Should chess be a game of refined etiquette?

The way chess is portrayed in popular culture makes it seem like chess was always, ideally, a game of refined politeness and sportsmanship.  Quietness, handshakes, mutual respect, fair play, board etiquette and so on.

Given the experiences of many on this site, though, it seems chess is now a game of trash talking, rage quitting, stalling, or even cheating.

Whether the result of the internet, or modern culture, or whether it was ever thus and the civilised portrayal merely a fictional utopian ideal, wouldn't it be better to have chess become a respectful game (again)?

Or am I just missing the point?

Do you think it would be better if it hadn't?

Is it worth trying to act differently to the crassness of the current age, or is it a case of can't beat 'em, join 'em?

Etiquette is to resign before the king is capture.

If people would stick to the rule, we could have both. Let the idiots join together and self destruct.It is so interesting how the bad sports are drawn to the good sports. Maybe unknown envy , gluttony, or dropped as a child. It’s hard to understand anything about darkness other than it being dark.

The way something is commonly portrayed does not always equate to reality. While in the past you did have cases of the gentlemens game of chess between two sharply dressed aristocrats in a fancy ballroom, a more likely image would be two factory workers half drunk playing chess on their break. Of course nothing stops you from enjoying the game like it is portrayed in popular culture, it's just something that is not anymore realistic today than it was 200 years ago.

I see nothing but refined people with proper etiquette all over this site. 🙄👹

Chess is a war, the objective to crush your opponents ego, handshake is pure hypocrisy , the better way is to exchange punches or slaps before and after the game with verbal assaults in between

At ease private it's just a board game.

Chess is a simulation of war; I compare it to sports like boxing or MMA. Why then even should it be an activity where gentlemanly manners and refined behavior prevail? I never understood this stereotype. If anything, Chess evokes emotions like anger, aggression and schadenfreude.

I guess if we're taking that line, our opponets should forfeit their lives if they lose (at the very least).

But I prefer the more mild mannered game idea.

There is one place where decent manners and good sportsmanship is the norm, and that is in OTB tournaments. Insults and poor behavior are pretty rare there.

Yo solo se que no se nada

Generally, people who talk like this have never experienced real war and have never been in the military. This kind of talk makes me think about schoolyard bullies and how insecure they really are. 
In my humble opinion, you can play an all out aggressive game and play fiercely to win, and still shake hands and respect your opponent. He's not your enemy....just your opponent.

I purposely use my real name and offer a picture of me and my wife. I'm not trying to project an "image" of toughness like some people. It's just chess and I would prefer my opponents see who I am and relate to me as a human being....as I try to relate to them.

Couldn't agree more. Besides I used to play chess with my family and friends, pretty sure my grandma wasn't trying to murder me.

What's "Chinese chess"? You're not talking about "Go", are you?

Thanks....I didn't know that existed.

Well, I know it exists. That's more than I knew before.....but not much.

only do that otb