Promotion Etiquette?

Hey, when I play OTB and I promote a pawn I have this uncerntinty on what to say/do.

Say "Queen" then do it my self?

Say "Queen please" and wait for them to do it?

Or if it's obviously going to be captured should I just say "Queen" and let them just take the pawn as is?

Thanks in advance for any responses!

No need to say anything, just place the Queen on the board :)

What if I cant reach or something? I feel awkward stretching across the board... Especially if he just gonna take it right afterwards...

Won't you be stretching across the board anyways to push your pawn the the 8th rank? 

Just be glad you're not playing Living Chess...talk about an awkward social situation.

"I'm sorry, but you're being replaced..."

When I play with friends otb, I just grab the queen, put it on the eighth (or first) rank, and take the pawn off the seventh (or second) rank, then say, "check" or "checkmate" if it applies to the situation.

Yeah good points, I especially like Chasm's idea!

Well, I think that's getting a bit pedantic...

Well, push to the 8th, grab Queen yourself and essentially capture pawn? Sound right?

Say "Queen me, the queen bee, quick as you can say one, two, three!"

That is the appropriate way to ask that generally will not offend your opponent.

No shirt, no shoes, no queen.  

I dont make the rules, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some hippie get a queen on MY board!

What is this, checkers?

You should have the queen (if that's what you are promoting to) ready. You push the pawn and replace it with the promotion piece. Then you hit your clock.

Do not hit the clock until you replace the pawn, because your move is not done. If you do not have a Queen handy (perhaps it's a second) you can stop your clock to go searching for one.

When in doubt, call the TD.

"Time for this peasant to get coronated!"

Wow, people are getting really finicky about this crap.  I just swoop the pawn up, stick the Q down, bang my clock (and look all kinda smug while I'm writing my move down).

Not necessarily.  The ritual for knighting a pawn is actually more formal.  The pawn must not under any cases offend the bequeathing authorities if not wearing a helmet.

Right, and you thought I was the tempermental one...

And you know their queens are all gonna look like Janis.  Probably can't even get em to stay on the board (the only thing they'll wanna capture is a bottle of Scotch).