What is your favorite chess story?

 This is not true.

Deep Blue had a dream that it died and went up to heaven, where it met Garry Kasparov (who was just passing through) and Mikhail Tal.

Kasparov said "Ok, tell me, finally, did you cheat in our match? Did you get help from a GM?"

Deep Blue thought, and thought, for a really long time. Then it turned to Tal and said "What do you think I should say?"

Once upon a time Steinitz got slaughtered and bought the farm (probably a fellow inmate at the asylum clobbered him, it doesn't really matter, since its a joke, and too much information spoils a joke).

When he got to heaven, God asked him to make good on his boast that he could "Give God pawn and move." So he gave God pawn and move.

God just totally demolished him. It wasn't even funny (kind of like this joke).

So God boomed, triumphantly, "You see now? What about your boast that you could give me pawn and move? Hah!"

Wherupon Steinitz replied "What are you talking about? I gave you pawn and move. What else do you want, a cookie?"

God probably sent him on his way, down south, at this point, but it doesnt really matter because the joke is over and no one cares anymore. Well, except Steinitz, maybe.

Capablanca and Alekhine died and went to hell, where they started playing chess.

Capa was slaughtering Alekhine, over and over.

One day, Capa asks Alekhine "So, how did you wind up in Hell?". Alekhine replies "Well, you know, it was all those Nazi articles I wrote. Yes, it really was me who wrote them."

So they go on playing for another few hundred years, Capa winning every single game. Finally, Alekhine asks Capa "So, why are you here in Hell? Live a bad life?"

Capa said "not really, no".

Alekhine said "Chase too many skirts?"

Capa said "That didn't really happen. I was faithful to my wife."

Alekhine said "Well, then what? Why are you here?"

Capa looks at Alekhine, perplexed. "Haven't you been keeping score?"

One day I was sleeping and suddenly: Ding! . . . Dong!  . . . Breaking the sound of silence. I sat up, was I dreaming? I thought I heard the doorbell. Ding! . . . Dong! . . . 

I got up put on my robe and went to the door. "Who is it?" I said softly through the shut door. "It's me Grimm the reaper in training."

I unlatched and opened the door and saw Grimm. "What are you doing here? I thought everything was taken care of and I wasn't supposed to die."

"We have one more thing to do. We have to finish the chess game. My boss requires that we finish the verbal contract about the game. See, he knows what's going on even though he isn't here. So let's play Denver."

"I guess so. Maxine is sleeping so we have to be quiet. Come on in." 

“You have to be quiet Denver. She can’t hear me. Remember?”

Grimm walked over to the chessboard and with a wave of his hand all the pieces moved to their positions that we were at when we stopped playing. Pointing at the clock, the time was set. Not much time left for me, double the time for him.

"Sit down Denver. I believe it's my move. Start the clock when you are ready." I looked down at the board and scanned it for possibilities. It really wasn't that bad I thought. I was down a piece and two pawns. Grimm had castled and the center was blocked. My attack had to be to the castled King on the right flank.

Bang! I started the clock by rocking it to the right. Grimm rapidly made his move and started my clock with the wave of his bony hand. I made my move quickly and banged the clock. That took only three seconds. All the moves were being made rapidly. He made his move waving. I moved . . . He waved . . . I moved . . . He waved . . . bang . . . waved . . . bang . . . for a dozen or so moves. The only sound was my moving the pieces and me banging the clock. His moves were silent. After one of his moves, I didn't make a move . . .

"Wait," I said, "You made a mistake. The game is over. You left you King in check and in speed chess that is allowed. I don't even have to say ‘Check’ either and the king can be taken off the board." "What? I didn't see that." "Sorry, you just lost." I said and took his king with my bishop from the long diagonal across the board, and I stopped the clock. "Oh brother, what a simple blunder my first loss, in several hundred years. I can't believe it. That's called 'Amaurosis Scacchistica' and thanks for finishing the game. My boss will be pleased that you beat me. I didn't lose on purpose." "What the heck was that 'Amaurosis Scacchistica?'" I asked. "It's the name for chess blindness. I was there when Chigorin invented it in 1892 when he lost to Steinitz. Goodbye Denver." He didn't shake my hand. He got up and sort of bowed turned and glided through the door and he faded away.

I turned off the lights and went back to bed. Maxine was snoring lightly and soon I was snoring also.

I had an old chess book that was great and had many stories in. one in particular went like this.

