Ladya79's Chess Song(s)

I might post more if you like this one. It's called "Exchange/Shakhchange", sung to the tune of Lady Gaga's "Judas". My handle on gameknot.com is "shakhmaty", so here's what a "shakhchange" is:

shakh'change (n.) An unsuccessful attempt to exchange pieces with an opponent, made by shakhmaty/Ladya79, in which the aforementioned player loses a pawn or piece. Not to be confused with "sacrifice" in any shape or form. 

Got it? Good! Now, here's my song:

EXCHANGE/SHAKHCHANGE (with apologies to Lady Gaga and "Judas")

Ex-change, shakhcha-uh-uh! Exchange, shakhcha-uh-uh!

Ex-change, shakhcha-uh-uh! Exchange/shakhchange...

Call me to the board; I am ready! If you win, with my hair I'll wash your feet,

Forgive you for a move that is insane (well, no I won't),

Even after three times you checkmate me! 

(A-ah, wow! A-ah, wow!) I'll bring you down, bring you down, down!,

(A-ah, wow! A-ah, wow!) Your king has no crown, king has no crown!

I'm just a holy fool, trading pieces with you. 

I was only trying to exchange, baby,

But now I'm -2! This game can be so cruel,

'Cause I think I did a 'shakhchange', baby!

(Who-o-o-o-oa) I was trying to ex-cha-ange, not so strange!

(Who-o-o-o-oa) But I did a 'shakhchange'--must rearrange!

Ex-change, shakhcha-uh-uh! Exchange, shakhcha-uh-uh!

Ex-change, shakhcha-uh-uh! Exchange/shakhchange...

I don't trade pieces so accurately. Perhaps I should put the chess set away.

I've learned chess is like a brick. It can--build me up or sink my dead body!

(A-ah, wow! A-ah, wow!) You brought me down, brought me down, down,

(A-ah, wow! A-ah, wow!) My king has no crown, king has no crown!

I'm just a holy fool, trading pieces with you. 

I was only trying to exchange, baby,

I'm -5, it's true, so I'll resign to you,

Because I did one more 'shakhchange', baby!

(Who-o-o-o-oa) I was trying to ex-cha-ange, not so strange!

(Who-o-o-o-oa) But I did a 'shakhchange'--must rearrange!

Ex-change, shakhcha-uh-uh! Exchange, shakhcha-uh-uh!

Ex-change, shakhcha-uh-uh! Exchange/shakhchange...

Guess what! I have another chess song for you, about my most favorite defense. I absolutely love to play it, and am addicted to it, but it's REALLY, REALLY HARD. This song is dedicated to paul211 and ifhindsights2020, masters of this opening:

SCHEVENINGEN 2012 (Sung to the tune of Lady Gaga's "Alejandro")

I’ve got both eyes on the chessboard, so I won’t look at you, won’t look at you.

You hide tactics "en su bosillo…"

You’ve got a halo around your King, and around you.

You know that I love this, boy--if I win, I will rejoice!

A defense I’ve got to choose. Nothing to lose…

Except the game! Except the game! Scheveningen!

Too hard to play, too hard to play Sicilian. 

I’m done with this. Don’t want to touch. 

I’ll just play 1. …e5 and hush!

Don’t call my name, don’t call my name once again. 

Scheveningen, Scheveningen! (c5, d6, Nf6, e6...)

Variant: Sicilian. Variant: Sicilian. (Don’t forget cxd4!)

Scheveningen, Scheveningen! (c5, d6, Nf6, e6...)

Variant: Sicilian. Variant: Sicilian. (Don’t forget cxd4!)

Stop! Please! Just let me go, Scheveningen. Just let me go…

On the chessboard, I’m just a baby,

But I’ll defend like a dad, just like a dad!

And all those games that I’ve lost before you--

They’re not the Scheveningen’s fault, ‘cause I’m just bad!

You know that I love this, boy--if I win, I will rejoice!

A defense I’ve got to choose. Nothing to lose…

Except the game! Except the game! Scheveningen!

Too hard to play, too hard to play Sicilian. 

I’m done with this. Don’t want to touch. 

I’ll just play 1. …e5 and hush!

Don’t call my name, don’t call my name once again. 

Scheveningen, Scheveningen! (c5, d6, Nf6, e6...)

Variant: Sicilian. Variant: Sicilian. (Don’t forget cxd4!)

Scheveningen, Scheveningen! (c5, d6, Nf6, e6...)

Variant: Sicilian. Variant: Sicilian. (Don’t forget cxd4!)

Don’t seduce me, don’t seduce me, Sche-ve-nin-gen. 

Don’t call my name, don’t call my name, le Sicilien!

Too hard to play, too hard to play, Sche-ve-nin-gen. 

I’m done with this. Don’t want to touch--Sicilian. 

I’ve lost the game! I’ve lost the game, Scheveningen!

Too hard to play, too hard to play Sicilian. 

I’m done with this. Don’t want to touch. 

I’ll just play 1. …e5 and hush!

Don’t call my name, don’t call my name once again. 

Scheveningen, Scheveningen! (c5, d6, Nf6, e6...)

Variant: Sicilian. Variant: Sicilian. (Don’t forget cxd4!)

Scheveningen, Scheveningen! (c5, d6, Nf6, e6...)

Variant: Sicilian. Variant: Sicilian. (Don’t forget cxd4!)

Scheveningen…

I know the first 7 moves or so, as either White or Black. Beyond that...:P no.

That's genius, Amy!

I fear the hypnotic effect of Lady Ga Ga! I hate her music, because it sounds so polished, studio-like, and something else that I can't put my finger on. I do like her free/bisexual sex stuff, since I imagine the world is bisexual, but I still feel manipulated, which I can't stand!

But the chess lyrics are perfect with the song

OMG! I kept trying to push your chess lyrics into "Poker Face"! And it f*cking works! That is hilarious!

"Facepalm Habit" (About a silly opening, sung to the tune of Adele's "Rumor Has It")

You, you're on White, but I bet you'll never open like I will.

You are a stranger. True, we have no history--else I can't remember. 

Sure, you played e4. Is your second move really what you want?

Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds!

You made a fool out of you, and boy, it's bringing you down, 

'Cause when you start out, you've got to go for the core,

So please do not play Qh5 right after e4! (Facepalm habit!)

Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit!

I am twice your age, so I guess you probably think I'm an old maid. 

I heard you were higher than me,

But you're making opening moves you shouldn't be. 

When your queen creeps out with nothing around--

Haven't you heard Grandmasters? 

Bless your soul! You've got your head in the clouds.

To make a fool out of me, that opening won't bring me down.

'Cause when I start out, I always go for the core,

But you are playing Qh5 right after e4! (Facepalm habit!)

Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit!

Your first two moves meant to attack me

Constitute an opening that I cannot bear to see. Just 'cause I saw it,

Doesn't me-e-ean I'll fall for it.

People play crazy things!

Just 'cause I saw it, don't mean I'll fall for it,

Just 'cause you played it...(Facepalm habit!)

Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit! Facepalm habit! (x4)

So please don't play 2. Qh5 right after e4...

That's brilliant!