Kasparov temper tantrum

Last Tuesday I was taking a leak at the third urinal from the left in the Allied Carpets megastore in Llanelli when who should I see two to my right - Gary Kasparov - that's who.  I was star struck.

I patted him on the back and gave him a hug I felt a genuine warmth between us, a kinship as kindred Behemoths of the great game.  It was then that I realised that I had forgotten to stop weeing.

That man has got a temper, he was steaming.  Literally.  I couldn't understand a word he was screaming at me. 

In a selfless gesture of intra-lingual placation I took off my still dry trousers and pants and advanced proffering them to replace his sodden ones.  It was then that the police came in.  It didn't look good.

My court date is set for Thursday week.

Which famous chess players have you met in person and did they live up to your expectations? 

I was disappointed.  He was much shorter than I had expected.

Man, what was his problem? He needs to chill out, that Garry.

I mean they had a 75% sale on room-size remnants.  What more could a man want?

If the floor was chequered then moving 2 to the side is likely what got him so mad.  You made an illegal move and he was supposed to be out of reach of you where he was standing. 

Obviously no one told him that you can't go to Wales and not expect to get at least a little bit of pee on you, from somewhere. Or maybe you just misinterpreted his rage, and he was actually singing an old Azerbaijani folk song of thanks?

 Ironically it was a wooden laminate floor

Not to worry, I'm sure the court will simply award him 2 minutes on his clock. 

Don't be ridiculous. 

He's Armenian.

ah, no wonder he was so mad.  He was completely out of his element, and as a result he was probably left completely baffled by the whole ordeal.

If he was a gentleman he would withdraw his case and settle it over a chess board. 

He's lost his bottle.

roflol monkeyz.  dat's hilarious.

Not unless he's changed nationality recently. Maybe you're thinking of Gurdjieff?

really?

it's better to be pissed off than pissed on...but in his case he was both

First you piss on him and then you want him to honor you with a game?  puh lease.

I just don't want to go to prison.

Again

He should just cool down...he was out of his area if the floor was wooden laminate it should have been chequered. (BUT anyway when you meet him in court don't mistake him for a urinal!)

 It will be interesting to see what he opens with in court.  Will he go for Legal's mate?

Or if you did start peeing in court plead the grob! (the grab!) and self defence 

This thread is important in the history of the human race.

Also, he should have moved his bishop back and to the left, to put you in check.

Then you'd really have been stuck between a rook and a hard place.