How I quit playing unrated games and overcame my rating anxiety

When I hit 2006 Bullet rating in January 2022, I descended in a "Let me keep this rating" mentality. I then played unrated bullet games for the next five months. I did this because of the effort it took to reach this 'milestone'. I justified the need to play unrated because I wanted a 'safe harbor' where I could enjoy stress-free chess without jeopardizing my hard-won 'achievement'. I mean, "why risk it all and descend into depression by playing rated games and tilting?".

Yesterday I decided to "risk it all" by playing some rated games. What followed for the next two days was 110 Bullet games with this record: 60+ 2= 48-. My 110 opponents' average Bullet rating was 2014. My highest rated opponent was 2168. My lowest rated opponent was 1838.

This evening I hit 2100, my all-time-high Bullet-record as of today.

Here's what I learnt from this experience:

1. Winning a rated game is exhilarating - there's nothing quite like it!
2. Losing a rated game hurts like crazy momentarily, but the loss is soon forgotten as I focus on the next game, fully convinced that I can gain back the points lost;
3. I was limiting myself by playing just rated games all the time. I mean the only way to find out if I could better my current rating was to increase rating points is by actually playing rated games;
4. The "rating anxiety" gave way to a keen sense of competition, and a renewed focus on the game, with the goal and belief that i could earn those +5, +8 or +10 rating points.
5. Playing rated games, contrary to my initial fears that it will make my evening miserable, is actually very fun and rewarding! Especially when I manage to reach the GOAL that I have set.

SUMMARY
How I quit playing unrated games and overcame my rating anxiety was to play rated games with a firm conviction that I could win games to cover my losses. It was my winning and confident mindset that made the difference. If you are caught in 'Rating Anxiety' where you are afraid to click the "Rated" toggle, set yourself a goal, step out of your comfort zone and let yourself go. Expect to lose lots of games and to dip below your set rating goal. If you find yourself tilting then break the losing cycle! Stop playing and have a rest - or continue at another day/time when you are fresher and not so tired. When a loss happens, don't let it overcome you. Instead resolve to play your best chess in the next game and win back the ratings that you have lost. CHAMPION, there you go!

Hope this helps someone.
Frankie "Durian Defense" Kam, Malaysia

P.S., all my games were played without streaming live on twitch.tv/durian_defense. What's next? I would love to see if I could maintain the 2100 rating, or go even higher, while simultaneously streaming live. That would be really something.

You started playing unrated again...

Both kind of games have benefits. I think playing "friendlies" is a good way to try out new ideas and tactics. Rated games are good place to show that those things are under one's belt. Rated, unrated, against the computer, puzzles, etc., all good stuff. 

I also started playing too many unrated games after i hit 1200 rapid but then started playing again and reached 1500 in two weeks.. my goal is to get to 2000 in 1-1.5 years.. dont know if its possible..

And here I thought it was about Roberto, “No mas!”

Thanks for the tip! I also have rating anxienty when it comes to Rapid (thats why I play blitz)

hey look you reached 2000!

hi i am a chicken nugget

Only anxiety I get is with the lag stealing my time , basically bullet is now about who has the best Internet connection, you work all those hours to get the rating up only for the lag to destroy it