I assume you want World Peace as well? Remember what ever opening you play your opponent also chooses one. No opening is a forced win and you can't get everything you want out of an opening against a prepared player.
Your "dream" opening is not possible. I suggest you barrow down what you want.
Look at the Colle or the Trompowsky as White as possible suggestions.
I second CallMeASpade. The Hippo involves putting pawns on a3, b3, d3, e3, g3 and h3, placing the bishops on b2 and g2 and putting the knights on d2 and e2.
This looks passive but with a c4 thrust you can rip open the black centre. Also, you generally dont want to castle when using the hippo as the king is extremely safe in the centre.
An advantage to this opening is that it can be used as white and black so you can get the best of both worlds.
I know very little about openings and always open with the Queen's Pawn if playing white. I want to find an unusual and little known opening that's also highly flexible that will complement my style of play.
I don't like playing shorter than 20 minute games and have absolutely no interest in blitz or quick games. Here is how I like to play from the opening:
I like to maximize board coverage while keeping pieces back. For example I like to advance a pawn that opens up the bishop's and queen's diagonal simultaneously. I like to drastically increase my board coverage with minimal moves like that. Although I don't mind assuming a defensive posture early on I want high potential mobility so I can strike quickly. I like to pick off pieces and am a primarily a tactical player as opposed to strategic. I also really have no qualms about bringing my Queen out early if its safe. I like to free up the back row and get my rooks into action as soon as possible as well. I also like the opponent not knowing which side I will castle on (so like to delay castling).
And in addition to all this, I want to counter everything the opponent does early on and keep him from mobilizing and limit his options.
Finally, I hate the end game, and have no desire to get into a piece-trading war of attrition (although I don't mind at all trading Queens if necessary.)
So, any openings experts out there?