Chess is upsetting me.

Chess is currently making me depressed for a couple of reasons, the first and most obvious is that my rating has stalled completely, I'm stuck at 1400 and each player I face appears to have the skills of a Grandmaster, I literally do not stand a chance. I have no idea how I can surpass where I am now, I am studying chess for hours every day and still no progress, nothing...

Secondly, I am getting trolled by players laughing as they beat me, wasting time etc. I recently faced a 1600 player who was playing at 1450 for some reason, he obviously destroyed me but kept laughing and telling me to hurry up with my moves, destroying my concentration. I understand chess is competitive but why do people need to use psychological cruelty to win a game, I don't understand it.

Thirdly, I get really upset when I lose a game, my brain physically hurts from looking at these positions and when I post analysis in the forum, some 2000 comes along instantly and says OH you missed this move , and this move, and blundered here. What I am lacking is eyesight, chess is literally making my eyes hurt, I can't see every single piece and where they can go. An obvious example is when my opponent attacks me with an undefended piece, I will run away from it because I assume my opponent won't blunder, this is an effect which losing so many games has had on me.

I guess the point of the thread is that chess makes me angry, sad, ruins my day, I don't relax or enjoy playing it at all. All I wanted was to get into the top 5% of players but I stalled so badly at 1400, and I am just fed up of losing. I wondered if any of you have faced this and how you learned to enjoy chess while being beaten all the time? Obviously winning gives you endorphins, but I am losing at least 50% of the time at the moment so I find the game is belittling me and making me feel stupid, etc.

I'm not higher rated than you, but I think to know what you should do: you should take a break from chess. This is a game, nobody is playing to become a grandmaster on chess.com, therefore you firstly MUST enjoy the game. If chess is making you feel this bad, I believe that it's time for yout for a sabatical break, like a month or so... maybe you just need to let those experiences "soak in". Once you are a little bit more in peace with your mind, you will probably play much better, or at least you will enjoy the game more. 
Because don't forget, at the end of the day, it's a game... thank god nobody is actually paying to attempt raising their ELO on chess.com as it could be for OTB chess. This place is a playground, so until you don't feel comfortable enjoying chess, then you should take a break  

Hope things will go better, take care.

All of us must accept our limitations. Do that and you'll be happier.

The best thing anyone who chooses to engage with anything should be enjoyment. Try to view the losses and losing as a learning experience in which it can lead you to improvement to future wins and checkmates.

As stated yourself, you come across opponents who are better than you. It means they know more strategies and tactics. After analyzing your games, try to implement some of the strategies and tactics they themselves used in your own playstyle.

Also try to analyze what you could do next time so you don't get mated or lose.

Do this with a good attitude and mindset, and the wins will come along the way. 

Everything is relative.  You're sad that you're stuck at 1400, well there are lots of threads here by people saying their lifelong dream is to reach 1000 someday.

You may need to take a time out and get reset. Realign the things of your life in proper perspective. 

1) Turn In-Game-Chat off;

2) Accept, that 50/50 win/loss ratio is standard;

3) Take the Universe easy n just enjoy the game

Good Luck !

I told you in your other topic but you disagreed, and made excuses and found reasons.. despite you were asking what you were doing wrong. you checked my rating and said naahh this guy cant help me.. lol 

You are in a syndrome what i call "cant see the obvious and keep asking why"

i really hate this, i don't want to be limited to that until i reach my goal which is NM

Perhaps NM is your limit. Go for it. 

Hi. PatrickHockstetter.
1400 is good. I am also struck in this zone.
Cheer up.
Go on to play and learn.

Try not caring a bit the games more fun when you don't really care if you win or lose. Then its not "omg what is best move stresss" instead its "this looks fun I don't care if its best or not gonna go for that" way more fun 

Thanks wits

I do that all the time and usually it doesnt end well at all

Hello Patrick,
Alright, let's look at some of the details you have presented to the forum:

1. You're going through a rough patch ("Chess is currently making me depressed for a couple of reasons..."), and you seem to be losing a lot of games ("I'm stuck at 1400 and each player I face appears to have the skills of a Grandmaster,...").

