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Best Chess jokes?
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A brilliant scientist, a musical virtuoso, and a chess master were offered a chance to go on a date with the world's most beautiful woman. The winner would be picked by what he would say:
The scientist would describe to her that she is the jewel of the known universe. The musician would serenade her with the thought that they would make beautiful music together. When they asked the chessplayer he inquired of her "does a date have a time limit?"
Mainline_Novelty hat geschrieben:
So, I had Garry Kasparov over for dinner last night. The problem was, we had a checkered tablecloth, and it took him two hours to pass the salt.
Very good one :D
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A passed pawn comes home from work one day with a fancy new car. When his wife asks if they are able to afford it, he replies, "Relax, I'm about to be promoted!"
| In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say: "What a clever dog!" But the man protests: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!" |
Mainline...............that was great............this is a great thread...keep em coming.
A shrink asked his patient what he his dreams were about. Playing chess, he replied. Every night? Asked the intrigued doctor. "Of course stupid!" I don't want to lose on time."
This pun is often heard at Christmas time. I've even seen it on Christmas cards.
A group of chess players checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why?” they asked, as they moved off.
Because,” the manager said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
(If you don't get it, clicking this link may help.)
Foxtrot cartoon from July 28, 2013:
(Bill Amend MUST be a chessplayer. Foxtrot has had MANY chess-related strips over the years.)
MrEdCollins wrote:
Foxtrot cartoon from July 28, 2013:
(Bill Amend MUST be a chessplayer. Foxtrot has had MANY chess-related strips over the years.)
Post some more.
JMB2010 wrote:
A passed pawn comes home from work one day with a fancy new car. When his wife asks if they are able to afford it, he replies, "Relax, I'm about to be promoted!"
lol
Conflagration_Planet wrote:
MrEdCollins wrote:
Foxtrot cartoon from July 28, 2013:
(Bill Amend MUST be a chessplayer. Foxtrot has had MANY chess-related strips over the years.)
Post some more.
I've seen this one more than once, but it's still my favorite:
"I was playing chess with my friend and he said ‘Let’s make this more interesting’. So we stopped playing chess."
MrEdCollins wrote:
Conflagration_Planet wrote:
MrEdCollins wrote:
Foxtrot cartoon from July 28, 2013:
(Bill Amend MUST be a chessplayer. Foxtrot has had MANY chess-related strips over the years.)
Post some more.
Didn't know there were that many cartoons about it. :)
- Are you retarded? You have just blundered your queen in your 4th move!
+ Sssh, I have just taken him out of the book!
You wanna here a funny joke? ... Checkers ...
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Margaret: Chess has saved my marriage!
Sally: Really? I didn't know you played chess!
Margaret: I don't. But my husband does!