Just for fun, I'll start:
Despite his familiarity with the work, Skippy is not allowed to recite the final death scene from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet during the sudden death phase of a game.
101 Things Skippy Is Not Allowed To Do During a Chess Tournament
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Skippy may not use his wind-up Mickey Mouse clock as a game timer.
Skippy may not slide a whoopee cushion onto his opponent's chair when he is not looking.
Skippy is not allowed to throw a dark blanket over his head and play the Empire's theme from Star Wars when he's losing a match.
Skippy is not allowed to call the final match "the bonfire of the vanities" and attempt to use the venue's fire suppression system to extinguish it.
Auntie_Maim wrote:
Of course, the question now becomes what does one do if this happens? One of our other esteemed members suggested that our player make a comment to his opponent to the effect that he found his adversary very attractive and appreciated the delay, as he could continue to undress him/her/it with his eyes.......!
I don't think i get what u mean.
Skippy is no longer allowed to wear sandals to tournaments, because he picks his toenails on the side of the table while waiting for his opponent to move.
Sep 15, 2013
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#9
All very funny! But I've always regarded my opponents' time as belonging to them. As a consequence, I have infinite patience with these lost souls.
Sep 15, 2013
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#11
Haha. These are hilarious.
Skippy may not pull out his box of "Dixie Dynamite" with the wild eyed gleam of a true lunatic and start throwing them down on the table next to the chess board while humming the star spangled banner...
BOOM!
linuxblue1 wrote:
I suggest that Skippy is not allowed to jump over the chessboard:
A chess-playing kangaroo? Oh, rock on. But I have to ask...does his game end up like the novel printed by monkeys on a keyboard? ;p
learningthemoves wrote:
Haha. These are hilarious.
Skippy may not pull out his box of "Dixie Dynamite" with the wild eyed gleam of a true lunatic and start throwing them down on the table next to the chess board while humming the star spangled banner...
BOOM!
YES! lol
Skippy is not allowed to schedule a chess tournament to begin at 7:00 a.m. on the first day of dove season in the wilds of Alabama.
Speaks for itself:
Skippy is not allowed to stash extra queens in her pouch, is that what I'm hearing?
you are hilarious....
These are, as Laurie said, hilarious...
Hi, guys ;) I'd been reading another thread about why master-level players tend to resign before it seems the game is over and of course, the debate continues about whether or not doing so is an insult or a sign of respect. One of the posters mentioned that during one of his tournaments, he played against an opponent who was determined not to resign, but rather tried to run out the clock -- in a 30-minute game! (It was apparently a mate in 1 as well, so doubly irritating.)
Of course, the question now becomes what does one do if this happens? One of our other esteemed members suggested that our player make a comment to his opponent to the effect that he found his adversary very attractive and appreciated the delay, as he could continue to undress him/her/it with his eyes.......!
As it turns out, making such a suggestion to one's opponent decidedly fits in the category of "things you can't do during a tournament." I do, however, agree with Inmaniac (who made the suggestion -- muaaaahahahaha) that "there's got to be a hundred ways to screw with this guy." So in the spirit of creative suggestions -- very tongue-in-cheek, of course -- can you think of another 100 things Skippy would not be allowed to pull at a tournament?