Pre-Game Handshake
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Aug 10, 2011
0
#23
I suggest a survey what people do:
avoid eye contact
maintain eye contact.
brief eye contact.
Aug 10, 2011
0
#24
hand shake with brief eye contact then... I might ask how to spell their first and last name as my pencil hovers above the score sheet. 
Natalia_Pogonina wrote:
Looking in the eyes during a handshake is widely regarded to be offensive and intimidating in chess.
I can imagine how having someone like Kasparov or Shirov glare at you while crushing your hand in theirs might be intimidating...
But offensive? To me it's offensive not to make eye contact
Well, there's a big difference between staring directly into someone's eyes and looking at their faces. Looking down on the board whilst shaking hands feels weird to me, I always look at my opponent when I wish them a good game. But I wouldn't say I was directly staring them in the eyes.
uhohspaghettio wrote:
ANason21 wrote: This is the single instance in my life when I've heard that maintaining eye-contact during any handshake of any kind, chess or otherwise, is intimidating or offensive. I was always taught that, unless you are a pinko commie rat or you lack self confidence, you shake hands firmly while looking into the eyes of the person whose hand you are shaking. This raises several questions:
If it is so "widely regarded," how come I could not find a single instance of the suggestion of avoiding eye-contact during a pre- or post-game handshake on any chess etiquette forums or websites (save for Natalia's single post)?
If it is so offensive and intimidating, wouldn't the great Bobby have maintained eye-contact during all his handshakes with Spassky?
If both parties are maintaining eye-contact, how do they decide which one should be offended or intimidated?
Is a firm handshake also offensive to you Natalia? Should I shake your hand like a limp wet fish while I look at my feet?
I think the more likely answer is that in most instances, the players are concentrating on the game, not on the handshake.
Hey!!!
Do you know who Natalia Pogonina is? She's one of the strongest women chess players in the world. Obviously you must not have realized this to make your sarcastic post.
Have a little respect. Take a look at your post, you are being really sarcastic in your questions and hostile and trying to be intimidating. Just because you are so ignorant of it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
So you can take your sarcasm and your mockery and you can shove it, because the joke is on you and your vehement sarcasm about how ignorant you must be not to know it just falls back in your face because yes you really ARE that ignorant!!!
Do you really believe she's just inventing this idea? Obviously you must not have realized who Natalia Pogonina is.
It's likely that it's something widely known in Russia and Asia but not abroad.
Also, there are some dogs also that can get very aggressive and threatening if a person that doesn't know them looks them straight in the eye. So it is not a human-invented idea... other animals also find staring by complete strangers to be intimidating instinctively.
I look at their nose
Aug 10, 2011
0
#30
@heinzie (post #21) Is that Erik shaking hands with Kasparov??
Aug 10, 2011
0
#31
obviously not all GM share the same view about eye contact
Quote from Queen Kosteniuk.
"I'm sure many of you will appreciate the great eye contact between the two players at the end of the game. We often get comments of people who watch a chess video and then complain that after a game ends (or also at the beginning of the game), the players often do not look at each other during the traditional handshake. This is actually normal, before the game, both players are quite nervous and are already thinking of their upcoming strategy, and at the end, if one of the players lose, he/she is likely to be upset with himself/herself, and may "forget" to look at his opponent during the handshake. It's a credit to Levon Aronian that he gave a very kind handshake with eye contact to Alexandra, after the game ended in her favor. See it for yourself directly in YouTube, in resolutions up to full 1080p"
Aug 10, 2011
0
#32
uhohspaghettio wrote:
ANason21 wrote:
Natalia_Pogonina wrote:
Looking in the eyes during a handshake is widely regarded to be offensive and intimidating in chess.
This is the single instance in my life when I've heard that maintaining eye-contact during any handshake of any kind, chess or otherwise, is intimidating or offensive. I was always taught that, unless you are a pinko commie rat or you lack self confidence, you shake hands firmly while looking into the eyes of the person whose hand you are shaking. This raises several questions:
If it is so "widely regarded," how come I could not find a single instance of the suggestion of avoiding eye-contact during a pre- or post-game handshake on any chess etiquette forums or websites (save for Natalia's single post)?
