This is in reference to a piece of discussion we have been having on handling anger Biblically, in
conjunction with loving your enemies. The question asked was, "How can you love your enemies?
Do you love the guy who is destroying your family? Do you love the arsonist why is setting fire to your
home? Do You love the guy who is taking a knife and slowly beheading your spouse? Do you love
the soldier who is grabbing your baby, throwing it up in the air and catching it on his bayonet? And
do you love his fellow soldiers who chuckle and joke about the expression on your wife's face after
the loss of her baby, just before she is raped and murdered? Do you love the Saudis who flew jet
planes into the World Trade Center and killed 3,000 people?"
We discussed this concept right afterward. It is one thing to feel anger over something bad that is
happening around us - it is then up to us to choose what we do with that emotion. Anger, like joy or
sadness, is an emotion that can trigger decisions we will make. As a matter of fact, it is a strong
emotion that has the ability to make us do things that we would later regret. Families can be
destroyed, jobs lost, friendships wrecked - all over anger. If this is so, we need a good mechanism to
help us deal with anger!
This is where God's love comes into place. His love is so amazingly strong, it can bring healing and
ability to forgive even in the midst of extreme anger situations. Let's take one instance - a man
breaks into your house and steals your things. You were gone at work, so you did not know it was
happening. When you come home, you find your house ransacked and your TV is missing. Your
wife's favorite necklace is also missing. Your furniture has been turned upside down, all the drawers
are thrown down on the floor, and papers are everywhere. One of your windows has been broken, and
the door was kicked in.
This would be enough to make anyone boiling mad - that is understandable. Now comes our part -
what do we do? Do we go out and buy a gun and threaten to hunt the man down? Do we begin to
fantasize about catching him around our house and slowly beating him to a pulp with a baseball bat?
Let's be real about this - we can never effectively deal with anger issues if we pretend they do not
exist. IF WE DO NOT OVERCOME OUR ANGER, IT WILL OVERCOME US.
What can we do? The first thing we have to do is forgive that person for what they have done to us.
Jesus spoke on this wise when He was being crucified in Luke 23:34 - "...Father, forgive them; for
they know not what they do...". Forgiveness clears us of the desire to extract a debt we feel we
are owed from the person. If we choose not to forgive, but instead harbor unforgiveness in our heart, it
will act as a slow poison, introducing bitterness, wrath, jealousy, vengeance, etc. into our hearts. We
will not be able to function in the same capacity as we once were able, because the unforgiveness
has crippled our emotions. FORGIVENESS CLEANS THE SLATE IN OUR HEARTS AND ALLOWS
US TO OPERATE FREELY.
I speak from experience of the bondage of anger - it has crippled my emotions for many years. My
dad was very verbally (and at times, physically) abusive to me. He would call me "stupid mother -",
"idiot", etc. I was constantly yelled at, belittled and berated. Granted, my dad had some intense
anger issues from his childhood - he had a pretty bad one too! So, I was receiving the short end of
the deal daily. My mom was mentally handicapped, so I could not relate to her. My parents got a
divorce when I was about 6, and I finally went to spend the majority of my childhood with my dad.
I never really talked to people about what was going on - I was too scared. I felt that if I told on my
dad, he would beat me really bad. I wanted to run away to a Safe House, but I was afraid that when I
had to come home, my dad would beat me badly for running away. I hated life, and I wished I was
dead. I had no purpose to live - I wanted to die and go to hell, because I could not picture heaven
being a good place after all the hell I was going through.
To put it shortly - God did a WORK on my life! He gave me a purpose, direction, and hope - for this
life, and the next. This doesn't mean the anger was all gone! But God was beginning to teach me
about things that began to take root years later.
I tried for years to forgive my dad, but I couldn't get the anger to go away. I found that you must be
able to discuss issues - you cannot keep them pent up. The Bible even teaches us that in Matthew
5:23-26 / 23Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy
brother hath ought against thee;
24Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother,
and then come and offer thy gift.
25Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time
the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou
be cast into prison.
26Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the
uttermost farthing.
God encourages us to discuss any issues we may have with another individual. IF THE ISSUE IS
NOT RESOLVED, IT CAN BECOME A FESTERING BOIL, BREWING UP HATRED, DISSENSION
AND WRATH. We must learn to deal with these issues, and try to make amends with our enemies -
even if we feel we are in the right.
I would walk around and envision people wanting to kill me, or hurt me. Some might chalk this up to schizophrenia, but it was symptomatic of two things -
#1 - The pain I endured as a child
#2 - The anger that was harbored in my heart
Every person I saw was simply an extension of my dad. Every person was just another person who
wanted to hurt me or say something hateful to me. How did I deal with this? I pretended it did not
exist. I created another form of consciousness for myself and operated within that form of conscious. This may be hard to explain, but let me try. Whenever I would see someone and sense those negative
emotions, I would pretend the emotions were not real, and I would act as if everything was okay. For
the most part, people treated me okay.
On a superficial level, this was okay, but I never could make bonds with friends like I would have liked
to - I was scared that when I opened up to the people, the reality of my Father would come through
their lives. They would become just like him, hating me, hurting me...it was too much for me to bear.
Through God, I was able to begin to forgive my dad. I learned that God had compassion on me in my
weakness. I was able to understand that people were not "out to get me", and I was able to begin to
make some real bonds with people in life. I was able to talk to my dad in a respectful tone, while still
respecting myself. Before my healing, I always viewed myself as extremely beneath my dad
Going back - I remember I used to have nightmares of being chased by an enormous shadow that I
could never get away from. I had dreams of people trying to kill me constantly. I had dreams of
helplessness. These were all from my youth, around age 8-10. These were all symptomatic of what I
was going through in life.
I can testify that God brought healing in that area too. Now, I sleep like a rock, and I don't have those
terrible dreams anymore. God has been very kind to me.
In short, this message is about how the effects of anger can cause destructive affereffects in our lives. My dad experienced a lot of pain in his childhood, and later he channeled his frustrations onto me. I had to
be healed of my pain, otherwise I would enter right back into the same destructive cycle.
Today, if you have anger (or any negative emotion) towards an individual, I encourage you - take time
to pray and get away. Forgive that individual, and let God heal your heart. Then, if possible, try to
make amends with that individual. Sometimes the problems that happen are just symptoms for an
issue that is not even related to the problems you are going through.
God bless!