I am scared of losing elo

I did the same thing. Daily is better for blood pressure LOL.

Instead of focusing on outcome-based goals like gaining Elo points, set process-oriented goals such as improving your opening repertoire, avoiding blunders or practicing endgames.

I have the opposite feeling. I don't like it when I gain points that are umerited (although technically fine I guess).. winning on a game where the other person was beating me but he got disconnected or ran out of time, beating an overrated player (e.g. a 1900 I played last month (I never played a 1900 ever) and beating him bc he was making all these quick shallow moves in a 30min rapid. Stuff like that. I feel that sensation of imposter syndrome. On time controls, I would quickly offer draw or even resign to someone beating me but down to his less than a min. Anyways, just me. I love it if I play a low rated person (I dont care if he's sandbagger, newly rated, or perhaps using assistance, if the game is hard fought and I learn a thing or two, I am happy to see my rating drop.

I mean 1900s arnt overated they are just really bad at positional chess and hang a piece by move ten like every other game but yes beginners or lower rated people can make things interesting but actually I only manually challenge those types of people usually I play with the setting -25 + all on the random pool

I didn't say 1900s are overrated. I was making an example of an overrated person who I played who happened to be 1900.

https://www.chess.com/blog/Danielkaas94/beyond-the-elo-embracing-failure-in-the-game-of-chess-and-life