welcome to the joys of being a chess player! The good news is you are completely normal. but don't let anything or anyone destroy you, including yourself! The only solution is to learn, study, and play to the best of your ability. While understanding and accepting your own limitations. Or give up the game in the name of personal peace. I put the game down for 8 years for the stupidest of reasons. I made 1910 USCF and I couldn't win anymore at that level. and the whole time, I could have been playing chess and having fun!
i feel like im becoming unhealthly obsessed with this game
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Sep 7, 2023
0
#3
It is normal to feel obsessed with something new and complex like chess (look up Tetris Effect). I literally had chess dreams before too. In fact, I'd see chess almost everywhere when I started playing. I'd see a checkered table cloth and I was almost certain someone set up a chess board there and then I'd have to look back again to make sure the salt and pepper shakers weren't a King and Queen!
However, this Tetris Effect should only last a short time (maybe a few weeks or months in my case with varying degrees of intensity) and should eventually disappear as chess becomes less new to you; it is the intense study and novelty element which causes the Tetris Effect).
Doubting your own intelligence or self-worth isn't healthy due to chess though. For instance, chess isn't directly linked to intelligence. Chess Grandmasters have taken IQ tests and they score no better than the average person. It is a tv trope why people assume chess is for smart people:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmartPeoplePlayChess
Similarly, you shouldn't be considering ending your life over a board game. I recommend checking out my video on the stop loss system and possibly my video on curing tilt if losing is this painful for you:
Sep 7, 2023
0
#4
If your considering ending your life you may want to talk to a therapist or call a hotline, it also sounds like you may have low self esteem, don’t worry though chess is NOT related to IQ (if that was true then I’d be too dumb to type this properly), however every human deserves chess, no matter what background, race, sexual orientation, Gender, or size. Keep in mind that one of the best players of all time (world champion!) scored 106 (Around there anyways) on a IQ test
so ive been playing chess for almost a week now, and ever since ive been unable to think of anything that isnt chess related and have been having non stop dreams about chess. whenever i make a bad move or miss a good move or lose a game it ruins my day and seriously devastates me. i start doubting my own intelligence and have even considered ending my life over those bad games (not the only reason ive wanted to, but i dont think the losses are helping). i dont even feel like i deserve to be this obsessed with chess, because of how bad i am, and i am TERRIBLE.
im sorry if this could be a little too overboard lol