chess etiquette - the rematch

So is it good chess etiquette to allow a rematch?  I don't know.  I just finished playing someone in a 15 minute game, won my game, then left the live chess to go back to my games I am playing in my online chess.  No comments were made during the live chess game, and once he resigned, I logged off of live to tend to my other games.  Then I get this message:

"It's usually considered fair chess manners to allow a rematch. Guess I won't be playing you anymore."

Well, I have never heard of such chess etiquette that I have to allow a rematch.  Should I always stick around and wait for another challenge by the same person?  Should I be the one to make the challenge and ask for a rematch.  Even if I accept, am I supposed to change colors and play another game with opposite color?  And what if he wins, and we are tied 1 game apiece, do I then make another challenge to see who wins this match? 

Chess is supposed to be fun and friendly.  I made a universal challenge, and accepted the first person who accepted my challenge of a 15 minute game.  I usually play a quick game in live chess, then, when finished, log out of live chess and go back to my online chess games or do something around the house or read a book or use the bathroom, etc.  So what are the readers' thoughts on rematches and accepting or not?  And should I accept despite the person's rating or if he is a beginner or not?  I think I was 500 points higher than my opponent, but that's beside the point.  What would be the conditions you would accept or decline a rematch?

Some people are just too sensitive. When I am not busy or disappointed about the level of the person's play/my own game, I try to offer him/her a rematch if requested. However, unless you have had a preliminary agreement, no one is supposed to expect a rematch from you.

Thanks Natalia and Estragon,

I would have accepted a rematch if the person had mentioned it before resigning and if I did not have anything more pressing.  I have played many folks here in rematches when they asked nicely and before the game was over.  This time I was involved in a more serious online chess game and was using the quick game between moves from my other opponents and did not feel an obligation to play any further blitz games once my opponent resigned.  I just hope others don't think it is rude if I leave a blitz game after one game if there is no agreement.  I am more interested in playing as many different people from as many different countries as possible (over 140 countries so far in 1 1/2 years here).  Besides, they can always play me again at love chess when I do go back online and make an open challenge.

Well, a 15 minutes game generally takes some time (can last almost 30 minutes of your valuable time...) and in my opinion you are not obliged to play a rematch with anybody, especially when he is not your good (chess) friend, when he is a weak player and when he didn't chat with you during the game to agree the rematch before he resigned...

i tend to wait a little bit just to see if they will offer me a rematch and most often i will accept it. i sometimes offer rematches to my opponents (depending on the game). however, there is no preset understanding of you must accept rematches.

i do like the idea, however, of playing a person twice (once with each black and white).

2 years @ chess.com,  Never heard of that...I think it is optional and dependent upon mutual agreement.   His additude leaves something to desire, lol

I accept rematches when I feel like it, I usually don't feel like it if the game wasn't close/my opponent played on in a hopeless position.

I only ask for a rematch if I lose/draw but I'm not bothered if my opponent doesn't accept.

It's not clear from the original message whether author logged off immediately or allowed at least 10 seconds for a rematch offer if it was reasonably expected?

Or if he already saw the offer - did he respond at least something to it or just left silently?

Of course nobody is obliged to play rematch. But I think it is a matter of courtesy to respond something if the rematch offer is extended. You may give a reason, like "I have to go, I have no time" or do not provide a reason and just say "No, thanks" but anyway it would be better than to leave silently.

Actually it has nothing to do with Chess etiquette or Chess at all. It is just a common communication etiquette. If somebody, for example, asks you something in the office. Do you respond something or do you just turn your back towards him and go away silently?... 

I would agree with everyone here, you are by no means obligated to play anyone if you don't want to.  I don't ask or accept rematches win or lose,   The only time I do is if I can tell the person lost on an obvious blunder, then I kinda feel bad to win a game like that.

