For me it is Lichess and chess.com
Lichess vs chess.com

chess.com is more user friendly but struggle to keep up with demand of players. the chat is friendlier here over lichess.

Lichess is a dying site, less and less people play there and chess.com is over occupied. My advise is to find a chess site with less traffic which would also mean less users using assistance.
Interesting that you think this way when in January Lichess had recorded its new peak of people online in one day at the same time, about 150k.

As someone who has played a lot on both I would say:
Chess.com with premium > lichess.com >>>>> chess.com without premium

I like lichess as it hides the country I don't like playing India France or russia so for me not knowing is good only problem is more people fail to make a move .
Lichess has proportionately way less weak players and better rating categories
Chess.com has better graphics
For me:
Lichess:
Vastly superior free analysis
Easier matchmaking on variants
Chess.com:
Separate Ratings For Daily Chess W/ 960 (lichess has one rating for 960 combining daily with non daily)
Event coverage
More active forums
Puzzle variants slightly better (puzzle rush etc)
Instant matchmaking for standard chess at a variety of time controls
What is your favorite chess platform?