There was these 2 GM,s in a public house getting drunk (as you do) and talking about chess when they were interupted by a person on the table next to them. "are you talking about chess?" said the stranger "yes" replied one of the GM,s "we,re grand masters."grand masters" replied the stranger "they still play chess even this day and age?" "yes of course" replied a GM. "but there is a major flaw in the game of chess " said the stranger" "as anyone can be beat within 12 moves, and it can,t be stopped" "no, no, no" replied a GM. "Oh yes" said stranger......... So the GM,s got their chess board out and a match took place. The stranger proved it game after game and gave checkmate on move 12 every time. So,the GM,s saved the world of chess and evicted the stranger off the face of the earth............................. lol 

Heh. You got there five minutes before I did. When I read this story in The Complete Chess Addict it was supposed to be a deathbed confession by Alekhine about a Russian he met at the St Petersburg tournament before WW1. Same idea, the stranger has found a mate in 12 for White against any defence, and after Alekhine calls in Lasker who is also beaten by it, the two masters murder the Russian and hide the body. :)

The reason why they gave the hippapotamus opening its name is because a hippo won the world championships with it in 1964. if you don,t believe me ask redrum he was the runner up :)

 lol sorry ha ha sounds like you remembered it better than i did. hahaha but i thibk i done well at improvising it haha

There's one (supposedly true) story about Garry Kasparov playing against a young GM who was renowed for poring through dozens of books and websites about opening theory, and subsequently decided that there was no sound opening that could possibly surprise him, and thus decided to make an opening himself. Unfortunately, it was based on extremely complex pawn structure theory... and the first two moves led to Fool's Mate! Horrified, Kasparov realized it too late and resigned.

One day an amateur approached Frank Marshall, who was the US champ at the time, and asked for help in a postal game. Marshall obliged and a few days later, another amateur dropped in at the chess club to also seek help in a postal game from Marshall - the opponent of the first player who had come in a few days earlier. Marshall helped the second player and then ended up playing himself for several months as the two amateurs marveled at how their opponent was able to play on for so long against the great Marshall!

My favourite true chess story concerns a very young Bobby Fischer, playing blitz in a Moscow chess club during his visit, and absolutely whacking everyone in sight until Petrosian, who was then in his prime, came along and gave Bobby his first losses. At the time young Bobby had the dreadful habit of adjusting his opponents pieces if they weren't in the middle of the square. Nobody had said anything, but when Fischer touched one of Petrosian's pieces, he got a lesson he never forgot. The Armenian champion was a strong man despite his short stature: he quickly stretched out a big paw and gave young Bobby an incredibly hard rap on the knuckles. This no-nonsense punishment worked absolute wonders! As far as we know, Fischer never ever again touched an opponent's pieces after that rather painful experience.....good on you Tigran! 

Any other good chess stories? This is a very interesting forum and we should keep it going

Again Balarama was the winner according to the rules of chess, but Rukmi again cunningly claimed that he had won. Rukmi appealed to the princes present, and he especially mentioned the name of the King of Kalinga. At that time there was a voice from the air during the dispute, and it announced that for all honest purposes Balarama, the actual winner of this game, was being abused and that the statement of Rukmi that he had won was absolutely false.

Sorry but i do not get it...can someone please expplain it...

lol, great one!

Hi Guys ! very good stories.

Sharing one of mine:

I was arbiter(tournament referee) for college girls chess tournament. Many of the girls were beginners and one of the board had a disupute on whites current queen position.

What happened?

White player saw a good queen move and picked up the queen to make the same but while making the move it stuck her that its a blunder! so she continued holding the queen in air and started thinking.After a while both players forgot where the queen originally was! Finally we had to rematch as both players wont budge ;-).

Those who know me are aware that I call 'em as I see 'em concerning women's chess, but in fairness I present the following true story:

Vera Menchik stood head and shoulders above every other woman player of her generation and in tribute to her playing strength she was invited to compete at Carlsbad 1929 (the same tournament where Capablanca's adultery cost him the game against Saemisch and, ultimately, the entire contest). Viennese master Albert Becker sneered at this and suggested that men whom Menchik defeated should form a club. There was some degree of justification for this, as it turned out; poor Menchik finished a resounding last in a strong field that included Nimzowitch and Spielmann in addition to the two mentioned above, and in which Marshall finished well down the table. However, by the time the tournament was over, the Club had its first member... none other than the ungracious Becker.

totally don't know if this is true, but I remember it being attributed to Max Euwe.  Mr Euwe was traveling to a tournament on a plane going over some games on his chess board... a fellow passenger approached him and asked if he was pretty good at chess.  Being a fellow modest man, Max said he knew some and the guy challenged Euwe (the world champion) to a game of chess.

the game went smoothly until the WC played a Pawn d'etait.  His opponent Objected, thats not How a pawn moves! he said.  and rather than being disagreeable, the world champion choose another move and soon won.

Mr Euwes opponent went back to his seat and was heard mumbling "how could I lose THAT badly to a beginner that doesn't even know how a pawn moves!"