https://support.chess.com/article/627-sportsmanship-policy
Aborting games should be an uncommon occurrence. You waste the time of the players your aborted against, so they have to spend additional time setting up a new challenge.
If you're getting ratings a lot lower and don't want that, change your challenge settings.
https://support.chess.com/article/1962-how-do-i-choose-what-rating-my-opponents-are
Chess.com should do like Lichess when aborting games. Instead of losing ratings Lichess just times you out. Tens minutes the first time , then it would increase as you abort. Leave it to chess.com to get this wrong like so many other things.
When you abort too often a delay is introduced between seeks. However, how different sites handle any particular issue is up to them and one way isn't isn't necessarily wrong. Of course, you may prefer one method over another, but it doesn't make the other wrong.
Try by not aborting the game. A bit of patience because I would bet you are aborting after 5 seconds of the other person not moving, which is also annoying for the opponent.
(Also you can configure in settings the range of ELO of the opponent)
I lost 10 points because when I searched for a game, I was drawn against a 1100 rated player, some 350pts below me, who wouldn't abort a game with that rating differential when I only stood to win 2 points.
I know it's because I've aborted games and put in a pool with other players who've done the same thing, I generally abort games because many of my opponents are taking 10-15+seconds to make a flipping move, so I move on to another game where somebody might actually be ready to play a match, then chess.com in their wisom, decided to declare I lost the match against the 1100, took away 10 rating points, even though not a single move had been made - if that's not creating an artificial ratings infrastructure I don't know what is, giving somone 10 points for literally doing nothing.
I've also noticed after that, it then takes ages to get paired with anyone, probably because I've been put on the naughty step with all the other people who also abort games waiting for someone to make a move and the pool is smaller.
What a way to piss of people that use your sight, you need to think again, literally no harm is being done whatsoever in aborting games, either that or change the amount of time one is required to make a move down to 5 seconds, think about it, someone is literally sat there and has pressed PLAY, if they then decide they have something else to do I don't see why I should be forced to sit still for 20 seconds waiting for them to decide if they can be bothered to move. Also was paired with another lower ranked 1100 rated player straight after even though I've set incoming and outgoing to -50, he lost in 32 moves, how is that fair on him to also be forced to play someone much higher rated.
Ridiculous rules and way to treat people.