View : Chess.com is too lenient on verbal abuse and other reportable 'offenses'

Hey guys,

The goal of the thread is twofold, I really want you guys perception to make sure my own is not skewed and I want to make sure the point is driven across to chess.com because I assume community managers and/or admins do read the forums sometimes  

Let me preface by saying I have only been playing for about 1.5 years, so basically this makes me part of the 'boom' of chess which is great because it made so many people including me learn this extremely fun and rewarding game.
Back then the number of times I had the opportunity to report people for stalling or verbal abuse was probably around 1/50 or even less than that.

It is getting progressively worst and worst, to the point where in the last couple of weeks I am reaching a point where there is a reportable offense literally 15% or 1/7 times. I get emails from you guys every couple of days but literally no one has been banned and I'm 100% sure people who verbally abuse do not stop after warnings.

The toxicity is palpable. I read more toxicity in-game here than in most video games, which is pretty freaking insane when you think about it.

I know your business model is predicated toward active memberships in some capacity (I'm happy to give you guys money I love your site), but can you please be more strict in this regard?

For the other players, am I the only one who feels this way? lol (My rating hovers around 1100-1300)

Thank you for reading, have happy holidays!

i too was a victim of verbal abuses several times...and power abuse too caused by a false accusation. i am not playing victim or drama. being a good person doesn't guarantee you will be respected

Hi, 

Thanks for the post, if you do get any abusive messages in game or in general you should report it, 

https://support.chess.com/article/209-how-do-i-report-someone

Prefacing this:  It's not about getting a thick skin or protecting "snowflakes" (the favourite response from the narcissists that engage in this toxic behaviour).  But common decency, basic human respect is what is asked for.  This is a game, fun and intellectually stimulating at times, for about 95% of us, it's a hobby.

 That out of the way, I think everyone has been at the bad end of this kind of toxic exchange.  Some justify it saying they are just trolling and say things that just make them seem like down-right evil people.  Responding by insulting them is pointless, it doesn't affect them because they're narcissistic, they don't care  - Report-Block,  maybe enough times they will actually get a ban (who knows!).

 I personally don't want to block chat outright, because sometimes I meet nice people, and they're a pleasure to play.  

Swearing is one thing, like you drop your queen and you say something like "oh ....".  But swearing and cursing at someone is different.  But general toxic behaviour whether it's as benign as a "cry" emote when they are winning (or won), saying something unnecessary, has no room in chess (unless you know this person personally!)  this should actually be an absolute ban from chatting indefinitely with a tedious manual appeal process.  Banning from site might be a bit much, they're also people, evil, but people none the less.  But they shouldn't have the weapons to instill their ill behaviour on others though chat.  (Of course they can troll and stall, which there is a process for this too).

Generally speaking, one or two offenses of verbal abuse does not equate to a ban. Most likely they got a warning.

Sometimes people get angry when they usually are very chill.

Addressing the various offences that occur - is a big issue on the site.
Including the following:
things that happen in clubs here.  Often - they can't be reported - or not effectively.  Including if its superadmins and admins doing the offences.
Much of the time - its just simple trolling and spamming.
But there's this thing about 'operations'.
People gaining power to do wrongful things far beyond spamming/trolling.
Including covertly or quietly.
Includes crass dishonesty - power plays - assaults on people's blocking options - abuses using PM's (personal messages) - and coercion of various kinds.  Even 'passive-aggressive' behaviours.

Blocking is about as sinister as locking one's bathroom door ...
But its independence for members.  
'Predators' who impose on members - hate blocking.

Example - superadmin demands to know why a club member has blocked somebody.  Or any member.
This is a kind of entrapment.  A manoeuver that can have the effect of getting somebody to violate TOS (Terms of Service).
Variants:  Superadmin Obsessed with all members of 'admin team' to unblock each other and keep each other unblocked.
It requires a little thinking to realize that is wrongful.
Especially since the blocking feature on the site has no 'selective venue' options.  Blocking is global.  Which isn't the fault of members.
So superadmins are imposing on something that's often none of their business.
They may also demand to know who one has blocked in a club.
Should be private business.
Would be better if members had a way to report this to staff - and this kind of behaviour was/is discouraged.
Breaking the 'ethos' about blocking.
Many members are fearful of discussing wrongful admin team behaviour - even in separate clubs made for that purpose.  Using names of members and clubs.
People in other clubs might find out !   

Unfortunately - when talking about behaviours - people react by having those behaviours.  Or attacking those members discussing same.
Which increases advantage to 'offenders'.

I've had chat turned off since my first game. Makes life less stressful for sure

i report people everyday it does no good 

I saw somebody get muted in the Djokovic forum.
Just in the last couple of days.
I didn't report it but somebody did.  
The offender had it coming to him.  He was threatening a lot of people - even the owner of this website.  Plus lots of explicit-profanity offense too.
But update - he's back.  I don't think they saw all his posts ...

By waiting a bit before reporting - whoever gets 'encouraged' and then hangs himself.
Part of the process is not to get into 'extended pingpong' with whoever.
One can post around him.
Can be exploited - so as not to be making two or three posts in a row ...
the offender provides the 'placeholders' ...  

I can't relate to the verbal abuse to be honest.

Rarely does anyone say anything in the chat window, and when they do it's usually polite. 

The occasional "Wow, you really suck!" or whatever I either ignore or just say "grow up" and that's that.

Rage quitting (without resigning) is pretty common though. It feels good to click the "bad sport" thing, but I have no idea how many times that has to happen before that person is considered a bad sport by the system. 

I love when they get pissy and start cursing at me in the chat it actually makes my day... i mean how pathetic is your life that in order to make yourself feel better over a loss against someone of similar rating in chess you have to start swearing at your opponent? Just ignore it, chill and have a good laugh... ffs chess is a sport of the mind, how strong and resilient is one's mind if they're getting offended/bothered by randoms on the internet???

honestly same. i thought i was the only one 😂

ikr people get fazed too easily... the only reason I can see verbal abuse being a problem is if it's aimed at children, but even then, you can always make it a teaching opportunity and tell your kid the world is unfortunately full of bitter people and you can either let them into your mind rent-free with their shallow tantrums or you can easily and simply just be above all of it... I told my little cousin (who got a warning for offending the losers back lmao) that the best thing to do is to reply with "lol too funny" and then block them bc it makes them even more pissed

for sure telling my little brother that lol

Lol there was this guy who sent me a private chat once. Said something about “stupid American”, “watch your country burn”, and maybe “someone would stab me in the back, who knows?”

unfortunately I was inactive that week so when I got on he was banned already and I couldn’t say a witty comeback

And then there are the 'sockpuppets' and 'sleeper' accounts.
Somebody gets banned or muted.  Instantly they have another account ready to replace the first account.  Endlessly.
That's one of the reasons for the clubs -
Clubs can look to see if a member's been on chess.com for less than three months ...
But that's why the offenders have hundreds of 'sleeper' accounts.
To counter that.
Anyway - blocking is available as a first line of defense against offenders.
Unfortunately - there's a big 'ethos' against blocking on the website.
A lot of people want a medal "I never blocked anybody and you shouldn't have either" ...
The preposterousness and arrogance: 
They want to think blocking is bad so others should therefore think and do the same as them ....
Advantage - to offenders.  The result of that.

Most of the time in the game chat, I’m insulted by my opponent. Once I got called a “fat Kim Jong Un”?! Like, what?

wide kim jong un meme

I never even have chat on. I just have chat set to no one. It's much easier that way. .