Killer jokes

hello my fellow chess.comians i want to hear (well...see) all the killer jokes hears one to start off.

Wanna hear a clean joke?

...

steve fell in the mud,

wanna hear a clean joke?

...

he had a bath with bubbles,

wanna hear a dirty joke?

...

bubbles was the girl next door.

don't worry you can tell more than one joke.

what do men do standing up, women do sitting down and dogs do on 3 legs?

they shake hands.

there are three nuns, a blonde, a brunett and a black head. they go to the gate of heaven and he says,

" right to get into heaven you each have to answer one each. who built the arch?"

then the black head says,"noah,"

AND THE LIGHTS FLASHED AND THE BELLS RANG AND THE DOOR FLUNG OPEN.

"now, how many deadly sins are there?" he says.

"7," the brunett says.

AND THE LIGHTS FLASHED AND THE BELLS RANG AND THE DOOR FLUNG OPEN.

"ok, lucky last,"he says.

the blonde was looking a little confused.

" what was the first thing eve said to adam?"

"uh, um," the blonde stuttered," that's a hard one!"

AND THE LIGHTS FLASHED AND THE BELLS RANG AND THE DOOR FLUNG OPEN.

A blonde was in harvey norman and saw this television so she took it to the register and asked: "how much for the tv?"
"im sorry, we dont sell to blondes" the man said

so she went out and got her hair dyed
"how much for the tv?"
"im sorry, we dont sell to blondes"

So she got a fancy dress and hat
"how much for the tv?"
"im sorry, we dont sell to blondes"
"how did you know i was a blonde?"

"for starters lady, its a microwave"