I've been losing against patzers...

since before most of you were born.

You can't put a price on that kind of experience, and I graciously decided to share my vast store of knowledge with you!

That's right, I'm gonna be a coach!

What are  my credentials, you ask?

• Well, clearly rating is not important, I can find dozens of references by strong players in these forums where they claim just that. So, dont be fooled by my 1481, I'm potentially much stronger.

• I'm currently working on my Magnum Opus: SOMEDAY EVERYBODY WILL PLAY LIKE ME.I've  I already decided it will be a 1000 page book, but not just any book: most of the pages (maybe even all) will be left blank, for scribbling notes etc. That's the kind of innovative thinking you can expect from me.

• On this site,(maybe even worldwide) I'm the leading authority on 1 ... b5 as a viable and strong reply to 1 e4.

I'm not interested in teaching low-grades, 2000+ are welcome to apply, with your credit card details. I give special discount to titled players.

Hey, those are great credentials, but unless you invent some completely new opening that wins by force with white and give it your name, you're not getting my credit card details.

I've got exactly what you want: The AlxMaster Opening: