Jokes with chess!

Hi all! I was listening to GM Yasser Seirawan and IM Hans Bohm who were talking about the games on the radio. I didn't listen all of it but I did catch a funny joke... okay let's start! Oh and this is not meant offensive to wards anyone but I just thought it would be nice to share! If it's too offensive please tell me!

One of GM Yasser Seirawan's friends was organizing a RoundRobin Tournament and was inviting GM Igor who came from Russia.

Yasser's friend: "Hello Igor! I'm organizing a Roundrobin tournament and I'd like you to come!" 

Igor: "yu-us"?

Yasser's friend: "And there will be a 20.000 dollar prize fund!"

Igor: "yu-us?"

Yasser's friend: "Your flight will also be booked!"

Igor: "yu-us?"

Yasser's friend: "Also we'll look after hotel and food!"

Igor: "yu-us?"

Yasser's friend: "Also free drinks!'

Igor: "FREE DRINKZ???? Igor will come! Igor will play!" 

A man was travelling by train and he had a chessboard in front of him and was studying a game.

His fellow passenger was looking at him and said.... "ah you play chess, that 's nice let us play a game. " The man replied " I have to warn you beforehand, I am a very strong player in the town where I live people call me the little Euwe. " His fellow passenger smiled a little and replied "Oh well lets see how it goes".  They started to play and little Euwe was loosing in a terrible way. After resigning he said " I do not understand , how can you play so strong" . His opponent replied "Well they call you the little Euwe and you played not bad, but you lost because I am the big Euwe"

haha

Funny one @herdwars!

Saudi Arabia Bans Chess...

An Australian chess player walks into a restaurant. He asks the waiter if he wanted to play chess. The waiter said ok. They started playing, and the Australian finished eating. He then tried to get a check on the king. When he did, He asked for his Check. He said, "Check, Mate." The waiter said, "That isn't checkmate, I can just take your queen with my pawn." He then said, "I was asking for my check, mate."

Very good!

An amateur is playing Max Euwe and to compensate for the difference in strength Max Euwe gives up a rook. So he starts with the rook on h1 removed. After a number of moves the amateur has played so well that checkmating the e1 king seems unavoidable and Max Euwe starts to think about  how to rescue. And suddenly he comes with a very ingeneous solution, he plays Ke1-g2.

The amateur asks surprised what are you doing, thats not a legsl move. Euwe answers : well i just castled with the ghost of my h1-rook. And he saves and wins the game. The amateur wants a revanche and again Euwe gives up his h1 rook. After a couple of moves the smateur plays Bh1, and the next move Bg2 again. This time the amateur wins and Euwe says : Well pkayed but I donot understand your move Bh1 and next Bg2 again. The smateur replies: well I just wanted to make sure you couldn t castle with the ghist of your rook, so by Bh1 I removed it.

lol, nice one, but its kg1, not kg2

On the subject of chess jokes, I'm a cartoonist and have created a series of cartoons dedicated to chess called "Chess Peace" following the hilarious adventures of the chess pieces both on and off the chessboard, which I will be publishing in and up and coming book. Feel free to check out my facebook page www.facebook.com/chesspeacecartoons  warning, these cartoons are very funny and may induce fits of uncontrollable laughter. If symptoms persist, please breathe deeply lol!

LOL!

Hmmm, a chess amateur was taking a cruise vacation. When he goes to the swimming pool he sees Magnus Carlsen sunbathing at the edge of the pool, a few meters further he discovers Sergej Karajakin. He aporoaches them both and tells them  I play a little bit of chess but I bet that if I play you both  blind  I at least make one point. But dince I am playing blind I want to decide on the color I will pkay agsinst the both of you. I bet for 1000 dollar each. Carlsen and Karjakin accept the bet. And Carlsen and Karjakin are placed in seperate rooms . The amateur is in a third room. There is a assistent carrying the written moves back and forth to the players.

The amateur now let Carlsen know he will play him with black and he expects a move.

When the assisten artives eith Carlsrn s move he sends him to Karjakin  to tell Karjakin that he will take white and to hand over Carlsrns move. By repeating this proces the moves of Karjakin go to Carlsen and Carlsons move go to   Karjakin. Its easy to see that the amateur in this way makes at least one point agsinst them and do gsins 2000 dollar.

nice!

he was analyzing the position on how to pass the salt lol

 lol