chess rap

ill start it off like this...

" i attack too vicious like 2 bishops on the chessboard, sharper than a sword"

From the first move I find my hitch, blockading your shit like nimzovich.
Loading up my Kalashnikov, son your pieces are dropping off.
Sacrificing men left and right, can this get any lower? oh here it comes, SUPRISE!, they're YOUR MEN!, Call me Tartakower.
Say what about your bishops? huh? don't mean to pull your cord, but I got a pin and Reinfeld reckons it's mighter than that sword.

Trophy to anyone who gets all the references

Ill just post the answers, partially cause I wan to bump this thread:

First Verse pretty obvious= Nimzovich-'My system' reference.

Second verse also obvious= Kalashnikov sicilian opening

Third verse= Reference to tartakower quote, "it is always better to sacrifice your opponents men"

Last verse was a reference firstly to chessy's post and then to a Reinfeld quote, "The pin is mightier than the sword"

My Queen is pretty mean....

She sweeps the board clean....

Chessy's wing gambit is fab...

Dare not that pawn to grab..

Chiseled Mans got me two to one.

But man I had some fun.

My ghetto fianchetto dishevels any competitors, like veselin, topalov, i'm bettin that your hopes of draw are gone, your c-pawn washed up like sea prawns and I finally defiled your d-file desires WRONG your attack was STRONG - my reaction, dancing in the night the knights strike, advancing, your rooks is took and then you look to see, you gettin lit up by my scary pair of bishops teehee

This thread seems to have started while Jaylove was still around. I wonder how he didn't pick up on this and hasn't provided the rap song with a chorus about merciless "whoopin' & victimizin' ".

You are right jaaas!

Great bars by Panaka!

My passed pawn is fast gone, resign now cos you aint gonna last long, I'll spawn pain with my pawn chain, I'll make you blunder, sac my knight like thunder, open up your kingside and plunder, and you can only watch and wonder as your position buckles under, and now you're full o' stress let's turn to bullet chess, and if you think you can make a fight, then you can shake with fright when I take your knight, go off and make your flight, your lack of sight is black and white, just face it you got whacked tonight

I've padded this out into a full rap song, I think I'll call it "Snake of Pawns", it uses chess as a metaphor for revolution.

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My passed pawn is fast gone, resign now cos you aint gonna last long, I'll spawn pain with my pawn chain, I'll make you blunder, sac my knight like thunder, open up your kingside and plunder, and you can only watch in wonder as your position buckles under, and now you're full o' stress let's turn to bullet chess, and if you think you can make a fight, then you can shake with fright when I take your knight, go off and make your flight, your lack of sight is black and white, just face it you got whacked tonight

(CHORUS, ATMOSPHERIC BACKGROUND MUSIC)
The old king dies at the break of dawn
Hunted down by the snake of pawns
Lords and princes will ache and mourn
At sunrise our free state is born

The e-pawn made up his mind, made the push to e3 and gave up his life, destroyed the pawn structures, left the defences all ruptured, the kingside all punctured, the white army general would sure suffer, he saw the threat, started to fret, he broke out in sweat, the revolution would be victorious yet, the black knight looked up and saw the sac site, he knew would finally crack white, the queen could be seen, they pinned her down and ripped out her spleen, the rook was took, it's written in the books, and with one final pawn check, the king's spinal cord's wrecked, into a spiral vortex

(CHORUS)
(Music fades at the end with sounds of thunder)

You have a career in writing rap lyrics lol

You think the game's a draw, but that's cuz your logic flawed. Before you know it I'll promote my passed pawn like a boss, and all your hopes will be dead and gone, and the game is lost.

Some random multies

pawn promotion / spawn commotion / sauna lotion / horny motion 

back ranked / black spanked

bug-house / drug spouse 

See how I use my rook to wreck havoc: I castle then sac it, and when I wrap up my attack it's like magic, you're so mad cuz you can't even grasp what happened.