Etiquette: the rematch

https://www.chess.com/forum/search?keyword=rematches

We are on the internet, I don't see why it would be obligatory. Both of us can find another game in seconds anyway.

That being said, most of the time I ask/accept rematches to play 2-4 games with a player. It also happens that I decline and this mgiht for any of those reasons;

-> Opponent might be way too weak and I'm "wasting time" playing against him. If I crush him in the opening because he makes 5 bad moves in the first 15 games, then falls into the first tactic that I did not even intent to throw at him and the guy just loses the game alone without me having to do anything, I'm sorry but I'm losing my time. And since he can find another opponent in seconds it's not like as deny him a chance to play a game.

-> I won the last game and my opponent kept playing until the very last move, forcing me to promote the pawn into a queen and play 20 more moves to mate him. I find this habit totally disrepectful of your opponent because it implies you think the guy is not good enough to mate you with a queen, when the guy in question outplayed you in an endgame. I don't rematch these persons.

-> Similarly, players who go into an endgame with 30 seconds lead on the clock and keep making waiting moves in a theoretical draw to win on time. Someone doing that in real life would not find another opponent in the room, he is lucky he is on the internet and can act like someone without dignity and yet find another opponent.

-> Sometimes I want to either have a pause or do something else. Once again, he can find another opponent so I don't see why I should force him to wait for me.

-> Very rarely, I find myself disgusted by the way my opponent plays and I hated the game. When I play as black and my opponent trades everything as fast as possible to get into the most dry position ever, and then has no clue as to how to play an endgame (because it could be a sound decision at my level to force endgames if it's one of your strenghs), I don't rematch them because games are not exciting at all. Most of the time I decide to not play them again when they do this two games in a row, and the next game I'm playing black, because I'm not interested in having a free draw. I generally accept a rematch if I'm going to play white because it will be my job to manage to create imbalances in the game and prove an advantage, so it is interesting in that case.

I think that sums it up for me.

I think that when someone gets mad for not getting a rematch, he should be careful as to where his ego currently is. No one owes you anything on the internet.

In real life though it is different for me, because the social interaction and etiquette is part of the chess world. To put a strange comparison, in the world of esports, people are acting in a disgusting way on the gaming servers, yet a very different kind of attitude emerges during LANs (local area network, which is a common way to talk about gamers going all to the same place with their equipment to play the game while being physically in the same place).

I have no opinion as to if it's a good thing or not that people act like that on the internet, it's just as it is, and hurting your ego because internet is how it is just makes your life a little bit more difficult for no reason.

The "everyone must give a rematch" crowd should just form their own group and only play each other so that their precious feelings won't get hurt.  The reasons why some don't give a rematch is well established in other forums, but the easiest and perhaps best answer is "I don't have to and I don't want to".  The sooner you realize that rematches aren't mandatory and that some people don't like giving them the sooner your anguish will heal.

I'm in...

Absolutely not to compulsory rematches.

There are tens of thousands of players to play online.  Why do you care if you play the same person twice in a row or not?  Do you take it personally when you lose and want to "even the score?"  Does it bother you that your opponent might think he's a better chess player than you?  What's the root cause of this desire?  I've never understood it.  Just don't take the game personally.

I don't like to encourage this taking losses personally, so I generally do not play rematches.  I also find that when I do play rematches, my opponent, very often, suddenly plays with machine-like accuracy.  I have that problem far less often when I just play them once and their ego doesn't get involved.

That wont work for the same reason the same poeple that are complaining that political/religious discussion should be allowed in the main forums.  They dont want to create groups tp discuss it, they dont want to go to Open Discussion to discuss it.  They want an audience.  Its not about being heard, its about being seen by the most people.

In All these discussions we are forgetting one perspective: Would Jesus give rematches ?

I don't like breaks between games. I want to play again ASAP.

Sometimes my opponent is slow to offer a rematch... by which I mean they wait as long as 3 seconds. By then I've already clicked new game (otherwise I accept).

Other times, I have to stop playing for the day.

Best not to read into a declined rematch.

Of course sometimes a player loses and doesn't want to lose again. Or they win and want to savor it for a little bit before the next game. These are also legitimate reasons to decline a rematch.

Diakonia: interesting theory and you're probably right about some of them.  However, I bet there are some who truly believe that giving a rematch should be required and a group of like-minded people might be helpful to aid these people in playing each other (and not clog up the forums).  Definitely agree that some of them will continue to "proselytize" in the forums and insist that everyone believe what they believe.  

I've also seen an idea for adding matches to the seek in live chess.  Rather than play one game, you could select a two game match against the opponent and the second game would begin right after the first ends.  It could end this "rematch" issue because those who insist on a rematch would just choose to play a two game match rather than a single game 

im sure jesus would give rematches ziggy as he is only hanging around at the moment

thejohnjon: insisting that everyone follow what you decide is "courtesy" is fascism masquerading as tolerance, a belief system which is disturbingly common in today's world  

nah he is just picking his nails awaiting the rematch

OTB at the club, friendly games, i have no issue with playing the same person over and over.  Thats why we get together :-)

Online?  It starts getting into things like ego, hurt feelings, people having to prove themselves, the need to keep playing until they have "1 upped you", immaturity, rudeness, etc.  All of this i get.  I just prefer chess being fun.  There are a few here that i play on a regular basis, that i will play 2 in a row with, but that is rare.  One of the great things about the interwebz is i have the opportunity to play people from all over the world.  I dont want to keep playing the guy from Minnesota over and over.  NO OFFENSE to Minnesota, just the first state that came to mind.

Sure. Although there are different types. Sometimes what is insisted is what people would normally call common courtesy. As a silly example: not shouting profanity at strangers

I think it depends on whether what's being insisted is based on logic and empathy vs ideology. Fascism, Hitler style, would be ideology. Some politically correct things today are too... but not all of it. Sometimes it's just courtesy.

As a Minnesotan, I'm highly offended by your remark Diakonia. Expect a nasty letter. :P