Some of these people want to go back and forth all day if you let them, I really don't enjoy playing the same person over and over again.  I had one guy, Lifegiver36, I played (in which I actually DID ACCEPT THE REMATCH) and he got mad after I beat him twice...sent a snippy message then BLOCKED ME (coward)!!! LOLOL  I couldn't believe it...I laughed sooooo hard.  There are all kinds on this thing we call the internet...people do and say things on here they would never have the heart to do to you face.  Anyway, that's my story.

Just because you are not obligated to do something, doesnt mean it isnt nice, or failure to do so wont be rude.  While I dont think it is rude to decline a rematch, you should understand that a quick loss and bail feels like a hit and run to the person who lost.  If you are 500 points higher, he/she should be happy you played them at all.  But otherwise, chess is competitive, and you should understand why your opponent will want at least one more try, even though you are not obliged. 

I logged off 5 seconds after I won (now I have to wait 10 seconds?) and saw no message (was he expecting me to ask for a rematch?), and no messages appeared throughout the game.  I have played dozens of rematches when folks ask and I have time.  A 15 minute game each side is really a half hour.  I would have to commit an hour to play two games on a rematch to a relatively weak player, and I was already engaged in several games of online chess matches that needed more attention.  In response to Speaker, when somebody asks me something in the office when they know it is quitting time or you have another appointment, and they want me to respond or do something for the next half hour, unless it is important, it can wait and may need no response (maybe "sorry, have to go").  And that is comparing apples to oranges.  When you leave the office for the day, do you actually wait at least 10 seconds to see if any employee wants to say something to you before you leave, then expect a response that could take another half hour?  This was one game with no words or messages sent throughout the 30 minutes I put in the game.  I won, waited a few seconds, logged off to make a move in my online chess games.  Most of the time I will end with gg (good game) and leave.  I have never initated a rematch to any game unless it was a friend and we agreed earlier.  I am just trying to establish that it is not bad manners or bad taste to leave a bullet, blitz, 15-minute chess game after one game and someone is not obligated to have a rematch or even say anything after the game. 

I'm very much with joey on this (saw this before, now I know who actually wrote this blog!)

Personally, I go with the old ethical rule of treat others how you would want to be treated. As such, if I win, I will wait awhile and accept a rematch if they want, because I would want my own chance at redemption. Were I to win again, then 2 out of 3 is good enough to accept the fact that chances are you won't win the next one. Were I to lose, a 3rd game is generally played, but not always, and by then I've never met anyone with hard feelings by this time.

Once again with what joey said, playing someone over 500 points higher than me is more an honor and privilege than something to be thrown away.

With you I tried for a 3rd rematch, but did not get it. HARDLY from disappointed, I was thrilled enough you were willing for 2! ^_^

I must admit that I did kind of want to know more about how you go about looking for exposure points and what not, but once again, I was happy with what I got!

Thanks for the games :) (Talk to you in the future?)

Yes, we played two games of 15 minutes each side (30 minutes total) or an hour long.  I declined the 3rd due to me needing a break, getting something to eat, and resting.  You were kind enough to get in chess related conversaation, but I usually play a max of 2 games, rest, then come back.  Us older guys sometimes need a break or rest or bathroom break.

My thoughts are that you wouldn't be expected to have a rematch for a g/15 at all. If you didn't log out, you may write something like "good game" or something, and if they respond with "rematch?" then you can decline.

That all being said, I think that if the time control were shorter that there is more of an expectation of a rematch. To the extreme case (since I play a lot of 1 0) when you play a 1 0 game, there is an implicit understanding that you'll probably play at least 2 games. Maybe more. While I realize that of course I can leave after 1 game, I personally don't do that as much, and only when I _really_ need to go for some reason. Or maybe they make rude comments or something. But generally speaking I wouldn't play a single 1 0 game, then not rematch, and then play someone else a 1 0 game - whereas I could easily do that after a pair of 1 0 games.

So with that extra data point, I don't know where the cutoff is. I think it might be at the 5 0 point though.

I suppose I'm just adding the extra dimension of time control to the general nonlinear problem of manners.

Some players we cross swords with are just poor losers...or just very immature...I would not feel obligated to play a re-match with such a rude character...put him/her on you exclude list...and move on.