How chess saved me from Obesity

Well here is the story of how chess saved me:

Some years back I held a responsible position in a well known and popular restaurant in New York City.

The pay was not fantastic but it was a good job and more importantly I loved it. Working long hours often meant I had little or no time to eat so one day I started binge eating from the customer's left over tray as I was cleaning the tables.

At first it was just a fry here and half a McNugget there but pretty soon I started eating everything people left behind.

I ended up eating the equivalent of 9 happy meals a day, gained 250pounds and got hepatitis B. My hair also started falling out and customers became uncomfortable around me.

A representative from the restaurant eventually came to see me about it and one of us ended up going to hospital with first degree burns from hot cooking oil. I lost my job.

I got really depressed and had no idea how to lose weight or regain my confidence.

Then I started playing chess.

Within a month I learned how to think and even how to come up with a strategy for the first time in my life and a week later ,thanks to chess,I figured out how to apply tactics to my strategy, this allowed me to work out a diet plan and to stop buying cookie dough.

Because I could suddenly think ahead, let alone think, I managed to avoid excess eating and stick to my training program.

This was just the first step in applying my chess knowledge to real life for instance I started getting out of bed in the morning before having a pee and would only shave AFTER I applied shaving cream. My confidence soared.

I got a new job and because I can now anticipate and apply strategic thinking I totally know when to take the money,open the cash register and hand over change or not hand over change whereas before chess I always just tried to haggle and barter with customers or would sometimes just give them the whole cash register, wet my pants or pay for their food myself with old comic books.

Chess truly is like life.

Thank you chess for curing my obesity and teaching me how to think.

If you have accepted chess as your personal savior please share here.

And I am sure chess can save you from the drink or whatever other substance you are currently on brother. Thanks for sharing

ah, purp n goose, yes that will totally do it. I am not sure if chess can actually re-generate brain cells but it is worth a try. You will need to make more sense in your future posts ,which inevetably you will feel like sharing , or I am totally going to run out of support and kindness.

Read your profile mang, gain 98 points in tt after 625 attempts, plays online at almost 1600... nothing screams engine like those stats mang ( am I using ' mang' correctly here?) Totally love what you did with your house though, drawing on the walls is really ( insert whatever word you use for 'cool' here)

Are you the fat guy or the kid holding up ten bucks?

I'm glad to hear chess had such a positive impact on your life! Chess likewise helped me to lose weight, but that was due to an internal blockage that had me in various professional settings where I met a lot of neat people. Did you know the rules for castling still apply in the small intestine?

Thanks for clearing that up Cenk, if you are indeed the fat guy I suggest re-reading my post once you are sober or not high or whaterver else purp n goose causes.

Nice story there Duck! Glad to hear that things are improving.

I have been having trouble with alcohol which has resulted in numerous trips to hospital; they keep telling me to get off the vodka, but it is so hard. Botvinnik was a push-over last year but they say that he is about to invoke the rematch clause. I am not happy about this. My kidney is starting to play up again.

Women, too, are a problem. Soviet system throws wreath laurels and numerous women at me as well. I cannot concentrate on chess.

I need to put these distractions to one side and just concentrate on the match instead. Is hard, but I know that it is the best for my improvement.

Thanks Blarg. The rules for castling actually originated in the small intestine which is why it is still called a ' yellow bellied' move today and only used by chess weaklings. Is it OK if I call you Blarg or do you prefer Dragon

Good story, well-written and congrats Dubious-Duck. 

Thanks Tal, I think but I am not sure. To be honest your post is a little confusing so I am just going to act like I never saw it.

Thanks captainsoyler, I must say apart from the fat guy that called me a stupid-ass duck the love and support in this thread is almost overwhelming.

Well, I just had a quick look at other posts, yours seems be the best story today. 

Others are confusing to me...:)

Calling people a stupid-ass duck might be the only way he knows to show affection and appreciation. People have their emotional inhibitions and quirks for whatever reason.

That also explains why cowardice is described as 'yellow', since that's the (first, at least) color I imagine one would turn during toxic shock. And Blarg is fine!

well i was called 'dumb bunny thing' by a homeschooled pianist just today.  can't get worse than that, especially since that totally stretched his comeback repertoire.  i was considering doing an "i'm not an object" post but wasn't sure if thing and object meant the same thing.  indecisions ...

cross-thread campaigning is a good indication of thread quality.  which, i'm unsure ...

I think the only difference between thing and object is that the latter implies tangibility. Freedom would be a thing, but not an object. I think your post would work, since he obviously meant somethign tangible.

Some people just extinguish themselves very quickly. And with lies. You are an intelligent bunny.

thanks blargy - that was very kind of u to say

AdamovYuri you were pretty much a moron as greedypawneater dude but as this new character you have yet again proved you set very low standards which you consistently fail to meet.

+1 for consistency tho'

congratulations on turning your life around...stay at it!