Chess Puns?
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Depending on how excited you get by the game, you might think of it as pawnography...
All you can eat pawnffet? its like buffet
what do you call a shy pawn?
A coy pawn
When you make a brilliant knight move say "do you know where I learned that move?", then answer "Night School!"
what do you call a bishop that is not straight?
An Arch Bishop...
I got a whole bunch of these!
I would tell you a good joke about chess but it has a weak opening
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geekwalrus wrote:
I would tell you a good joke about chess but it has a weak opening
Good one
Tal pawns
passed pwned
or my roomates favorite Blunderfull
Jsmucker wrote:
Tal pawns
passed pwned
or my roomates favorite Blunderfull
I suppose if this thread is going to be revived from the dead, knight as well embrace it.
I tried to buy my opponent's king, but apparently no checks are accepted.
Nov 19, 2013
0
#33
Ok here is a very bad one
Internetchess: I lost the game, but I came good in the opening
You've done well, guys, take the rest of the Najdorf.
Nov 19, 2013
0
#35
tactician wrote:
The great chess grandmaster Alexander Alekhine was once asked by a playful interviewer whether he preferred the queen on the board or on the bed. "It depends," he replied, "on the position."
Brilliant!
Nov 19, 2013
0
#36
I also like a story by Jan Timman. He is watching a game and next to him stands Boris Spassky. Then Spassky starts quitetly humming the song by the Beatles 'Love me like you did the night before'...
Timman is amused and surprised until he notices that Knight to b4 is in fact the winning move :)
dashkee94 wrote:
You've done well, guys, take the rest of the Najdorf.
This is my favourite
Nov 19, 2013
0
#38
Want-To-Fork wrote:
I could probalby come up with 50 sexual ennuendos using the words "fork, sckew and pin" but im trying to give it up.
Its hard.. soooo hard!
Perhaps you just need to use new words/phrases for a challenge/variety....position, tension, pressure, the back rank, flipping the board for a more interesting view, queening, any particular piece that your queen might prefer.....mine has a thing for k/nights....capturing....I could keep going for quite some time. Can't help it. I'm a twice over English major and I teach--double entendre is in my blood. Lol
Oh--you might also consider more narrative scenarios. Depending upon my opponent, of course, I may beg mercy for my queen when she is captured, that sort of thing. Of course, when she's captured by a knight, she is likely to make requests. Again, only with the right/certain opponents. Regardless of her sense of adventure, she is not without her dignity. ;)
Always nice to run into your own kind, eh? Chess can be such a sexy game. :)
Nov 19, 2013
0
#40
Tal order? Perhaps. The question is, can your men bring their king a satifying endgame? And can they do it without constantly relying on the queen to give them a hand?
It makes me nuts when a man reigns just because he's lost his queen. You learn a great deal about an opponent in the course of a game. And naturally, nothing trumps a nice OTB game.