Fortune cookie blues

Why is it that none of my fortune cookie messages are chess-related? It it just a matter of bad luck? "You will inherit a large sum of money", says one message. "Others enjoy your company", says another. So what? I want to know whether I will finally master the Sveshnikov, or be able to give a mate with a knight and a bishop.

People have gone to the Moon, we have harnessed the power of the atom, so why is it so difficult to type a simple, reassuring  message such as "You will mate your partner many times" on a small piece of paper and put it in a piece of dough? And who could argue with the advice "Choose your opening wisely"? Even the somewhat cynical "There is no mate without a check" would brighten my day.

I am not expecting any grandmaster-level advice from the fortune cookie messages, although it would be nice to have some opening suggestions, such as "The French lovers fear the Tar rash", or even some Capablanca-style piece coordination advice, such as "The Queen prefers the Knight to the Bishop". Alas, as things stand, I can only hope to one day open up a fortune cookie and read something relevant to my chess-centric life.

Once I got a fortune that said "A victory is in your near future".

That could be probably be construed to chess.

Oh You sent this when I didn't born