developing?

You are on the right track by developing pieces in the opening. But you must not ignore your opponents threats either.
If your opponent is launching a very early attack, this indicates he is probably not developing properly. You can take advantage of this by a defending move, or a move which attacks his mobile pieces which is also a developing move for you.
If you are able to develop a piece which is also attacking his mobile Queen for example, he will have to lose tempo by moving the Queen again.

What you're describing is being poor at tactics. I don't need to look at any of your games to confirm that. Developing is correct, keep doing that. All you need to do is to look for threats before you do. If your opponent has no threats, develop. If they do, stop the threat, preferably through a move that also develops, or at least doesn't permanently weaken. If you stop any threats you will end up with a better position than your "aggressive" opponent.
Developing is your plan. Plans are something to follow when something more important/better doesn't come up.