If it is so offensive and intimidating, wouldn't the great Bobby have maintained eye-contact during all his handshakes with Spassky?
If both parties are maintaining eye-contact, how do they decide which one should be offended or intimidated?
Is a firm handshake also offensive to you Natalia? Should I shake your hand like a limp wet fish while I look at my feet?
I think the more likely answer is that in most instances, the players are concentrating on the game, not on the handshake.
Hey!!!
Do you know who Natalia Pogonina is? She's one of the strongest women chess players in the world. Obviously you must not have realized this to make your sarcastic post.
Have a little respect. Take a look at your post, you are being really sarcastic in your questions and hostile and trying to be intimidating. Just because you are so ignorant of it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
So you can take your sarcasm and your mockery and you can shove it, because the joke is on you and your vehement sarcasm about how ignorant you must be not to know it just falls back in your face because yes you really ARE that ignorant!!!
Do you really believe she's just inventing this idea? Obviously you must not have realized who Natalia Pogonina is.
It's likely that it's something widely known in Russia and Asia but not abroad.
Also, there are some dogs also that can get very aggressive and threatening if a person that doesn't know them looks them straight in the eye. So it is not a human-invented idea... other animals also find staring by complete strangers to be intimidating instinctively.
I do know who Natalia Pogonina is, and it surprises me that eye-contact intimidates her.
Russia and Asia ARE abroad, you silly goose! I wasn't being sarcastic. I'd really like my questions answered. Here is another:
Are you suggesting that dogs are the reason chess players are intimidated by eye-contact?
If someone was refusing to make eye contact with me at a game, I would think they had some sort of problem/grudge with me and find that offensive. I think certainly in the UK it holds true that people look into their opponents eyes when shaking hands, with most offering a small smile. I would add, I extend that to include international opens in the UK as well as just standard congresses. Clearly different countries have different views on things. Strange huh?
ANason21 wrote:
Natalia_Pogonina wrote:
Looking in the eyes during a handshake is widely regarded to be offensive and intimidating in chess.
This is the single instance in my life when I've heard that maintaining eye-contact during any handshake of any kind, chess or otherwise, is intimidating or offensive. I was always taught that, unless you are a pinko commie rat or you lack self confidence, you shake hands firmly while looking into the eyes of the person whose hand you are shaking. This raises several questions:
If it is so "widely regarded," how come I could not find a single instance of the suggestion of avoiding eye-contact during a pre- or post-game handshake on any chess etiquette forums or websites (save for Natalia's single post)?
If it is so offensive and intimidating, wouldn't the great Bobby have maintained eye-contact during all his handshakes with Spassky?
If both parties are maintaining eye-contact, how do they decide which one should be offended or intimidated?
Is a firm handshake also offensive to you Natalia? Should I shake your hand like a limp wet fish while I look at my feet?
I think the more likely answer is that in most instances, the players are concentrating on the game, not on the handshake.
Great post!
If my opponent gave a darn about this stuff, I'd laugh at them.
Godspawn wrote: Thats your age talking.
I could just as easily say the same to you.
Aug 10, 2011
0
#38
ozzie_c_cobblepot wrote:
But now I know if I sit across from Ms. Pogonina to not look when shaking!
Yeah, yeah; just be careful where you are looking, or you're likely to get a swift smack, and I don't mean on the chessboard! 
Godspawn wrote:
oinquarki wrote:
Godspawn wrote: Thats your age talking.
I could just as easily say the same to you.
Of course...and that is what im saying. Its the way i and many other my age were raised. A firm handshake, and looking people in the eye is a sign of respect.
Laughing at people about it is a sign of immaturity. But as i said...when youre older youll understand.
Godspawn can be very patronising. I have noticed this before in many of his posts.