2. You're being bullied by other players ("I am getting trolled by players laughing as they beat me, wasting time etc.").
3. Furthermore, you get upset when you lose a game ("Thirdly, I get really upset when I lose a game").
4. Your chess vision seems to be lacking ("What I am lacking is eyesight, chess is literally making my eyes hurt, I can't see every single piece and where they can go").
5. Chess ruins your day (chess makes me angry, sad, ruins my day, I don't relax or enjoy playing it at all").

6. And finally you wanted to be at the 5%, but you're stuck ("All I wanted was to get into the top 5% of players but I stalled so badly at 1400, and I am just fed up of losing.")

Okay, First and foremost, I must say, kudos to you for reaching the 1400, it's not an easy feat, in fact I believe that's better than 90% of chess players on this website. Secondly, I'm sorry for the mistreating you have endured on the website, It can be rough, I have gone through the same thing a couple of times, although it wasn't because of my play, but because of my nationality. The only thing we can do really against these people is to block and report them, and perhaps that's for the best, after all they're looking to get a reaction out of us. 

Let's talk about the first detail I listed:
You're having some bad days and seem to be stuck at 1400, I completely understand your situation. Chess progression is not a steady climb, it's more like a ladder; you get stuck for a while, learn from your mistakes, and then you move on because you have become better at the game. This happened to me many times, one of them was a few months ago, and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt it will pass. Just believe in yourself, keep studying, maybe take a 3-7 day break to relax your mind—especially if you work/study. Your opponent may beat you at the game, but you must never allow him to break your spirit! Steel yourself friend.

Now the second one:
You and I, we're no strangers to being on the receiving end of this type of behavior, and I believe it's even worst in OTB. There are a lot of bad individuals on all chess websites, but a lot of fantastic people too, which is why I must urge you to not disable your chat box. Just block and report the perpetrators, and try your best to not let them get inside your head.

Now the third detail:
I believe this is a result of your mindset, I mean, of course losing is a bad thing, in fact—it's a positive thing you have an aversion to it, after all, we improve on things because we dislike failing; if a person doesn't care they're failing they don't improve, they stagnate. But, failure is not all bad, you should see it as a chance to improve, all chess players begin weak, they improve by failing and learning, there is no learning without failing. It also doesn't help you that a large portion of self-esteem seems to be linked to how well you do in chess; the more concerned you are with your performance, the worst you will be at it.

Fourth:
Usually, when someone's chess vision is lacking, it's because they don't do a lot of puzzles, I can tell that's not your case because you do a lot of them. However, you do make a lot of mistakes in puzzles, an average of 1.5 mistakes per day. Also, you don't seem to be spending a lot of time in the puzzles, averaging 23 seconds per puzzles by looking at your most recent ones.
Puzzles are more than just fun exercises, they're guidelines to understanding the patterns that govern good play, and patterns are best memorized when analyzed thoroughly. Take your time with them, at least a minute, do only a few per day, especially because you're at a very high ELO in puzzles, so they're extra hard. Rushing things will prove to be a waste of your time, and patience will be your best friend, I guarantee it.

Fifth detail:
Chess can be frustrating, most—if not all chess players experience some level of stress by playing it, even Carlsen sweats a little sometimes, and have you seem him rage? Funniest thing I've ever seem.
 
I think the best thing for you if you think chess is having a negative impact in your life is to search for the reason deep inside of you. You say it's because you can't seem to reach the 5%, but is that really it? Or is it something IRL related, friends, family? Are you eating well? What about sleeping? Basically, chess reflects a person's personality, their spirit, their well-being. Think about it.

And lastly, the sixth one:
I understand your frustration bud, I believe we all do, all I can say is that you should keep trying to achieve your dream, just don't give up friend! 
Thank you, for coming to my TED talk.
(PS: if you find any mistakes in my English, it's because it's not my native language, and I'm a bit rusty.)

Ah yes, I know what you feel. I used to be an 1800 rated player, then I just suddenly lost it all, I got so angry I almost wanted to smash my laptop (I didn't though). Now look at me! 600!? Yeah, it's hard being 600.

While it seemed to be a very casual statement, did that sound like a reasonable goal for you?

If you are not enjoying the game, there is no point in playing. Take a break. Read about some of the great players of the past and spend some time just playing through their games. You will learn a lot that way and will be inspired to begin playing again.

There are a LOT of trolls and immature people on chess.com. Find a club with people who are not immature, people who will help you and give good advice, and join it. When you are ready to play again, play against members of your club.