A question for those who teach/coach children

I wonder how many teachers of chess also teach their young students how to behave properly at the board and how to accept victory and defeat ?

Do you think such things should also be taught ?  Why or why not ?

I teach my students how to behave, and to use dignity and respect the other person at all times.  - that should be covered - as part of chess etiquette.

   many of the kids need only a gentle reminder - to use dignity and restraint, in victory and to be gracious in defeat (while resolving privately to study that opening or middlegame position where they made an error and never lose to it again).

besides that, if you rub it in, when you win, the other person will resolve never to let you enjoy that again, and will find the cleverness or resources to whip you the next time....

The hardest parts are navigating the line between excitement and exuberance at winning and bad sportsmanship.  Its good to win and to be happy about it.  The other is controlling the natural outlets children normally use for excitement, stress, and such which is movement and vocalizing.  Ever see an excited kid who stayed still?

I emphasize good sportsmanship.

In my teaching to classrooms full of kids, age 5-10, I teach the pawn game the first day. After they learn how pawns move and are playing, I interrupt their games to tell them that I forgot to tell them the most important part: before the game begins, shake hands and tell your opponent good luck.

After observing inappropriate actions from parents of some kids that I coach at a tournement, I made a change in my afterschool club. The club always began with a short lesson, then free play and individual instruction. Now, I end our time with a second short lesson so the parents will come into to the library and wait. I use this time to offer a few lessons, especially at the start of the year, concerning good sportsmanship and appropriate tournament behavior for children competitors and their parents.

The first thing i teach the kids i work with is to shake hands and wish your opponent good luck.  I have yet to have any "attitude" problems.  Its a simple sign of respect and courtesy that youre never to old to learn.  

Understanding that  losing and winning must both come with the right attitude is one of the most important lessons that a chess teacher can teach a student.

I've seen kids break down and cry when they lose, intimidate and/or cause distractions over the board, slam clocks with pieces, cheat and alter the results on a wall chart, call up friends asking for advice outside a tournament hall during a game and repeatedly offer draws in losing positions.  

I don't care if the student happens to be the next Fischer ... if their coach cannot get the very basic concept of "behaving" across, they're not teachers, just people looking for a paycheck. 

 Very good post shivsky.  This is what seperates the good teached from the bad teacher.  The first question my karate teacher asks new students is "Why are you here?"

If the answer is something along the lines of im here for physical and mental discipline he will teach them.  If the answer is something along the lines of I want to kick butt, he tells them thats not what he teaches but there are plenty of schools that will. 

One self described "bad boy" said there was no way my teacher could make him leave until he was ready.  That lasted about 10 seconds before was was forcibly removed.  Like he was told.  Tatts, muscles, sunglasses, and a bad attitude dont make you tough, nor do they make you a man.

Though on the flip-side, I've spent an entire lesson hour teaching a 5 year old girl on how to deal with the typical chess-brat.  She had a whole tournament go south after an older kid bullied her and made her feel bad. Her parents actually wanted me to give her "anti-bully" strategies. 

A badly behaved kid is bad enough. God forbid the little stinker is actually good at chess ... he'll have a fan club of kids who want to "be" him. I've seen this often in the Dallas chess circles and it scares me.   

I dont have the patience to work with very young kids. I can work with teens but not with kids not yet in their teens. My wife likes working with the younger kids so we complement each other well......

Many years ago (in 1972) I received permission from the principal of my elementary school (located in a high crime area in New York City) to hold a "Chess Week Seminar" after school hours during which I was able to pique the curiousity of a couple of hundred students. Initially explaining this was a "war game without physical violence," I succeeded in keeping the students' attention by comparing the chess pieces to the plastic soldiers they loved to play war games with. By the end of the week, about 50 of them had listened to and watched all the "lectures" and demonstrations, and about 30 of these expressed a desire to continue. Given a classroom and a very small budget for a couple of extra sets, I was able to guide them through the basics of the game. It was no problem conveying the good sportsmanship aspect, since many of them had been exposed to this in other after school activities such as karate, boxing, wrestling and judo. The only real "problem" I had in this area was getting them to try to keep their comments to themselves during a game; they just got too excited with certain moves and positions during the course of a game and had to vent their emotions. I felt this was relatively harmless so as not to make a big deal about, and although there were occasional arguments, there was never any display of violence - not even a thrown piece or overturned board!

Sounds like they need their ______ blistered. 

I'm much better at teaching the kids at my school etiquette than I am teaching them chess.  Most of my students are good winners, and don't rub it in or gloat, but I am dealing with a few poor losers who could do better with not blaming their loss on the AC, etc. 

I've got to admit, it's hard for an educator now to say "Get over it" or "Buck up"  even if that's exactly what needs to be said.

i enjoy teaching kids age means nothing rowdy or nice you need to compliment there personality and show them what will benifit them

i allways get my grandkids to behave thru mutual benifit      at a certain age they resent having affection  diverted to another kid  so i allways said lets get them invoved too  usually works      

if there brats age three or thirty

I think this is the parents job.  Teacher should never be a replacement for parents, but sometimes kids need it.

If they don't behave I'm not even going to tell them how to properly move the horsie