bEaNs & KeMiStRy

Hello fellow scientists. This is Bebebo again. I am a professional, licensed Chemistry Teacher. It seems that quite a few people enjoy my teaching, so I have decided to present my finds to the general public. 

This is the most amazing, incredible way of creating bEaNs.

As you probably (don't) know, adding exactly two molecules sometimes results in a chemical reaction. Mind you, this is a very rare chemical reaction. The exact probability of it happening is a 1 out of a 5.30568 zillion percent chance of it happening. Now that you understand how rare it is, let's move onto the meat. Or, more accurately, the bEaNs.

When this kind of chemical reaction happens, beans will start forming at a rapid rate. (Get it? rapid? ... Why aren't you laughing?) In some cases, it may take over an hour for the beans to start forming. However, it is hard to know the average time it takes as it has only happened six times in the world.

You might wonder how this chemical reaction happens. Like I said before, it has happened only a few times, but scientists are already analyzing the situation. We believe that this happens because someone present when the molecules are added together ate too much beans. This means that within the previous two days, they have eaten at least ten pounds of beans. As a result, the person's breath has an abundance of bean molecules, which will connect to the two molecules that where put together in the first place. The beans then start coming from that collection of molecules, and at the same moment, plumbers whose name is Mario will begin to laugh hysterically. 

There are a few things that you need to be sure of in order to make this work:

1. The molecules must be put together unnaturally. 

2. There must not be any molecules present besides the two molecules and the bean molecules.

3. The molecules must not be like molecules, as that means they will dissolve each other without getting a chance to start creating beans.

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However, there is a different way for the more ambitious. You must have a Calcutater next to you. I didn't say calculator, I said Calcutater, which is a potato that simultaneously calculates for you. First, you must multiply the square root of  384.859395767939577684857683958766402039746 by 2630495.2634. Raise that number to the 1234th power. Next, you will need to purchase a  Nuclear Explosion Maker™, available for about $234,223,859,273,172,697.18 and use this to create explosions: Exactly the amount you calculated in the previous step. Next, quickly stuff five pounds of beans into your mouth, and chewing slowly, breathe gently onto the area of the explosion. You must wait for 2.48 seconds and lick your lips immediately after. No delay. 

Beans will begin to form on your lab table (or wherever you conducted this dangerous experiment.) Prepare some containers, as this will create 12349577385738345638 pounds of beans. 

Thank you. This is the end of my presentation. Goodbye, and have a good day.

Bebebo, out.

Bebebo and team are not responsible for any injuries after conducting either of these life-threatening experiments. Unless you immediately become a trillionare, it is not worth it to do this, as it is very dangerous. Please be careful and only do the outlined experiments at your own descretion.

How long did it take you to write this?

idk 10 minutes 

I’m gonna try this tomorrow

tell me how much money you earn by selling it (assuming you do)!

I will!

genius

briliant move