Why aren't bishops called gurus, rabbis or mullahs?

Or maybe bishops could be called witch doctors, sages, seers, psychics, monks or lamas?

To be fair, bishops should probably just be called spiritual leaders or advisors, so as not to give chess the appearance of favoritism to a particular religion.

Come to think of it, rooks and castles are antiquated symbols.  Maybe they are more appropriately called buildings, tanks, mountains, tree houses, strongholds, lookouts, sniper's nests or vantage points.

Cars and motorcycles and bicycles and trucks have replaced horses, so maybe the modern knight is now merely a driver, chauffer?

The pawn could easily be a peon, or an expendable (temp worker, contractor, intern, orderly, servant, maid, groundskeeper, etc...).

That's just scratching the surface of the potential lexicon, but it would make discussions about chess games and tactics more up to date, less denominational. We need to ensure chess remains contemporary, relevant and neutral into the forseeable future.

Pawns = Marines

Rocks = Tanks

Knights = Drones

Bishops = CIA agents

Queen = Donald Rumsfeld

King = President

How can you bad mouth Catholicism like that foo ?

Quit yo jibba jabba and eat some nuts. Rrrrrrrrrmmmmm

He's only a bishop in English. In some languages, he's a fool, in others he's an elephant. Rather oddly, rooks and knights are also called elephants in some parts of the world.

Take account chess is only a variant among many others of certain type of board games, and it happened to be developed in Christian Europe. And yes, in Castilian Spanish the bishop still keeps the Arab name for elephant.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_piece#Piece_names

In some languages he's a camel. That's even better.

He's also an elephant in Russia.

" We need to ensure chess remains contemporary, relevant and neutral into the foreseeable future. "

What do you suggest might be the best way that We ensure chess remains contemporary, relevant and neutral ?

Let's start by making the colours more neutral... let's change the board and the pieces to grey.

Rename chess to squarebattle :)

In italian its name is Alfiere that comEs from a spanish word. It's a military grade.

From Wikipedia:

One of the main aims of the opening is to mobilize the pieces on useful squares where they will have impact on the game. To this end, drones are usually developed to f3, c3, f6 and c6 (or sometimes e2, d2, e7 or d7), and both players' president and Donald Rumsfeld marines are moved so the CIA agents can be developed (alternatively, the CIA agents may be fianchettoed with a maneuver such as g3 and Bg2). Rapid mobilization is the key. Donald Rumsfeld, and to a lesser extent the tanks, are not usually played to a central position until later in the game, when many minor pieces and marines are no longer present.

Can we come up with a modern term for castling?

Or what about...

One of the main aims of the opening is to mobilize the pieces on useful squares where they will have impact on the game. To this end, accountants are usually developed to f3, c3, f6 and c6 (or sometimes e2, d2, e7 or d7), and both players' CEO and CFO office workers are moved so the salesmen can be developed (alternatively, the Salesmen may be fianchettoed with a maneuver such as g3 and Bg2). Rapid mobilization is the key. the CFO, and to a lesser extent the Board members, are not usually played to a central position until later in the game, when many minor pieces and temp-workers are no longer present.

Fianchettoeing a CIA agent sounds like the sort of thing North Korea would do.

lol

I know I used to lose a lot in the opening by moving my Donald Rumsfeld out too early.

I've also heard opposite-color salesman endings tend to lead to a draw. That's why I like to be careful when exchanging my salesmen for accountants. Honestly, I think the two salesmen together are more than twice as good as a single salesman- though connected accountants and hard to deal with.

I try to choose whether I like salesmen or accountants more though based on the end game. If the temp-workers are on opposite sides of the board and ready to get promoted to CFO, then I like to have a salesmen around. But accountants are better in closed positions or in deal with or assisted connected passed temp-workers.

In some situations I think the accountants are even better than the board members. In a closed and locked position, it can be really hard to make progress with board members or even the CFO even though they are technically "stronger".

In Russia bishops called "elephants"
Speaking about the knights, they are called "horses" ^^

sounds as if this thread started on the basis of religious intolerance against all forms of religion which is just as bad as intolerance between religions. such sectarianism can be just as evil as any other form of prejudice.

This is not a crusade or jihad, my friend or a referendum on religion itself. I'm not trying to offend people of faith.  Religion isn't contrary to a sense of humor, so I don't know why you thought you could read all that into what I posted, but without me going into my personal experiences and views on religion and spirituality, I will just say you're totally incorrect. You need to get a sense of humor. Similarly, if someone tells you "A priest, a rabbi and a monk walk into a bar" joke that is "evil" religious intolerance? Rubbish.  I said nothing intolerant of any religion, nor did I impugn directly or by implication any religion, and I will leave it at that. 

xman720 - gg!

So, what I think you're saying in so many words is that one should develop the chauffeurs early to claim middle geometries and create engagement opportunities, and then bring the witch doctors out. Still, there are those who would push the stronghold's interns out to a4 or h4 in the announcment phase and I always smile at the arrogance as it is usually straightforward to pinkslip them when they do.

'Rook' means 'chariot' in Persian, and the English kept using the Persian name. In Chinese Chess it is still called the Chinese word for 'Chariot'. That the Chess piece looks like castle tower is the fault of the Italians, who mistook the name for Rocca = fortress. So in fact the Rook in English is already called 'Armored Car'.

I know of no other language than English where the Bishop piece is named after a spiritual leader.