Chess Depression

Ive started playing chess 3 months ago and I love the game. The intricacy and simplicity drew me in, I started playing every day, regardless of loss I wanted to learn and grow because I know it would help me become a more logical person as a whole.

I humbled myself heavily, i went from 250 rating in 10 min and a month later i climb to 500, another month puts me at 750. Now most recently I finally get to a peak of 880. But lately Ive been taking losses extremely emotionally…

I take it personally to the point of self hatred and thinking some horrible things about myself. I hate how tilted I get and how angry I get. I take out my frustrations on myself and my inability to play brilliant moves and read proper frames when I should be getting it.

I watch a lot of videos of openings, ideas, psychology and I get up to 1800 in puzzles and feel solid. But all of this just to tank 100 elo on a lose streak. My freaking head hurts from this tilt I hate feeling like stupid trash from losing. Im scared to take a break because i dont want to decay mentally and lose my edge in the game.

I only ever feel fulfilled when I win. Normally im mature and get that losing is part of life and i have been able to shake it off plenty of times before. However my desire and passion to win and fulfill my own goals and expectations of myself , ie achieving at least 1500 rating in chess ASAP has been the only thing i think about. Any time I lose streak and stray away from that goal I feel like I am nothing better than a piece of trash. All i want to do is win as fast as possible

Nobody has their rating rise forever. Everyone experiences periods of consolidation.

You didn't mention reviewing each game thoroughly afterwards to help you understand what you have done. Most people think it is an essential ingredient for progress.

Usted llego a un nivel de estancamiento No se frustre Siga jugando mejorara y su nivel va seguir subiendo Pero debe acostumbrarse a perder de vez en cuando Dedicarle tiempo a estudiar mas el juego ayuda También sirve analizar las partidas que uno pierde y ver en que nos equivocamos De las derrotas también se aprende Y sobretodo juegue por diversión

I've written several posts aimed at helping players like you who might not be able to afford a coach. Here are some links to those posts:

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1. How to Improve at Chess: Ultimate Guide
[https://www.chess.com/forum/view/for-beginners/how-to-improve-at-chess-ultimate-guide]
2. Jumpstart Your Chess Journey: Proven Tips for Beginners [https://www.chess.com/forum/view/for-beginners/jumpstart-your-chess-journey-proven-tips-for-beginners]
3. From Good to Great: Mastering Piece Arrangement on the Board [https://www.chess.com/forum/view/chess-lessons/from-good-to-great-mastering-piece-arrangement-on-the-board]
4. Dominating the Board: Mastering Aggressive Moves in Chess
[https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/dominating-the-board-mastering-aggressive-moves-in-chess]
5. Outsmarting Opponents: Creating and Exploiting Weaknesses
[https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/outsmarting-opponents-creating-and-exploiting-weaknesses]
6. Piece Domination 101: How to Neutralize Your Opponent's Forces
[https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/piece-domination-101-how-to-neutralize-your-opponents-forces]
7. Mastering Piece Trades: Transforming the Chess Battlefield [https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/mastering-piece-trades-transforming-the-chess-battlefield]
8. Practical Endgames Demystified: Techniques for Victory [https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general-chess-discussion/practical-endgames-demystified-techniques-for-victory-95628525]

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I hope you find these resources helpful in your chess journey. If you ever feel like you'd benefit from personalized coaching, feel free to reach out to me. Keep up the good work and remember, every game is a learning opportunity!

@1

"Ive started playing chess 3 months ago" ++ OK

"I love the game" ++Good.

"I started playing every day" ++ Good.

"regardless of loss I wanted to learn and grow"
++ You do not grow regardless of losses, but because of losses. Each loss is a lesson. Take it.

"Ive been taking losses extremely emotionally" ++ Channel the negative emotions of a loss towards a positive goal: improving. Analyse your lost games thoroughly and candidly.

"my inability to play brilliant moves" ++ Chess is not about playing brilliant moves, it is about avoiding mistakes.

"I watch a lot of videos of openings" ++ Worthless waste of time.

"I get up to 1800 in puzzles" ++ Go up more.

"a lose streak"
++ Avoid lose streaks: whenever you lose a game, stop playing and analyse it first.

"I only ever feel fulfilled when I win" ++ That is a wrong attitude. You can only win because your opponent makes the last mistake.

"my desire and passion to win" ++ Focus on not losing first. Wins will follow.

"achieving at least 1500 rating in chess ASAP" ++ Always check your intended move is no blunder before you play it. Think about what moves are possible. Reason which is the best move. Now imagine this move played on the board. Now check it is no blunder: does not lose any material, does not get you checkmated... Only then play it.

"All i want to do is win as fast as possible" ++ Focus on not losing first.

The opening poster opens his heart and tells us he's suffering from depression and sends out a cry for help, justbefair who I think is a moderator, instead of showing compassion and offering hope and a show of support, instead compounds ths issue by highlighting a blunder in one of games FFS, talk about a lack of emotional intelligence.

I think it is normal to get down on yourself when not performing as well as you might like. Other members offered some good advice, so try some of their suggestions. I'd like to add that life is a learning experience, and the day you stop learning is the day you start dying. Hang-in there and keep learning chess; go easy on yourself; we can't all be Grand Masters, but we can all continue to learn and grow as humans and as chess players. Sometimes I'll take some time-off from chess and let my brain and body recuperate. I generally do a little bit better after a period of rest.

There is no question to me that chess creates an emotional feeling associated with losing that is unlike other games. There are lots of posts about this over the years and you are not alone. I still struggle with it and wonder whether chess is a positive influence in my life or not. I don’t really do anything to improve and I just do it to relax and have fun. I have no ambition around it, but my rating to me matters (and only to me because no one else really knows or cares that I play). I can only say that I am less bothered by losing or tilting than I used to be, and I actually consider that a far greater achievement than anything I’ve done in chess. I’m still on the fence of whether chess is a positive or negative in life, but I enjoy playing every day. I’d say keep your expectations low and know that your chess ability is only a reflection of your chess ability, nothing more. If you learn to manage the emotions around it that is a win!

Here's how I handle bad streaks: I start playing crazy, offbeat openings like the Latvian Gambit, Evans Gambit and Dutch Defense. If I lose, big deal: I was screwing around. If I win, it's even more awesome because I gave my opponent a greater than average chance to win. Also, offbeat openings can make for fun games and remind me that chess is really just about having fun.

Being able to evaluate why trades are beneficial or not for your position is huge, scan for checks, captures, attacks before u make a move. Play longer time controls and focus on identifying candidate moves and ask yourself the pros and cons of each. Look at what your opponent is trying to do and u need to have awareness of light/dark square weaknesses. Learn to evaluate a position and train your tactics. Don’t focus on openings, they literally do not matter at all below 2200. You can freestyle and still win games at that elo lol.

Jill_St_James That’s a completely inappropriate statement for this forum, maybe try and keep it chess related next time? I understand it’s hard to keep politics out of discussion but this is a talk about chess and not even close to politically related.

I've been playing for over two decades. In that time, I've learned one universal rule about chess:

You are going to lose. And you are going to lose often.

This is necessary. Every loss is meant to teach you something - to highlight a fault in your playing - to give you the chance to learn from it, and to become stronger as a result.

Embrace your losses. Every one is a stepping stone for your improvement.

I'm a 2300-rated player, these days, because I've lost thousands of games - and tried my best to learn from them.

Defeat is how you grow.