Funniest chess joke I've ever heard


I'm going to be using this joke but replace "chess" with an activity I find undesirable. Example: I was watching baseball with my friend, and he said, "Let's make this more interesting." So we stopped watching baseball and beat each other on the head with bricks until we slipped into deep comas.

I once had lunch with Garry Kasparov. He took me to a nice little Italian restaurant with black-and-white checked tablecloths on all the tables. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.