Opening Repertoire for lazy people

Here's the thing, I do want an opening repertoire ... but I'm lazy and unfortunately don't have hours to spend studying copious opening variations. So, which openings do you think have the least variations?   

Bishop's Opening as white and Philidor Defence as black.

White:

Two chess books should solve the problem for you.  The Colle: Move by Move and The Torre Attack: Move by Move.  You need both as the Colle is garbage against Fianchetto Defenses, the Torre is garbage against 1...d5 or 2...d5.  Against 1...Nf6/2...e6, both are fine, you go with the one you are more comfortable with.

Black:

Against 1.e4, avoid 1...e5 or 1...c5.  Reams and reams of theory.  Best off going with something like the French or Caro-Kann.  The French is you prefer a more active game, Caro-Kann if you prefer more of a "safe king" and are fine with playing endgames.

Against 1.d4, avoid the King's Indian, Grunfeld, Benoni, and other highly theoretical openings.  I'd say your best bet is either the Dutch with ...e6, which can be played via 1...e6 if you go with the French against 1.e4, and the book "Winning with the Stonewall Dutch", which also explains when NOT to use the Stonewall, is an excellent choice.  It's only about 200 pages.

You could complete your entire repertoire off of about 1000 pages of theory rather than needing 3000 pages of theory just to cover what you do against 1.e4, which would be the case if you took up the Najdorf Sicilian.

So in Summary, I'd suggest the following:

White:  Torre and Colle
Black:  French or Caro-Kann and Dutch lines with ...e6 (Not Leningrad)

No, that won't solve his problem.  You've got the Sicilian, French, Caro-Kann, Pirc, Modern, Alekhine, Nimzovich, etc to deal with as White in addition to the Bishop's Opening, and what to do against 1.d4 as Black.

Go with what I posted in post 3.  Torre/Colle will cover 99% of your games as White and French/Dutch or Caro-Kann/Dutch is not nearly as taxing as 1...c5 or 1...e5.

Thanks for your advice ThrillerFan :)

Are there any other books you'd recommend? What book would you recommend for the French?

just play the london system as white and the Qd8 or Qd6 scandi and Slav as black, only downside is that you will eventually die of boredom.

I've actually been playing the London system almost exclusively for over a year and you're right, I'm dying of boredom! :D

A very simple repertoire would be Colle as white and Qd8 Scandi + Slav as Black.

That's probably something you could start playing after seeing one sample game of each

edit : similar to what kponds suggested above

I'd say KIA it up.  As far as black, I wouldn't play non-theoretical stuff because if white knows what he's doing, you're in for a long and passive game with little prospects.  Part of the fun of the chess hobby is going over classic games and learning theory....nothing says you have to learn 40 move variations in the poisoned pawn or something.  Man up!  

Well, you didn't ask me, but maybe it would be worthwhile to mention the Cyrus Lakdawala book, First Steps: The French.

https://www.everymanchess.com/downloadable/download/sample/sample_id/123/

Perhaps it is worthwhile to mention the Cyrus Lakdawala book, First Steps: The Colle and London Systems.

If you don't have time to study openings then i suggest you avoid books altogether.Chessbase has quite a few decent repertoire DVD's.Pick the ones you like and that should be more than enough.I made it to 2200 without touching an opening book.I just use Chessbase DVD's and ofcourse do a lot of my own work using databses,etc.I've built up quite a decent repertoire using this method.But for you just DVD should suffice.

As i have established lazy chess study as a rule, this is what i play:

White: Torre Attack

Black: Scandinavian 2...Nf6, and Benko Gambit.

Stonewall as White and Black.  Scandinavian (Center Counter) against e4.

I suggest this super lazy set up: Hippo Defense!

Take a look at this game from Black view. The set up complete at move 10. 

It is very felxible. You can choose later which pawn to advance and which side to calstling, depending on a situation.

You can use this set up as White too.

And most importantly, you can use it to win a 2700 player like this!

pick something your opponents will know nothing about like the vienna game and alekhine defence

Thanks for everyone's suggestions :)

d6 universal system and basicly any basic system is good to start.Get the peices out.  do  the the twenty minuet exersise look at the stucture caputre cheaks good sqares bad squares threats and baasic moves.  I have  started beating 130 140 rated players and comfortaby duking it out with 170 180 now by this and also added 10 minuete exersise going into the engame the only thing is i am not committed enouth to see really how far i can go!!

A white 1.g3, as black 1...g6.

Torre + Colle, that's interesting, that would be a really simple way for me to try out some 1.d4 games as a surprise.

Thrillerfan's discussions on openings are the best on chess.com IMO. I have learnt a lot from him.