What's the best way to start winning against human opponents?

Hello there, I'm very new to chess, been learning casually for over a month now. I learned a couple of theories, openings, middle games, and end games. I practiced against bots up to 700 rating at least once a day for the past month to build confidence, and a couple of days ago, finally braved myself up to face actual humans. I had placed myself in a very low elo to start up slow and building my experience in a certain learning curve, but I was absolutely devastated by every single one of my opponents. I thought a player around my elo should at least be blundering every so often, hanging up a piece of two, and have minimal understanding (just like I do) of basic chess theories, but it turns out that every player I faced was very strong, having perfect understanding of openings, and punishing every single beginner mistakes that I did (or at least that how it seemed to me). Now every last confidence I had built up is nearly gone, and I'm too scared to face another human opponents again and continuing my practice against bots.

So my question is, how do I practice to start winning against human opponents? What mindset do I need to have to be able to calmly face a real human opponent so that I can at least minimalize my mistakes and learning from them? And most importantly, how do I get an opponent around my level so that I can experience an even playing field instead of getting always destroyed? Thanks again.

Hello Bethranil.

As chess enthusiast, I would reply you with this premise. I saw your profile and your Elo point is 266 on rapid games. But you had played with users with an higher Elo score, which is really important. Elo system was developed to evaluate the skills and the ability of any chess player. When you play with a user which have a significant difference of points, is really hard that you can win against him/her. Try to play with users with your same Elo score. Click HERE , select a 10 minute game, the system will give you an oppenent with the same Elo score, and play. You will find an opponent with similar score which give you more opportunity to win. About the theory, yes can be helpful, but to be honest, is more important look the "battlefield" with the eyes of your opponent. Before move a piece, evaluate carefully if it's the correct choice. Try to think what it could happen if your opponent will move a specific bishop or a knight on a specific position on checkerboard. If you can't find a valid move which could help him/her to attack you or give him a chance on defence, this mean that you can move on that place.

Thank you so much for the tips! I'll try to keep that in mind! Never have I thought to view the battlefield from the opponents' side, I mean I certainly do view it that way to an extent but not as deep as I really should have. I'll try again soon!

But anyway is there a way I can get a similar level opponent for a 30 minute game? I figure 10 minute is not going to be enough for me because I'm really slow at thinking.

do tactics, then some more tactics, and then do even more tactics

I'm confused you say you are really slow thinking so you have to play 30 minute games but your games often seem over with you having 25 to 28 minutes on the clock. Did I look at the clock wrong?

Looking for friends to play and learn

@ItalianAlien21 Your advice is really good and to the point! Even if I did not start the topic I got a lot of insight from your answer! Thank you!

First pick an opening. Probably start with advanced London for white and Italian anti-fried liver attack for black.  Both openings will get you rapidly set up without having to think about it.  Also if you play the same opening each time you can make minor adjustments to your flaws rather than start from scratch each game.

Do puzzles involving forks, pins, blocks and  checkmate patterns. 

Don't hang your pieces.  Have something guarding your pieces.

Don't be afraid to trade when you are up in material.

You play all your games too fast !!!

Take your time to think !

You know what? This might be my problem. I always get this feeling that if I think for too long the opponent will uh... look me down or something like that. Also I had this experience of waiting nearly 10 minutes for a guy to move when actually it's him getting disconnected from the match, so I have this thought that if I think for too long, the engine will mark me as abandoning the game or disconnected.

ok. so at 266 elo all that is necessary to progress is to a. learn to checkmate with 2 queens and b. before playing a move,check if it loses something immediately and if your pponent has any pieces up for grabs.

I believe there may be special time limits on taking the earliest moves in a game that can result in abandoning if you don't meet them, but otherwise, you have to actually have internet connection problems to abandon with a disconnect.

Ben yeni başladım ve en iyisi olacağım bunu göreceksiniz...

anti fried liver is trash never recommend it. it's just a tempo down for black.

bots elo is off by a lot, I can beat 1600 bots with ease and 1800 when i try hard

Anti-fried liver is standard Italian with an escape square for the king to prevent back row checkmate which again is a standard move. The move order can be different to keep up the temp, but the vast majority of players at that level play the Fried Liver Attack as white so the Anti-Fried Liver is going to be the most common response.

or just play the giuoco piano instead of potentially  giving up the center to white

Hi! My name is Lauren Goodkind and I’m a chess coach based and chess book author based in California. 

I have tips to help you improve your chess skills so you can win more games.  

I recommend playing with a slow time control, such as game in 30 minutes.  You need time to think.  Beginners tend to make a lot of silly moves with very little time.  This makes sense since there’s a lot of pieces on the board.  
 

I also offer a  free beginner’s free eBook on my website, www.ChessByLauren.com in case you are interested. The book is about asking questions before each move.  
   Before each move, I highly encourage you ask questions before every move such as, “If I move here, is it safe?”, “Can I safely capture a piece?”, and more.  

Also consider all checks and captures on your side and also your opponent’s side. If you are past this stage, then find a forcing winning line.  

Learn basic tactics such as the fork, discovered attack, pin, and more.  I offer interactive puzzles on my website: https://www.chessbylauren.com/two-choice-puzzles.php  
I recommend two books for you: “50 Poison Pieces”   and “Queen For A Day: The Girl’s Guide To Chess Mastery.”  Both books are available on Amazon.com.  
If you are serious about chess, I highly recommend you hiring a chess coach to help you.  
I hope that this helps.  

     You are right that you need to player longer time controls--the longer the better. Chess IS difficult, so it will take time for you to learn to play well. Do not worry about choosing an opening repetoire yet, learning a lot of theoretical lines without understanding the purpose behind them will only be confusing. There are many suggestions on chess.com forums concerning the best lessons for beginners--just look at the "for beginners" section under "forums". Chess books for beginners that start with explanations of the most basic concepts (Tarrasch and Capablanca both wrote good ones) will be of more help in improving your game than playing a lot of games vs other weak players, as they don't know much about chess either. 

     Three things to remember: you are just beginning, you will learn through trial and error, so expect to make a lot of mistakes and lose often for a while. Higher rated players will beat you, but they will demonstrate better technique. Analyze your games with them to see how they exploit your errors. And don't think that your chess success or failure or rating is any indicator of your intellectual prowess. The best part of chess is getting to play better and better and more enjoyment comes with better understanding and seeing more in our great game.