talking to drizzld
openings

1. f3! e5 2. g4!!
Scores extremely well for me as white. As black, I have a 0% win rate against this opening. Its pretty much invincible.
If you dont like it then 1. g4 e5. 2. f3 is also good as well.
This is what happens (Fool's Mate):
the queen kills the pawn on h4. You didn't see that?