yeah, we had a Garry Kasparov over for dinner last night. Problem is, we had a checkered tablecolth, and it took him 2 hours to pass the salt.
chess jokes
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Hi kid_of_chess
Good thing Kasparov thought he had the white pieces of else he would never had passed the salt.
I think I would never stop laughing after post number 4 and 1.
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say:
"What a clever dog!"
But the man protests:
"No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
2 friends see themselves by the street and one of them says: - My wife says that if tomorrow I go to the chess match, it will take my children and it will leave me. The other friend asks to him: - And what you will do? And the other answers to him: - E4, how always! |
Sep 8, 2010
0
#10
10binary wrote:
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
I thought all jokes were funny and understood them but I do not understand the point of the qouted joke. can anybody tell me what the point is.
- My wife says that if tomorrow I go to the chess match, it will take my children and it will leave me.
The funniest thing thus far.
Sep 8, 2010
0
#12
10binary wrote:
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
bobbyDK wrote: I thought all jokes were funny and understood them but I do not understand the point of the qouted joke. can anybody tell me what the point is.
The Christmas Song
Chess nuts boasting in an Open Foyer (i.e. lobby or hall)
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know that Santa's on his way;
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother's child is going to spy,
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Christmas to you
Spartan Chess
xkcd
Also from xkcd
[COMMENT DELETED]
A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."