Is my Nephew playing mind games?

I have discussed my 4 year old Nephew in the forums before. About how I attempted to teach him our noble game. See here: https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/how-do-i-make-my-nephew-enjoy-chess 

I should mention that my desire and patience came to a sudden halt when he "accidentally" kicked one of the queens under the couch. It's a pretty heavy couch and moving it would be a burden for any man. Therefore, our chess training ended. 

A few days ago, he came up to me with what seemed to be new found ambitions. He spoke, "Uncle VladimirHerceg91, can we play chest?" . As you can see he had still not bothered to learn the correct pronunciation of the word "Chess", this should have been the first clue. 

But still, I was optimistic. Perhaps he had finally realized what was important in life. Sure we had our complications in the past, but I truly believed that he had changed his ways for the greater. I refuse to give most people a second chance, but this was nephew.  He was my blood after all. 

Anyway, I naively believed that he was ready to start his chess training. I believed that he was ready to eat, sleep, and shower himself with chess. I have to admit, at this point I was very happy, and excited that I might be training the next world champion. 

I used all the force I had to move the couch, straining my own back in the process. But it was for the greater good, for we couldn't play without the queen that was hidden underneath. I grabbed the queen, pushed the couch back into place, set up the board. All this hard work, to only have my nephew "accidentally" kick the queen back underneath the couch again. 

I was very angry, and we haven't spoken since the incident. Did he ever have any desire to learn? Or did he know that he could manipulate me because of my love for chess? He knew that I would have jumped at the opportunity to teach him, and he used that same opportunity to hurt me. I am still very upset. 

he is 4...not 14...messing around is what is important to him...let him be a kid budz...try again when he is 6

Bloody genius, you gotta give him that.

Carlsen started playing at 4. That is the bar. If he waits another year who knows? He'll be 5 soon, he's just wasting his time as far as I'm concerned. But to each their own. It's his life. 

Yeah - he just denied himself the chance to be one of the world's greats. If he starts next year, the best he can hope for is maybe low grandmaster status, if that. 

On the other hand, if he DOES make it, imagine the fun when he writes his first book and boasts of how he pulled one on his uncle when he was a kid, complete with the whole sofa-moving story from his own angle, which is guaranteed to be a hoot!

You'll enter history!!

How is it possible that you haven't understood what he's trying to say yet?

He is giving you queen odds!

I wouldn't put that sort of arrogance beyond him. Sure. 

He is a kid, being a asshole like that is in his nature.  Wait till he is 7 and try again.  It is 3-strikes your out, right?

.. According to 'Scripture'.. {at least, one interpretation}.. You're to forgive your 'nephew', '70 times 7'; Whereupon, on his 491st repeated offense, {in whatever context}.. You may 'smack' him !  [ ;

i think this actually a bigger problem than people think but for a different reason than stated here.

he kicked the queen under the table to 'hurt your feelings for his own pleasure' so if he's prepared to bully you for a laugh then think what he might do to other children at school.

i think that your nephew is turning into (if not already) a bully. he's at a young age and with support from his parents and you he might not turn into someone that is hated.   

All you answers you will get inside this video.. Watch it till end.. Crazy 4 years super chess kids https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R9OhXch8G20

 You are expecting way too much from a 4 year old child.

I think your nephew is a pretty much wasted piece of meat. You should try with a younger stallion and raise it yourself. Starting earlier than 4, but not with chess, teaching it interest in numbers, word, logical toys or anything ressourcefull for its brain, before you can start with chess. If you have someone else to play with, go ahead and show it how fun it is. It must feel that chess is an most interesting arcane game that it must earn the right to play. It must be frustrated not to be able to play chess like grown up/older siblings. Then you can train it.

If you're going to get a kid focusing all day on chess, a lot of things have to be in place. Does he play soccer or hockey, etc?  Is he in an environment that will motivate him to play chess?

I have a nephew who is 8 and play chess with him but I don't see him every day.  Often we play endgames I set up so he will learn how the pieces cooperate: he already knows the The Principle of the Opposition and the Rule of the Square in King and Pawn endgames.

BUT...he's a whiz at math and that's where his time is best spent. Since age 4 he always is the banker when we play Monopoly.  Last week I took him to his elite-team baseball practice and he asked me why companies sell stocks to people.  My explanation involved business expansion and alternatives to bank loans and he understood it all!  I think my Christmas present this year will be shares of Disney and McDonald's - and a toy.

So, before you decide on a career for your nephew, look at where his strengths are!

Man, don't give up. At 4 years of age he is already quite old, but there are still some hopes left. 

Try once again to teach him chess, and if he kicks the queen again then simply lock him in a dark room with no food for 3 days. (You can give him a glass of water, you don't want him to die. You know, if he dies you will go to jail). 

But, here is the secret. When you lock him in the dark room, give him a chess board without any pieces. Magically he will start developing his ability to play blindfold chess and eventually he will start liking it. 

Repeat this over and over again. Remember that persistence is the main key to success. 

Don't worry if he becomes anorexic, chess is more important than health. 

pretend this is all a game. You do not want to force him to do something he does not hate, nor do you want to give him bad memories of 'chest', which he will then remember when you pester him again about learning chess. Maybe use other things for chess pieces, and pretend it is an actual war, like lego minifigures. Tell him the old man (knight) can only go in an L shape because he has a limp. Make up stories like this and this might make your nephew remember how the pieces move.

This would be sad if it was true.

buy a $5.99 chess set and use that queen, then the plastic rook etc as each disappears.  and just let him play soccer as well

I am concerned about this statement-

I was very angry, and we haven't spoken since the incident

Please tell me that you are not avoiding conversation with a 4yo. That would be tragic.

Don't judge him too harshly, he is only a kid. We all know what happens when fathers push their daughters to play tennis. The results are not good.

If anything- judge his parents. Does his behavior mirror that of his mother or father? There in lies your problem. 

And if in doubt take the queen odds when offered!

If he doesn't learn to play chest, he may have a future as a comedian. Just sayin