makes me so mad

hey, i wanna talk about somthing thats realy bothering me.. loosing

at first it was ok i lost all the games and didnt get mad.. then i started to read about stuff and watch videos and become more familior.. now i reach realy long  end games and i put alot of taught in my play and when i make that cruitial mistake i am so furious i get banned for cursing and sometimes just get realy upset and not sleep cause of that mistake that keeps me up at night. anyone got any suggestions on how to calm myself abit about loosing?

Please remember it is only a game! An oft repeated adage is that you are not a chess player until you have lost one thousand games. Learn from you mistakes and don't repeat them. The wins will come. Cursing makes nothing better. Try typing "gg" instead.

I used to get upset for the same reason: I'd be able to play so much better, think hard, understand positional concepts, etc, but I'd make 1 or 2 combination mistakes at some point and lose the game. I quit playing chess for several months; it has helped. Practice chess without playing it. Use the fact that you can calculate and put a lot of thought into a game to your advantage when studying books. Work on tactics puzzles. And when you are ready (a few months later), only start playing the computer, on an easier setting, and do it sparingly, slowly working back up. 

In the end, if you have played chess for a long time and just can't quit making 1-2 move errors, I suggest you start looking at getting your head examined (I am serious)! As it turns out, I may have a previously undiagnosed adult version of adhd, and also some extremely low levels of the neurotransmitter Dopamine. Living with this my entire life, I had no clue that it was bothering me. Also, sleep is more important than anything for a chess game. What you will find is that often times, if you get a good night sleep after several bad nights of sleep, you will feel worse the next day. Sleep, for me anyways, has a lag time of about 2-3 days for you to feel an effect, both good and bad.

Finally, when you play chess, especially online, set up a real chess board at home, only play using tournament time controls (or at least 30 minutes), and only look at the screen long enough to make the moves to the real board. Pretend that the board on the computer screen doesn't exist. Don't move fast; take the entire 30 minutes, and if you are doing it correctly, you should lose some games because of time. I hope this helps.

its hard for me to quit chess cause i love the game so much.. but i feel realy dumb when i loose to people cause i have the worst case of perfectsionism (i hope i spelled that right ) and loosing realy hurts my ego.. i can beat the computer of 1700 when i get a good streak of winnings :P, but when the first lost comes my play takes a turn for the worst and i start to play like a Moron :(.

Sounds like whatever is going wrong is a brain problem. Again, I would advise you to seek out a health expert's advice. Chess is one of the best ways to measure mental performance consistancy, imo.

1. Early to bed, early to rise.

2. Eat more. It sounds as if your brain is running out of fuel, leading to a sudden and prolonged streak of losses due to "brain fog". Complex calories (veggies) are best for helping supply a steady supply of carbs to your brain. Remember, the brain can't store energy like the rest of your body can. It has to use whatever is in the bloodstream at the time.

3. Breathe. You would be surprised at how often you take short breaths instead of long ones when you're losing.

4. Slow down. Slow your play down. It's easy to get caught up in "blitz" mode while losing, even if the time controls are for a longer game. It's more of a mindset than anything.

Did you mean: losing 

ha ha I am well on my way. I love the game. Loosing also, when I make a blunder and am running for my life, that is a great time to learn some new stuff that will help you out when you have a chance again. If your having anger issues, then it may not be with just your chess...Im not a doc, but you may want to look into that, and see if there are other things in your life that you may not be "handling well" Good self evaluation...its awsome you know its an issue with you. So, dont let it get you down and have fun with the game, learn every time, and sometimes you will get the big win that you will be especially proud of.

Thanks guys for ur replys.. and emmet, stop talking about brain lol.

i will try some of the methods here.. and try to  deal with my anger issues about Looooooooooooooooooooosing. thanks guys.

p.s i have lost two thousand times

I was watching Louis Theroux - America's Medicated Kids[*] last night and there was one young lad who would throw a major wobbly every time he lost any game. His medication helped to dampen that anxiety quite a bit. I'm definitely not suggesting you go the pharmacological route - but I can sympathize with someone who hates losing that much. 

[*] The episode is on YouTube... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILPDEYJl9xA (he's the one playing with the tangram)

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 i realy dont think i am that kind of upset to throw stuff and hide under the desk.. and only chess realy brings that side of me lol oh and also my mother :)

Chess will always evoke anger because in one major sense, it's a very unjust game.  You can build up a positional advantage over 40 moves, make a blunder on move 41, and resign.  This kind of loss makes players extremely angry and depressed.  Also, chess requires a degree of concentration that perhaps only physics and math can match but physics and math aren't games that you "lose".  When you put in many hours of concentration and then only lose, there's a tendency to look at all that time as just wasted.  There's a reason why chess history is littered with tons of crazy chess players.  The game really can make you nuts.

Chess sucks.  Your aim in chess is to IRRITATE your opponent as much as possible.  It produces more anger than any game or hobby I can think of.  I gave it up for 30 years and I'm pretty sure that now I'm giving it up until I'm dead.  I can't stand people who wax poetical about the "beauty" of chess.  Chess is all about repeating the same openings and combinational motifs for 30 or 40 years.  And it's the ultimate in narcissism because the only aim is to increase one's personal rating.  Paul Morphy was right:  "The ability to play chess is the mark of a gentleman.  The ability to play well is the sign of a wasted life."  RIP Mr. Morphy

Try Chess 960

The bunny thinks you might be projecting. And that too on a decade old topic. 

Play unrated games and slower. That could calm you down.

I guess the OP got so mad he stayed away for the last ten years...

@aviano will have you know

that his presence was felt longer

than @aviano1's

hi