create dumb chess pieces

The Blight. It's an analogue of the Knight that can only be used in 4D variants and above.

It is an elementary (4,3,2,1)-leaper and is colorbound. It moves and captures by going 4 on any axis, 3 on another, 2 on another, and 1 on the last axis.

Here, let me show you how it moves.

Oh, sorry, it can't move to anywhere on this plane. Let me zoom out.

That's better. So as you can see, it moves in an elegant, simple easy to understand way, much like the Knight in regular 2D chess.

Let's zoom out to see the full range of possible moves:

As you can see it is very intuitive and easy to understand its 384 directions of movement and nobody would ever think otherwise.

Zorse (retains hippogonal movement of the knight [2,1], but also has that of the zebra [3,2])

I don't know why the NZ piece isn't more commonly used actually, given that the NC (gnu), CZ (bison), and NCZ (buffalo) are relatively commonly used.

Someone created a variant involving the piece just about the time you made the comment.

https://www.chessvariants.com/rules/okapi-chess

Former Actress: combines Queen and Xiangqi Horse and it also can move 2 squares vertically or horizontally and then 1 square diagonally on that same direction (like a camel version of the Xiangqi Horse), value: 14

Zorse is a term that I saw for a zebra-horse hybrid. I didn't know that chess had an okapi. Use whichever term you'd want for such a hybrid, then.

The Squire:

Moves like a knight, but cannot jump over pieces. They must instead move in an L shape without passing through an existing piece's spot. For example, in this board, the dark knight (substitute for the Squire) can move 2 spaces up and 1 space left, while the light knight can't.

Edit: The board disappeared in front of my eyes

Before you read, know that I am completely sane

The chicken: Moves one space diagonally in any direction, moves one backwards, and moves up to 2 forwards without jumping.

Up next will be the mechachickenman

Craig:

-Can only move one square horizontally or vertically.

-Can only capture to the right

-If the white Craig reaches g7, they automatically win (same for black and b2)

The website hopper

moves: it moves like a queen but when it captures a pieces it gets randomly transported to a random website

the fishop : it moves 2 squares diagonally but we can only move it when the queen, the 2 rooks and 5 pawns have been eaten

Archanine: Moves like queen but cannot move one square in any direction: can jump over enemy pieces; cannot over friendly ones. Wrapidash: Rook + king + amazon

Blight to AEi8

bro I can’t even understand 3D chess variants💀 actually not even chess variants with boards with other shapes like hexagonal chess

Pillar: really just decoration, but if it is captured, pieces of the roof will fall down every move, you lose if your king gets crushed by the collapsing roof.

Mechachickenman (flame): Moves like the chicken mentioned earlier, except can instead capture in front AND push adjacent (diagonals included) opponent pieces away unless blocked.

Mechachickenman (force): Moves like the chicken, except can instead move 1 space back (unless blocked, even if it's an opponent's piece it will stay in the same spot) and captures the closest opponent's piece in a straight line, forwards.

SANS: If he captures (his movement is a Man), everyone gets to listen to MEGALOVANIA as a temporary truce.

I've had this idea, but: The Visitor

A short cylindar, moves diagonally forward, captures by jumping diagonally over a piece, can chain captures, can promote to be able to move diagonally backwards as well