Advice for a good anti-bongcloud system?

I've been struggling lately against the dreaded bongcloud in my OTB games, but it seems nearly impossible to avoid 2. Ke2! if that's your opponent's intent. Any advice?

Is this a joke?

It's called playing normally.  If your opponent decides to be an idiot and deliberately put his king in danger, let him.  Don't let it bother you, and play a regular game, and you should be fine.

Though of course, I must agree with LightninHopkins, this must be a joke.  If you really have trouble against the Bongcloud over the board, then the best I can say is that you might want to consider a different game.  The Bongcloud is that bad.

I thought the Bongcloud was 1. f3 e5 2. Kf2!?, which is bad, but at least safer than 1. e4 e5 2. Ke2??.

First one is the Fried Fox, second one is the Bongcloud.

I have game in progress against a Mariojr in which i used the bongcloud and i'm doing pretty well. 

Congratulations.  That still does not mean the Bongcloud is a good opening, it exposes your king unnecessarily while blocking White's development.

Where's Lenny Bongcloud when you need him?  I'm sure you wannabe Bongcloud posers don't even realize that the bongcloud isn't just an opening; it's a whole game strategy!  I bet none of you guys are even trying to get your K to cross the board like Lenny does.  That's how you rack up the kind of amazing win loss record that Lenny has. 

yeah, lenny was cool.

If people want to look at your game, they can just look at your profile and find the game from there.  Besides, it's not allowed to talk about your games in progress.

thnx

Your king is your second most powerful piece, you just cant play without him. You can bong him, bung him bing him, have at him just dont lose him!!

At a certain point, you are simply in denial. It is time to accept the fact that the Bongcloud is unbeatable and that you must avoid it with the Fred (1.e4...f5!!!)

Here is a model game GM game for Black : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ACWOhYf5yg

Anyway, why even play 1...e5, because even if they haven’t gained the knowledge of the Bongcloud and play 2. Nf3?!, they can still likely play the Jerome and win!!!

It was a joke...

hikaru speedrun anyone?

You can only counter the bongcloud with the turbobongcloud 

2...Ke7 ... 3... Ke6

home by philip philips 1. ...  Qxe4+!!

It's best countered by resigning