Chess makes me feel sick to my stomach

Every time I hop on to play chess I end up getting off just even more upset at myself. I hate how I play for example one of the games I was playing recently I was almost a queen up and still lost the game all the confidence I thought I had vanished I study chess from a chess book I am reading and mistakes like these make me feel like this is all for nothing. I am not here to say I am quitting chess and I don't plan on taking a break so don't say take a break I don't want, so this may just be an unsolvable situation but I just hit 1209 and then immediately lost it now I am back to 1189 which I woke up being 1188, I also fear losing elo so therefore sometimes I don't play but this is ridiculous I used to be able to play chess perfectly fine snuggling in my bed beating 1000 elo rated players now I am 1200 and feel as if I plateau I started around 3 months and it's scary I don't want to be that person who has been playing chess for a like 6 and still is 1200. I say I don't make blunders so much but my recent games say other for example in the game when I was a queen up and I lost an exchange because I simply didn't calculate what could have happened and if I just spent a second to calculate it out I would have known it would lose a rook. I need to get past these really really rookie mistakes and chess progress feels so slow like I will almost never improve I am curious if anyone had a similar situation where chess is making you so stressed even on Christmas I was stressed just thinking about how I wasn't studying chess it's kind of taken over my life in a not so healthy way if anyone could please help me it would be appreciated but as I said there probably isn't much you can do because I am not taking a break.

Sorry for all the grammar mistakes typing this out on a whim basically just it's tough chess has totally taken over my life, it makes me happy it makes me sad but it's getting to an unhealthy point where I seriously start thinking really bad about myself I understand it's just a game but it makes me feel so stupid.

The biggest reason people struggle in lower-level chess is because of blunders. They make them in almost every game.

A mistake can instantly put you in a bad position, no matter how well you played earlier: if you had great opening knowledge, great positional skills, great endgame skills, whatever; a single mistake can change everything (you lose a piece or get checkmated).

So, how do you avoid blunders? Follow this simple algorithm:

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While avoiding blunders is crucial, I also share a few basic principles with my students. These principles help them figure out what to do in each part of the game - the opening, the middlegame, and the endgame. Understanding these simple principles is like having a map for your moves. I provide my students with more advanced algorithms that incorporate these fundamental principles. When you use this knowledge along with being careful about blunders, you're not just getting better at defending. You're also learning a well-rounded approach to chess. Keep in mind, chess is not just about not making mistakes; it's about making smart and planned moves to outsmart your opponent.

More or less losing is going to happen a lot at our levels and you will make plenty of mistakes, you need to accept that and its consequences. One way to at least temporarily suspend your anxiety and frustrating is to play unrated games for a while and get back to enjoying the game and focus less on winning and losing and more on improving your play.

thanks a lot for this

I use to feel that way but stop caring after awhile and randomly my rating will bounce between 1700-1900 range. I think you need to figure out what do you want out of chess. If you want to be a GM then study for hours. For me, I just play for fun and don’t care to study.

Also just remember, chess is just a board game, if you don’t enjoy it then just stop. There are other fun things that can occupy your time.

Think slightly longer before you move and stop doubting yourself. It can turn into a way of living and you do Not want that. Remember ,if you try to compare yourself amongst people in Chess, your odds become Really small... except if your Magnus or one of those guys. Good luck and believe in yourself. Metallica. Nothing else matters.

If chess makes you physically ill, then you should really change your relationship with the game. It sounds like your issue is with losing. Perhaps you're putting too much significance on rating or win %. As others said, focus on improving your game. In those lost games... what was the cause and learn from it. Is it because you played poorly or your opponent played great? Did you blunder or make many unforced errors?

I've accepted bullet and blitz games are not for me. I prefer rapid and longer time control. I don't want the game to be decided on time or a mis-dropped piece.

• Don't use ELO or other stats to value your self-worth.
• Perhaps even play unrated games if rating is what causes you frustration when losing a match.
• Review your games and learn to see how you can improve.
• Perhaps play bots... they don't care how long you take.
• Consider other metrics that allow you to focus on improvement. For example: accuracy, mistakes or blunders. It's possible you could lose a game but those other metrics tell a better story. Over time, are those other metrics improving?
• If you're often losing on time or time is causing you to react poorly, consider longer games

Hey buddy. I wanted to respond to this post so that you know you're not alone. I used to have this problem quite severely and even now I can say I probably let it hold me back for a while. I hit 1000 about 6 months into my journey. From there I kind of shot up to 1200.

Then the progress started to slow down a bit.

As you can see it took me three months to hit 1300 and three more to get to 1400. And that's where my nightmare began. Because in the 1200 and 1300 range i had begun to have a lot of feelings of self doubt and questioning my abilities. I would get sick to my stomach when I would get ready to start playing because I had put too much importance on my rating. And the tilts ... I shudder thinking about it. I would lose 100 points over the course of the weekend and it would completely destroy my mood. I'd be sulking and angry. Feeling like all the hard work I was putting into the game was never gonna pay off. And my brain would seemingly shun all good advice and positivity regarding my play because I was so fixated on my rating and how much I was losing and the way I was losing. And truth be told, I still hate to lose. No worse feeling in competition than losing a game of chess, but the reality is we are going to lose. And we are going to lose A LOT. That's just a part of it. Anyone who wants to play chess well one day will lose many games before doing so. So I say embrace your losses for what they can teach you. Embrace your tilts to build up your resilience. You can't avoid them, but your approach to them is always in your control.

Remember how I said 1400 was a nightmare for me?

It took FOREVER to break 1500. I tilted so many times. It became so discouraging that I contemplated giving up several times. I tilted under 1400 three times. Once back to 1376 if I remember correctly. That was a tough time. My resolve had ground down to a nub and I was studying and grinding puzzles daily to try to get something to click. In this time, I also had trouble analyzing games as I was so hard on myself I couldn't even bring myself to look at my lost games. As you can see, I did recently break 1500. And then guess what happened?

Yep. A little over two months later, I broke 1600. I'm still in shock about it. But I guess what I've learned is that progress in chess can seem like a really slow and drawn out process, but if you're putting in the work the progress will manifest without you really realizing. You just keep adding pieces to what you already know and before you realize it, your rating is peaked and pushing upward. Don't worry about your rating. Focus on learning and rating will follow in turn.

Good luck, my friend. I wish you all the best on your chess journey. 🤜🤛