I was half way hoping in my most recent tournament I'd do poorly so that I'd be on fire to correct mistakes and really study. Instead I just did ok and don't really feel good or bad about it. If I had lost more games it would have made the future me a stronger player.
Handling defeat in chess and in life.
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I like to observe the reaction of my opponents when they win, and lose (in over-the-board games, of course). It tells a lot about a person's character. When I lose, yes, I'm disappointed, especially after making a blunder - and make a point of congratulating my opponent on a game well played, and analysing where my game went wrong. When I win (not too often these days) I try not to get too carried away by the "high", and the good feeling carries me through the day in good spirits. As Kipling famously quoted, if we can take victory and defeat with the same measure of cool-headedness, we learn to master our spirit, and in so doing refine our character and temperament, which, as fallible and imperfect beings, is a good thing for all.
No doubt a lot must have been said concerning this topic. But it would do no harm to add more.
The immortal Capablanca said on may learn more from a lost game than from a won game. Nothing can be truer than this. In chess as in life victory intoxicates, we like to pride ourselves by counting the number of wins we have recorded. At the same defeats does not always appeal to us. But if only we really appreciate the lessons a defeat teaches us, it would go a long way to help us handle life.
It is important to note that both victory and defeat in both chess and life are to expected. When we lose a game even if a casual one, we ought to be calm enough to go over and see where we fell short. It is perhaps the only thing we can gain from the lost game. In life too , when we are dealt with some misfortune, we should, while bearing in mind it is just a passing misfortune, see what things we did wrong, and learn from our errors. In fact a defeat tells us how very much human we are, whereas a victory often makes us think that we are invincible.
It is my humble opinion therefore that we ought to value the games we lost more than those we have won.