realistic options vs. 1.nf3?

the more I think about it the more evil the transpo ideas are for white after 1.nf3. it seems to avoid everything in my repertiore. right now I play- sicilian vs. 1.e4, grunfeld vs 1.d4, and mainline 1.c4 e5 vs english..

I dont want to play a neo-grunfeld, and if 1..c5 he doesnt have to (and most times wont) transpose to a mainline sicilian.

I used to play the bird as white so I looked up 1.nf3 f5 to do a dutch but it seems that doesnt work well.

what options do I have here?

I didnt want to go into a symmertrical english, but in seeing the other options I think learning it might be my best chance. are there any lines in it where playing nc3 first is better and black can get to choose which line is being played?  thats the hardest part it seems, they have all the flexibility if you dont want to play a double Q pawn opening

You must consider 1. Nf3 a viable and standard opening move like e4, d4 and c4.  As such you must have a response to Nf3 instead of trying to force it into one of your other responses.  It is more work but once you've settled on a plan and learned it you will avoid most of your problems. 

There are many viable options and you must choose that which appeals to you. 

so what if it goes 1.nf3 nf6 2.c4 g6 3.nc3 d5 ... is that not too bad for me? I think youre right in when they fianch I have enough time to snuff them out. but this position is hard because I cant play 3...d5 because they play e4 if bg7

Start off with 1. ...d5 and play a slav setup with your queen's bishop outside the pawn chain. He can transpose to whatever he likes and it won't make a dent on your setup.

would that lead to the 1.nf3 d5 2.d4 bf5 3.c4 e6 4.nc3 c6 5.qb3 type positions though?

It can lead to fairly mainline slav like this: 1. Nf3 d5 2. d4 c6 3. c4 Nf6 4. Nc3 dxc4 5. a4 Bf5 etc

You need to know how to play the slav though. In your example you're moving your bishop too early and it fails to Qb3